Friends,
I’ve really enjoyed my Birthday Holiday Season so far, and thanks to a frantic “I’m a bad person for missing your birthday” post this evening, the season continues. Traveling far and wide over this great land, the birthday celebrations have been entertaining, lively, and to quote the prophet, pretty great.
What hangs over my head now like the Sword of Albatrosses is the looming threat of jury duty. If I were a religious person, which you might be surprised to learn that I’m not, I could just march into the courthouse and proclaim some sort of talmudic proscription against passing judgement against another, but we evil seculars get no such allowance. I’m still uneasy about it for a lot of reasons, but I’ll take the time to rattle off only a few:
- I’m not a peer of the person in the dock. I can guarantee it.
- I certainly wouldn’t want to be judged by the person in the dock.
- How will this affect the time line?
- They’re insane if they can even pretend that I’ll be impartial.
- I can’t afford the time off without pay.
The last point is pretty important. It was suggested that I review the policy manual at work to see if the company will pay for time served on jury duty, but I couldn’t find even a mention of “jury,” “duty,” “jury duty,” or even “plate of shrimp.”
I know they’re required to give me time off, but they’re not required to pay my salary, so that’s that. End of story. Period…
Until somebody decides that they need to prove a point and issue a warrant for failure to appear. Or you marry your great-grandfather.
Your pal,
– bob