Tramway!

Friends,

How do you build a tram system up a steep slope before we invented anti-gravity boots and rock-climbing robots? Helicopters! These “mechanical dragonflies” hauled stuff up the hill to build towers and string cables so that a bunch of guys in the 1960s didn’t have to. This video is 25 minutes of your life that you may, as I do, find fascinating.

Also, the opening set-up shots are worth the time just to see the hotels and businesses that no longer exist—like Bob Hope.

Come for the nostalgia, stay for the crass jokes!

Your pal,

– bob

It’s Time To Think About Disappointment

A lovely centered picture of despair.

Friends,

If you’ve been following this hot mess for any length of time (and there may be some new readers who haven’t taken in enough to really be hip to the whole deal, but more on that in a teensy bit), then you may know that I’ve been waiting for a phone call from some people. People? Why yes, I applied for a job some months ago and I sat down for a group interview. It went okay, I thought. All four of us seemed to get along well and my skills lined up nicely with their requirements.

A lovely centered picture of more despair.

I followed up with a couple emails. One every two or three weeks, and it’s hard to know if they seemed needy or stalkery or pleading, but they went out and all but three went unanswered. The first two to the hiring manager and the last one to another of the interviewers. The first reply was nice enough and sort of encouraging with its “I hope all is well with you and look forward to speaking to you soon.” The last one finished up with, “I hope all is well,” but the bit at the beginning was crushing…

“Hi Bob,

Thank you for your message. We had several very qualified candidates (you being one of them) and we have filled the position.”

This was not the result I was hoping for.

Three months in, dreaming up marketing plans, plotting bold new strategies, imagining a world where I don’t have to get up at four o’clock in the morning to risk a commute that makes sane people cringe in horror, and it all went away. Poof. Nine point Verdana managing to stab me in the non-shriveled, non-blackened part of my heart.

“I hope all is well.”

Me too, madam. Me too.

Your pal,

– bob

UPDATE: Here’s a story from the paper of record on the lady who eventually got the nod. I guess you could call this a safe choice, but it’s worth noting that her previous business doesn’t seem to have had a website (source: Google, Internet Archive), so maybe it’s all about writing press releases? I’m clearly missing something here.

It’s Time To Talk About Coughing

A lovely centered picture of an advertisement.

Friends,

I’ve been pretty ill over the last few days with a weedy, grating cough that has left my voice a squeaky mess. It’s going around, of course. We’re in the middle of AN EPIDEMIC!!! after all. Some who passed on the flu vaccine (which has proven to be wildly effective, actually) are getting hit with a fairly brutal strain of the virus. Folks are missing work. There’s sniffling and wheezing everywhere. My fake cold is a pale imitation of this. It’s annoying, my throat hurts, but I haven’t joined the growing group of people planning bathroom remodels because they’ve recently had the opportunity to spend significant amounts of time analyzing the wallpaper patterns.

Clearly I’ve been so irresponsible that I’ve felt compelled to go to work every day during this illness. The volunteers aren’t going to deploy those computers themselves! Amirite? (they’ve been doing a fine job deploying computers themselves. you’re like a mother hen hovering over them. please. -ed)

Your best pal in the whole world,

– bob

The Early Bird Special

A lovely centered picture of a sextagenarian at his job.

Friends,

This is the time of year when our monied elders come out from their summer hiding places in Idaho and Canada and migrate to the Coachella Valley. Actually, the annual migration may serve to empower some who never left the desert. People in the service sector aren’t happy, like the checkers at the upscale supermarket I stopped at yesterday…

A woman who looked like Iggy Pop if he’d stopped working out decided that she’d let everybody in the checkout line wait while she took off to pick out flowers. Her food purchase was pending in the register, so everyone in the queue surely wouldn’t mind waiting out her pokey and painfully deliberative decision-making process. Once she picked her poinsettia, Princess Jerky Treat shoved me aside to figure out how to work the payment terminal.

The checkout clerks looked at me and offered a wan smile and a little shrug that told me all I needed to know—”Sorry about that, but we’ve got to deal with these fragile monsters for the next four months.”

Rich, entitled, poor spacial awareness. I feel for the service industry. They’re gonna hear “be a dear” and will have to comp a lot of soup and breadsticks through March.

Keep a kind thought in your hearts for the poor kids down there who can’t get a job writing reverse mortgages, won’t you?

Your pal,

– bob