Here’s A Wee Update: Write Something, Dammit! Edition

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Friends,

I’ve been lax about updating this thing lately, but not for lack of something to say. You can see some nonsense from me on Twitter, mostly about politics and pretending to be friends with people I’ve never met. I also spend a certain amount of time feigning outrage about stuff. It’s not healthy to be a part of the Internet Outrage Machine, of course. The more you feed it, the more insatiable it becomes. You’d think that would be unsustainable, but Twitter is selling ads against the furor, so somebody has figured it out.

This leads me nicely (if you do say so yourself. -ed) to why I haven’t been posting lately. The job market has been particularly prickly and as I read the piles of rejection notes clogging my inbox, it’s been tough to build up the will to write. You can only read that you’re no good for so long before you start believing it yourself. “They don’t realize what they’re missing,” and “Maybe it wasn’t the right fit” still don’t pay the bills. You will not find that surprising.

I still think that writing can pay the bills, so here’s a start. There will be much more to come, including a new project that I can’t talk about yet. Thanks for stopping by. I’m excited to get back behind the keyboard.

Your pal,

– bob

Oh, The Technical Issues You’ll Have!

Friends,

I’ve been working on cleaning up some of the issues around here, but it’s a bit of a slog to go back through ten years of posts to find what’s broken. Here are only a few of the fun things that have gone wrong at your favorite Jaunty Little Blog:

  • When I moved to the new hosting platform, some of the images didn’t make it over. There are broken links everywhere and I’m going through the archives to return the missing files. It’s a bit of a mess.
  • Changing to the new template has damaged some of the closing tags for links in the posts. This means that links are just spilling across entire articles instead of ending where the link is supposed to end. I’m not entirely sure why this happened, but I’m going through each post and editing tags. So far, I’ve made it back to 2012.

I’m sure there’s a lot more to do, but I appreciate your patience while I continue to work on restoring some order.

Your pal,

– bob

UPDATE: I’m having a harder time finding old pictures than I thought. It turns out that my naming convention wasn’t as air-tight as I thought. I hope the Wayback Machine can help.

A Small Business, Man

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Friends,

No, I’m not giving up on finding a commuting for an hour, sitting in a cubicle 9-to-5 job, but the benefits of a freelance career have their appeal. For instance, I can step outside and take pictures. Also, Mme. Puppy Dog isn’t getting any younger, so it’s nice to spend time with her.

The only hiccup is getting new clients, and recurring clients would be nice. Maybe you know someone who needs a press release or a new website or who’d like to start a direct mail campaign. I know someone who can make that happen.

You know who.

– bob

Drought.

 

Friends,

August? Really? It’s been that long?

I can explain…

  • My trip to Hemet, discussed in some detail here, was to deposit the final paycheck from the Far Eastern Outpost of a charity. In the intervening months, I’ve been looking for jobs, trying to keep my house, and other fun activities.
  • “You can’t fire me, I quit,” seems like a lot of fun to say, but actually doing it is fraught with problems. First, I should say that I was, by my reckoning, the fourteenth employee to be investigated at that charity in the last year. By investigated I mean selected for summary judgement and immediate dismissal. It turns out that when the boss tries to impugn your expertise in public, that boss will make sure you’re fired if you stand up for yourself. For instance, I was unable to see into the future to know that the boss’ internet connection in a hotel conference facility on the East Coast might be spotty. Nor was I able to fix that connectivity problem. Therefore, I must be the worst and she let everyone know that. I was having none of it.
  • Luckily, I have friends who warned me of my impending separation, so I was advised to quit before the papers could be drawn up. The bad news is that it’s pretty difficult to receive unemployment insurance benefits if you quit, regardless of the reason. I’ll just go ahead and put my ultimately successful appeal of the denial of benefits in the “other fun activities” column.
  • After a year slogging through a fairly hostile work environment, leaving has been a relief but getting healthy has been a slow process. Slower still has been working out what to do for a living now that I’m all grown up. Freelance copywriting seems the most risky tack to take, but I’m gravitating in that direction. Head over to bobtherieau.com and let me know why that’s a terrible idea!

That’s the short version of events. There are some great stories to share from my final days over there, but the holiday season has begun and I hate to do anything that’ll adversely effect their fundraising efforts. After all, I wouldn’t have stayed there for a decade if I didn’t believe in the mission to help people in need of a fresh start. I guess you’re witnessing my own fresh start, so cross some appendages that I can make it a good one.

Your best pal in the whole wide world,

– bob

Wait! Come back!

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Friends,

I’ve hit my head very hard this evening on the kitchen cabinetry and I’ve surely earned a concussion for the effort. There’s every reason to believe that I’ll be fine, but I’m a little worried that the dizziness and confusion I’m experiencing at the moment signal something much more than a little bump on the noggin.

