Author: bob

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Where Are You? – Not Working!

Let me know if you like this thing. It’s an interactive map from maps.amung.us that shows visitors to this very site. I thought I’d give it a try to see how it works, but if it’s too creepy, throw that in the comments too.

Fun! (maybe)

– bob

UPDATE: Wow, it’s pretty pokey, isn’t it? The thing works, but yikes.
ANOTHER UPDATE: Turns out that it’s slow because it doesn’t have much data to work with. If it’s remains stalled in an hour or so, it’s gone.
FINAL UPDATE: I had to kill the map because it wasn’t working and made the page run so slow as to be unusable. It was a super fun experiment though.

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Blonde Bombshell

Friends,

You may have heard that German police arrested some surely well-sorted and well-adjusted individuals last night. Apparently these fine, upstanding lads were planning to blow up pubs, airports, and Ramstein Air Base. Surely their motives were misunderstood. They harbored an intense hatred for the United States, but hey! who doesn’t? My guess is that they were simply hoping to get on the air base to start a cosmetology school. What else could explain this from the AP:

German Federal Prosecutor Monika Harms said the three, two of whom were German converts to Islam, had trained at camps in Pakistan run by the Islamic Jihad Union, a group based in Central Asia. They had obtained some 1,500 pounds of hydrogen peroxide for making explosives.

Islamic hairdressers. Yeah, that’s it.

– bob

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Verizon Guileless

Friends,

Verizon Wireless has a real neat deal. It’s called “New Every Two” and the idea is that after 20 months or so, you’ll find that your current cell phone is broken or just sucks. No worries! Just wait a few more months and we’ll give you a credit on a new one. Neat. I picked up a new Motorola MOTOSRSLY bR549 (or whatever) camera phone over the web for free (some restrictions apply, buh).

Speaking of restrictions, even Motorola acknowledges that Verizon imposes a ton of restrictions on “multimedia and data transfers” from the phone. So much so that without special hackerific software, the only way to get pictures and video off the thing without emailing the files to yourself (certain extra charges may apply), you have to buy a memory card and move the files there.

Ever seen a MicroSD card? It’s just a little smaller than your pinkie fingernail. How hard is it to keep track of? Don’t exhale, it’ll fly behind the furniture. Don’t ask how I know.

By the way, it’s been stormy in my little burg. I got the clue this afternoon by looking up…

…and when I got home, I was greeted by this very unhappy pup…

Seriously, it’s not my fault.

– bob

UPDATE: This is weird. Any thoughts on why I have to refresh this page to see the video? Please feel free to drop suggestions in the comments section.

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Gonzo. Gone.

Dear Former (on September 17th, not soon enough) Attorney General Alberto Gonzales,

Good riddance you sick, smirking, smarmy, hunchback little creep. You’ve been instrumental in making the lives of Americans everywhere more difficult. Signing off on torture, wiretapping citizens, politicizing the Justice Department, making a mockery of habeus corpus. Thanks jackass. Get out and stay out.

Don’t think you’ll be so radioactive as to scare off the law firm who might’ve considered hiring you? Soft landing? You wish.

– bob

UPDATE: Photo trashed by Wikipedia so I removed it.

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“This Is Becoming Like A Tradition…”

Howdy Diners!

As you may know, this was the weekend of the Idyllwild Jazz In the Pines music festival (warning: gooney website may break your browser). My aunt, uncle, family friend and his significant other, and my Dad were here for my second annual Sunday Jazz Breakfast. My signature dish for the event? Berry pancakes on the grill! What’s not to love? Well, nothing until the propane runs out. Good timing, eh?

I also fried bacn on the grille’s sidecar (wouldn’t want the smell in the house, after all) and I have a question. Any suggestions on a better pan than the cheap-ass T-Fal business I have already. Celaphon? All-Clad? Something that’ll heat evenly, without the hotspots that wrecked the pork slabs. Thanks for the help.

Your pal,

bob

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BREAKING – Wind

This just in!

Der Spiegel is reporting that the Norwegian moose population are, um, gross emitters. This proves once again that we’re all doomed by the warmening…

Norway is concerned that its national animal, the moose, is harming the climate by emitting an estimated 2,100 kilos of carbon dioxide a year through its belching and farting.
Norwegian newspapers, citing research from Norway’s technical university, said a motorist would have to drive 13,000 kilometers in a car to emit as much CO2 as a moose does in a year.

If we were to replace all of our Norwegian moose with compact fluorescent caribou…

– bob

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Happy Campers!

Friends,

I never thought I’d see the day, but the folks paid a visit to the Festival Of Dirt this morning. We took the tour of the medical clinic, currently under construction, the computer labs that have been off-line for a day, even the lunch line. Meatloaf, people! Mom’s comment, “Um, that’s really red.” It could’ve even been ketchup. Not so sure what was discoloring the mashed potatoes though. By the way, what sounds better for lunch when it’s 112 degrees outside? Meatloaf, mashed potatoes and gravy, of course. We escaped to a dive Mexican restaurant. Why not? It’s Indio. Delicious naturally, even now. Urp.

