It’s Time To Think About People

A lovely centered picture of a conference room.

Friends,

I attended the American Advertising Federation (Desert Cities, don’t you know) luncheon this afternoon and it was a head-scratching affair. After meeting the advertising bigwigs in the desert, who were all very kind and welcoming, we sat down for lunch and listened to a panel of experts in marketing to the LBGT community. Granted that community isn’t a protected class in the Coachella Valley by the most fanciful stretch of the imagination, but I still have questions. Two big questions…

The lesser of the two, which is the most immediately important to me in my position as the spokesmodel (don’t judge) for the Far Eastern Outpost of San Diego’s Omnipresent Charitable Organization seems unanswerable. Presuming that the LBGT community is as highly political and willing to punish companies that aren’t as LBGT-friendly as the panel claimed this afternoon, how do I as the message crafter for a charity that is only loosely connected to the Catholic church and its dictums against homosexuality appeal to the LBGT community in a meaningful way? (whew! what an annoyingly long, run-on sentence! tighten it up, won’t you? – ed) This question leads to the next question, but stay with me for a second.

The wrinkle here is that if I wanted to try to appeal to the LBGT folks, which I do in a way that I’ll explain in a bit, would that offend the powers that might not appreciate that discussion? Is there a contingent at my workplace that might consider an appeal to people they might consider to be evil (or sinful or damned or the latest epithet) in itself evil?

The statistics trotted out at the luncheon were compelling: more disposable income, more cocktails and less beer (file that away for later), more technologically savvy, more brand loyalty. Some of these statistics are easy to explain while others like the cocktail thing are more difficult, but it’s easy to see why the room was packed with ad guys hoping to glean some insight. They want to sell stuff and need to know that the shirtless plumber ad is too transparent and that the community absolutely doesn’t appreciate pandering.

This is all fine, but it leads me neatly to my second question: When might we not have to tiptoe around everyone all the time? Like every group of people on the planet, there are nice gay people and terrible gay people. Friendly gay people and hateful gay people. Black, white, brown, beige, and pink. There are the same pockets of this and that in every discernible segment of the population, so I really actually don’t get why the “LBGT market” needs any special treatment. “Don’t pander,” the panelists warned. I couldn’t agree more.

Will I get resistance for advertising in Gannett’s Desert Outlook magazine or any of the other on- or off-line LBGT publications from the far-right donors? I imagine so but I’m not sure that I care. I think a lot of people are interested in the story of the Far Eastern Outpost, not just those whose ethical outlook is proscribed by a smaller world view (that I happen to find infuriating, but that’s another post). It’s just people, everybody. Some people will choose to be donors and some won’t. Some will find the things happening at the charity are worth supporting with their time or with their cash and some won’t. I don’t think it has too much to do with who someone chooses to sleep with, do you?

I didn’t think so.

Your pal,

– bob

POSTSCRIPT: Since I’m my own editor (i don’t have the time. i’m working on payroll and we need to have a talk about your lunch penalties. -ed) I’ve been reading this over and making edits for clarity. After pouring over each word, I’m annoyed by the labels. The panelists at the luncheon referred to those of us straight people who advocate and demand basic human rights like equal treatment for everyone no matter who they choose to love as “allies.” Like we’re a special class too. Protecting and supporting our fellows should be the baseline, not special. I’m not sure what’s more annoying; the label or the perceived need for one.

The Jeep Election

 

Friends,

This may be the second election in United States history decided by Jeeps. Let that sink in for a second.

If America’s foremost mink hubcap salesman hadn’t flubbed a news story about Jeep expanding back into China rather than saying at a rally in OHIO that Jeep was moving production to China, the state of the race would be very different. Partisans can talk about all of the other ways external forces have sabotaged his campaign, but this was an unforced error. In fact, it was the result of a lack of basic reading comprehension.

Shouldn’t that disqualify you from the presidency all by itself?

I’ll be up all night tomorrow hoping to find out…

Your best pal in the whole wide world,

– bob

If You Say Something Often Enough

A lovely centered picture borrowed from a nice person.

Friends,

What? The Republican nominee for president of the United States just said in his acceptance speech at his party’s convention that, among other nonsense, gas prices have doubled since President Obama has taken office. This is among the many things that the partisans have said over the last couple days that are demonstrably false. The fact that these people are spending so much time lying about stuff is really very stunning. These kids can’t win with facts? Well, I guess they can’t win anyway, but they can’t be proud of how they’d spun reality into some weird netherworld that even Peter Jackson wouldn’t touch.

To our suffering friends at the Republican National Convention,

You guys must cry yourselves to sleep with the terror of your terrible nightmare world bearing down. We can help you. There are meds available. They will be affordable for you once the Affordable Care Act is fully implemented. It’s time for us as a nation to eliminate the stigma of mental illness, and we’re here to help you.

Good night, GOP.