But that’s boring, so let’s get on with a little housekeeping!

Since I last uploaded something here over a month ago, we’ve had two fire scares. One that prompted the mobilization of over three thousand men and women to beat down the furious blaze that eventually consumed over 27,000 acres, and a smaller one today that was put out fairly quickly through our own corps and the quick attention of neighbors in Fern Valley. In the words of internationally noted photographer Jenny Kirchner on Facebook, “Yard abatement is important.” Indeed it is.

I don’t really have a headache exactly. Truth is, my head feels mostly okay. There’s going to be a bump for sure, but the biggest worry is that I don’t really have a good idea where I am right now. Well, never mind that. On with it…

During the Mountain Fire, I evacuated myself, papers, photographs, and Mme. Puppy Dog to the desert. From our emergency evacuation center in Cathedral City (whose city council has never met a boondoggle it wouldn’t agree to fund in full), we could watch the flames charging along the ridge towards the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway’s Mountain Station. Horrifying. I took pictures, but they’re kind of terrible camera phone shots not worth posting. This one is nicer.

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Let’s see, what else happened? I got a new boss at the Far Eastern Outpost of a charity from out west somewhere in a city with a mayor. You know, that mayor. Mayor Headlock, they’re calling him. “Mayor Fingers” is creepier, so I’ll stick with that, since all signs point to him being really creepy.

Sorry, a little confused at the moment. I should get back on topic. Crickets are interesting, aren’t they? 78 degrees in the house, shouldn’t be sweating. Sweating might be bad.

I started installing a new french door on the weekend before guests were to arrive a couple weekends ago. Here’s a tip, all of the locksets you can buy at the hardware store have a defined offset. The offset is the distance between the edge of the door and the center of the lock and most are between 2 3/8 and 2 5/8-inches. You can get shorter deadbolts if you trim down the side of your door to be a lot narrower, but they’re blindingly expensive. You are hereby warned.

Very sleepy all of the sudden. Goodnight everyone.

Your pal,

– bob

It’s Time To Talk About A Few Things

Friends,

I’ve been neglecting this fine project lately in favor of upheaval, failed attempts at fighting off illness, and other work to keep this ship of Damp Dog Lodgeness afloat. This barren month or so has been unflinchingly gooey, damp and cold. Hardly the stuff that these entertainments are made of.

Spring, then, seems like just the right time to get back to a regular schedule of writing, so I will.

Until then, you could always follow me on Twitter. Right?

Your pal,

– bob

It’s Time To Talk About Coughing

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Friends,

I’ve been pretty ill over the last few days with a weedy, grating cough that has left my voice a squeaky mess. It’s going around, of course. We’re in the middle of AN EPIDEMIC!!! after all. Some who passed on the flu vaccine (which has proven to be wildly effective, actually) are getting hit with a fairly brutal strain of the virus. Folks are missing work. There’s sniffling and wheezing everywhere. My fake cold is a pale imitation of this. It’s annoying, my throat hurts, but I haven’t joined the growing group of people planning bathroom remodels because they’ve recently had the opportunity to spend significant amounts of time analyzing the wallpaper patterns.

Clearly I’ve been so irresponsible that I’ve felt compelled to go to work every day during this illness. The volunteers aren’t going to deploy those computers themselves! Amirite? (they’ve been doing a fine job deploying computers themselves. you’re like a mother hen hovering over them. please. -ed)

Your best pal in the whole world,

– bob

Short Hiatus Alert!

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Friends,

No, really, I have a very painful bit of something in my eye that’s preventing me from posting a great big article on THE FUTURE! I’m going to see if I can irrigate whatever it is out, but please know I haven’t forgot about both of my beloved readers.

The future, everybody.

Your pal,

– bob

The Week Where The People Came

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Friends,

The Damp Dog Lodge is a deceptively large place and can accommodate throngs of guests. With the July 4th holiday falling on a Wednesday this year, the onslaught was more of a trickle, dribbling in all week. It started with a visit from a beautiful girl the weekend before last, my parents stopping by in the middle of the week for a parade, then my sister’s family arrived to cap off the week. In the past, I haven’t dealt well with crowds in my solitary and very secret Alpine hideaway, but over time it seems natural—almost organic, to have a pile of people here laughing together and generally enjoying the place. I almost feel robbed by the randomness of the calendar this year, but there’s plenty more summer left to get people together for happy funtimes. Let’s get on this right away.

While you all are making your travel plans, let’s get on with the picture show!

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Here’s another scene from the parade. In this photo, you will see Randolph Mantooth and Kevin Tighe towing the Ghostbusters down North Circle Drive. I had a creepy feeling that the Ecto-1 needed service. Call it a hunch.

