Editor’s Note: This is the first of hopefully a single issue series. Please plan accordingly.
Dear Mr. Lonelyhearts
Dear Mr. Lonelyhearts,
My partner of fifteen years and I have decided to break up. We have decided that we have irreconcilable differences and our couple’s counselor agrees. One of us likes to go out and be active in the community advancing our political agenda, the other prefers to stay at home and maintain a cozy household. You see, our interests have diverged and we feel that we aren’t as compatible as we once were. What do you think?
Very sad,
S. and A. in S.D.
Dear S. and A.
Snap out of it! You’re as compatible as two peas in a pod, you just can’t see it right now. Everybody is going through a bout of crankiness at this time of year. Light deprivation is a well-documented source of mental anguish. Can you honestly tell me that you no longer have anything in common? Just now? Did some karmic switch flip to “off”?
I think not. You’re both sad and angry. You’re clearly not thinking straight because of it. My advice is to fire the counselor and find a new one who can actually help you remain a couple.
Fire the counselor!
Dear Mr. Lonelyhearts,
My in-laws are coming for Thanksgiving, but I’m serving some non-traditional food like tamales. How do I break the news to them?
M.L. in K.
Dear M.L.
Hey! You’re me! I’m just going to serve tamales and whoever wants them can have them. If they don’t, it’s their loss.
The end.
…and that’s really the end.
Your pal,
bob