Friends,
The way the day started was perfectly fine, save the alarm going off at 4:00. Cozy flannel sheets, breakfast with Mme. Puppy Dog, getting on the road a little late but making up the deficit and getting to work on time. I wasn’t even too concerned when my first press release went out with bizarre characters mucking up the formatting. At least I was ticking off boxes on my bloated end of the year task list.
It’s a poorly kept secret that I applied for the newly relaunched automobile columnist position at the Orange County Register a few months ago. This is my dream job, the sort of gig you’d drop everything to do. I dreamed about it. I wrote stories in my head about taking an Aventador to Albertson’s. Stories about canyon carving in a Corolla. And stories like the distributor post from a few days ago to explain why these may be the best times so far for reliability and economy in our cars and trucks.
I found out today that I didn’t get the job over the internet.
Then the phones at work went down.
Then the live Verizon tech support lady told me in a chat window over the internet that I’d need to file a report over the internet.
Then my colleagues forgot how to work stuff. A global, universal tech stroke, if you will.
So what do you do with a plate of late-afternoon picnic potato salad like that? Do you smile in the host’s direction while choking it down? How much worse could the stomach ache get?
I took a different tack and wrote jokes about moon monsters instead.
It’s therapeutic.
– bob