Mom and her friend were smitten by the Children’s Services facilities, what with the bright colors, positive messages, and adorable children scampering about. “Hey Bob,” I hear you ask, “were you able to crap on their positive experience?” I guess so. The kids there are desperately poor, most are homeless. Way to bring it down, eh? Sorry. That was quite the buzzkill.

What’s the best way to impress people on the whole homeless shelter scene? Show them the tent, our giant soft-sided shangri-la. Lordy. The A/C units were blasting, trying beat the swamp coolers at their game. It was noisy, dark, and full of people sleeping in the middle of the day. “How many people stay here?” “Eighty or so…” Then the most astounding comment was issued by Mom’s friend, “this is very nice, actually.” Better than an SRO hotel, it turns out.

It’s pretty interesting to see how people from the outside see your workplace. The eyes get bigger. You guide the tour around a corner and the chit-chat stops. The unspoken comment was simply this; you work here? every day? good lord.

Indeed.

– bob

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Jaunty Election Blorg: Too-Early-To-Tell Edition

Ladies and Gentlemen,

I understand that you’re tired of these presidential candidates. Too phony. Too calculating. I get that and I’m here to help. With all of these knuckleheads vying for your attention, it’s hard to know what to think. We’re here to help! Here’s the Jaunty Early Line on the respective tickets for the general election. You can take this to Vegas. Ready?

Hillary wins the nomination. How can she not? Obama is imploding. The rest of the Democratic field is, well, Kucinich and kookoolulu Bill Richardson. My pick is a Clinton/Obama ticket. Why? That’s pretty easy. Hillary is marginally electable in the general election and Obama suffers from the inexperience tag and could use the veep time to be ready for 2014 2016. I’ve thrown this out to a couple of people, and they cringe. I’m a big fan of universal healthcare, but will that dynamic duo buy in to global warming hysteria? More petrol taxes? Slapping down coal-fired power plants? Bazillion MPG corporate average fuel economy standards? Nanny state nonsense? Yikes.

Yeah, I know. I liked Bill Richardson at one point. He’s clearly the smartest guy in the room, but he can’t be president. The extreme left’s adorable pander bear just can’t cut the mustard. As Senator Obama clearly doesn’t have the experience to run the Executive Branch, Governor Richardson has spent so much time tiptoeing through the netroots minefield that it’s hard to see him coming back.

But what about the GOPers? Glad you asked. The pragmatists over there see Giuliani as electable. The “base” hates him, which will play havoc on his primary chances. I still think he’ll prevail and be the nominee. Who to balance out the ticket? Nobody who’s running. I’m hearing weird noise about drafting Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to round out the ticket. Why not? She’s as conservative as can be. She helps with the people who want to vote for a woman, but don’t like Hillary.

Man, this could shape up to be a brutal campaign. Clinton/Obama vs. Giuliani/Palin could be a bloody slugfest, don’t you think? You thought you were tired of the campaign now…

Your pal,

bob

UPDATE: Date fixed and link to Draft Palin site added.

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Giant Baby!

Friends,

adorableThis is the post that will make you want to up the speed of your broadband internet connection. If you click the thumbnail to the left, you’ll see a giant version that is so, well, adorable, that you’ll get all mushy inside. Be warned, you’ll be highly suggestible at that point. Kids want a pony? Let ’em! Nigerians need a little help straightening out a financial mess? You’ll be all ears! Time-Warner is on the phone asking you to reconsider cancelling your cable? Eh, I wouldn’t go that far.

Still, this picture is 99.99% cute. I think you’ll agree.

– bob

(via The Proud Parents!)

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Indy! – 1941 Style

Race Fans,

This is a half-hour video (no audio besides generic Big Band) of Carburation Day and Race Day at Indianapolis in 1941. The treat? It’s in color! Ten minutes in you get to witness the great garage fire. Tech inspections? Thrill to a driver pulling his own plugs for the AAA guys! Be amazed that nobody is wearing seatbelts! Racecars with a reverse gear! Long chats with the chief mechanic during pit stops! Drivers smoking on the grid. This is racing, people. Enjoy.

– bob

via The Jalopy Journal

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It’s Hot, But Not Montana Hot

Dear Sweaty People,

I know you’re suffering, who isn’t? Your electric bills are astronomical, your car overheats on the drive in to work, tempers are flaring. What you need is a nice relaxing dip in the pool. Here’s a demonstration…



Taken in Lincoln, Montana and forwarded from Aunt Anita by the always delightful Auntie KC

Thanks! I feel much better now.

– bob