– bob

Cruelty Proponents Saddened

A lovely centered picture of some refugees.

Friends,

California’s foie gras ban begins today. Some people who are in favor of the forced overfeeding of geese for their enjoyment are pledging to fight against the law. Creepy.

Thought experiment for the chefs: your grandmother was reincarnated as a goose.

How does your fight sound now?

I thought so.

– bob

It’s Time To Talk About Presidential Politics

A lovely centered picture that might lead people to think a thing that I hadn't intended.

Friends,

There are nitwits out there who are trying to spin the Supreme Court decision yesterday as a repudiation of the President’s position on health care. Those self-same nitwits choose to double down on the dumb and have decided that “the people” have lost their ability to choose whether or not to obtain healthcare insurance, which isn’t entirely true. You should read something about it to figure that part out, but here’s what has driven me to distraction today:

The Democrats, or at least the proponents of the health care law, seem to have lost the debate already. Everybody I’ve spoken to today thinks that jackbooted thugs will knock down their doors and force them to fill out papers and pay four figures to a government insurance plan. Or nearly everybody. The others think that the law itself has raised rates on existing plans. Neither of those things are true of course, but because the partisans on the left are so damn squishy about hurting people’s feelings in general, the argument is never made.

This is because arguments are so confrontational, right? We don’t want to make people, even those who are clearly wrong and arguably (there’s that word again. -ed) dumb as a bag of hair, feel bad. Everybody’s gotta be happy at the end of the day, don’t you think?

Well, no. They’re either misinformed or regurgitating a party line like greeks at a frat party proclaiming that Mickey’s Big Mouth is the best beer ever before letting loose their stomach contents all over your shoes.

Look, it was the Republicans who insisted that their insurance company donors be made whole by an individual mandate before they would sign on to the no pre-existing conditions and no lifetime caps provisions. So to all of you kids on the right who are losing your shit about this, I urge you to shut the entire fuck up. You broke the bill, so you bought it.

Health care costs have risen since the law was passed so insurers have raised their rates. These costs have risen because pharmaceutical companies, device manufacturers, malpractice insurers, and hospital holding companies among others are charging more now than they ever have. So by the ghost of Walter P. Chrysler, stop with the partisan bullshit. Also, because a very large majority of the people in this country are already insured, they won’t even notice a difference. The people who aren’t insured are very likely to work for or run small businesses who will either get waivers or can enroll in state-run pools for low cost coverage. This enlarged pool of the ensured is supposed to pay for the expansion of Medicaid (or MediCal, for those of us in this particularly golden state) to cover more people, including for the first time, single poor people.

I know that looking after the health of the poor offends a lot of people, particularly in this election year, but I would suggest that those people who are offended take a minute to think. I hear from the right wing partisans that taxes on the rich are bad because someday they might be rich. Let’s say that your fortunes go the other way. Let’s pretend that you end up being the exact opposite of rich. I, and people like me, would like to make sure that you’re fed, clothed, housed and that your medical needs are taken care of. Even though I strongly disagree with your magical economic thinking, I do actually care about your well being. I would very much like for you to indemnify yourself against stratospheric costs should you become ill, but if you can’t afford it, I think we can all get together and help you out until you get back on your feet. This, in a large and still prosperous country like ours, is a very small sacrifice for the greater good.

Because a large minority of the populace doesn’t get this, it becomes an election issue. To my mind, that’s an indictment on the people working for the President who are supposed to be crafting the message, not the issue itself. Yes, yes, yes, little Margaret stubbed her toe and the MRI bankrupted her family. That’s not as sad as a video of a shivering puppy backed by the saddest song Sarah McLachlan has ever sung, so it’s time to change the tune. To wit:

  • The health of Americans is a national imperative.
  • It is in everyone’s interest to ensure that the public is healthy.
  • The productivity of the American economy depends on a robust and healthy workforce.
  • American businesses lose billions of dollars a year due to sick days.
  • Our international business competitors rely on government health care as a subsidy to ensure a healthy workforce.
  • By shifting the burden away from business-supplied health care to individuals, we bolster our global competitiveness.
  • (I can’t believe I just wrote that. It’s true, but, yikes.)
  • Our political system will not currently allow for a single-payer health care system, so this is what you get.

Okay, scratch that last one, but we might be able turn the doubters around with the other points, right?

Right?

Yeah, I didn’t think so either.

– bob

Let’s Talk About Healthcare!

A lovely centered picture of blood!

Friends,

Well, let’s see here. The Supreme Court today upheld the individual mandate of the Affordable Care Act and there are a lot of people who tend towards the right-wing end of the political spectrum who are upset about it. What they don’t mention is that requiring people to buy private insurance was a sop to the right in the first place. Can’t have universal health care, you know.

Because, you know, healthy Americans are gross or something. So hooray for acceptance of deeply flawed but important legislation!

I feel better already.

– bob