Friends,
I’m happy to announce that I’m now the proud owner of a 2012 Jeep Wrangler. What you may not know is that I travelled to the future to get it, and good gravy, people, it’s full of THE FUTURE! Gizmos and tricks abound in the thing, which is not really what you’d expect from a Jeep.
What led me to make such a reckless gamble on the health of my own personal economy? I carefully considered my options and came to the realization that the Grand Livingroom needs extensive and expensive repairs, the Mighty Jeepster would not be the best way to drive 100 miles a day, and the teensy racecar (may Marco’s dad have mercy on her soul) is absolutely no good in the snow. Did I mention that we’re getting snow right away? And ice. And ice and snow.
Mostly, though, I haven’t bought a new car since 1988 and I think that I would like to have a vehicle that I can work on when I want to rather than when I have to. That, and I was driving like a tremendous knucklehead in said racecar, and I think it was making me into a bad person. The type of reckless and angry person that I really don’t care for. It was the kind of car you get to drive fast and hard, but this isn’t a place for that sort of thing, I’ve come to realize, so my greatest challenge has been to settle into the slow and dull pace that everyone else here has adopted. The driving dynamics of the Wrangler reward slow, as does the free satellite radio, so I’ll just turn on the blues channel and take it easy from here on. I also thought that remaining alive might be a good idea, so getting rid of the sports car also made sense for obvious reasons.
But the interior of the new Jeep is also a nicer place to be, considering that it’s from the future. It has an air conditioner and a heater, after all. This is quite a luxury considering the other vehicles in the Damp Dog Lodge fleet. It even has a radio that plays radio stations and magically connects to a cellular phone as well as a satellite that’s full of music. You can talk to it and it talks back. And it has six gears in its transmission that you can select yourself. That’s two more than certain other Jeeps around here…
Once Spring comes, I can get to work on the Grand’s engine problems, then bid her a tearful farewell. She’s been a life saver for many years, but somebody with more time and patience should take on her challenges going forward. I suspect that the price will be very reasonable.
I’ll let you know how scary a short-wheelbase and slab-sided vehicle can be once something crops up, but I’m really pleased at the moment. Maybe it’s the new car smell.
Your pal,
bob