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You may think we didn’t have bands in the parade, but that’s because you limited your definition of “band” to groups who are marching. We’re here to smash your preconceived notions. Also, thanks cheap oil!

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“Vee are from Chermany!” she shouted as she trained her expensive video camera rig at the unwashed yokels gawking at her driver’s preposterous tricycle. She’ll have footage to show her European friends that Americans are weird and perpetually astonished. We now have a picture of her dopey ride to show them exactly why we were astonished.

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Robert’s Jalapeño Creme sauce is, if this banner is to be believed, what we always wanted. When he tapes Tums to the jars, I’ll be convinced. I don’t think my esophagus has truly recovered.

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These guys make my Mom cry. And by “my Mom” I mean everybody.

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I’m going to go ahead and call this a parade float. It was unsponsored showmanship just for the sake of it, which I applaud. I’m going to also go out on a limb and call their display really nutty.

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Unflinchingly patriotic, but wow. Just wow.

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The Quilting Club had an entry in this year’s parade, as they have for many past parades. This year, however, they quilted their pickup. I don’t know if I’m the first to say this, but I’m kinda digging their winch cozy and I see opportunities here. Hello, Kickstarter!

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They at least did a better job of replicating a mid-80s Chevrolet C20 fender than the cheap knock-offs at a cut-rate body shop. (Look, these are the jokes, folks. I will gladly refund the purchase price if you’re not fully entertained.)

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This scene is from last weekend, where my niece recreates the historic moment when Teddy Roosevelt threw a saddle on a brown bear and charged up San Juan Hill. As you do.

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And this scene suggests my nephew’s adoration of Philippe Petit. Amazing.

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One of the sections of the climbing wall at the new playground is called Suicide Rock. In this reenactment, my niece attempts to convince my brother-in-law that all hope is not lost.

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And in this picture, I end the post. Thanks for stopping by.

Your pal,

– bob

Things Intervene

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Friends,

Busy times around here have slowed posting to a crawl. I have a lot of pictures and descriptions of those pictures from last week queued up and ready to go, but just haven’t had time to assemble a cogent thought about them (and that’s different from any other time how? – ed). Tomorrow, my friends. Tomorrow.

In the meanwhile, I leave you to ponder the dumbest picnic table ever conceived.

Goodnight, everybody!

– bob

Thirty Days of Posts – The Thirtieth!

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Friends,

Our experiment in consistency has been a measured success. Because I’m posting in two places, both here and at the other site, traffic is coming from different places, so it’s not easy to see who’s coming from where. A little less than a third of the visitors to the Blogspot version have come from Russia though, so hello Russia!

And thanks to all of you Americans who stopped by this month. How’d I do? Would you care for me to keep this up?

Your comments are always welcome.

Your pal,

– bob

The U.N. Security Council Considers A Strongly Worded Communique

Friends,

This may be the most terrible thing that has ever happened in the history of horrible things. Yeah, that’s right, Bobtherieau.com is down.

I know! It’s pretty tragic.

Your pal,

– bob

P.S. I mean, where are you going to get your pictures of sad clowns and precious artsy photos of British sports cars?

UPDATE: The site’s back up again! Hooray! All is right again with the world!

Thirty Days of Posts: Wherein I Introduce The Project

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Friends,

Today is the first one of June in the year we’ve all agreed on, 2012. As you most likely are aware, I’ve been letting this field go fallow and, well, dammit, that’s gonna change. Therefore, I vow (not wish, not hope, not sorta) to post something new and interesting (big boast, big fella. interesting? – ed) every single day this month.

If you think that this is some stunt, be assured that it is. It’s a gimmick to trick me into getting back into the habit of making something of this site. I have the opportunity to get a new URL for free for the blog from the nice people at Squarespace (who are not a sponsor, but who will end up hosting the blog at the end of this exercise), so I thought that I should make it worth everyone’s while to actually show up for the switch.

I guess this is the part where I should thank Blogger for their platform all these years. Back in the early 1850s, when I started this, they were easily the most and best and biggest platform to self-publish on the web. I even bought a subscription and labored away during those terrible first years, but as president Zachary Taylor wisely said back then, “You gotta git, son.” So I’m moving away from the Google empire that has treated me well to a smaller and more responsive empire where I get to actually own my stuff from now on.

The topics covered during this month will be old favorites (or favourites, as you say), things that vex me (as usual. – ed), the old cast of characters will make an appearance, and there will be new features that I can’t talk about now. Of course, I can’t talk about them now because I don’t know what they’ll be yet, but they’ll surely be amazing (or amazeballs, as you say).

Check in tomorrow when I’ll make an incredible pronouncement about something very interesting!

Your best pal in the whole wide world,

– bob