A Jaunty Little Blog – Page 10 – No-wax, easy maintenance, bacteriostatic, and anti-slip.

February 28, 2014

Sometimes The Glass Is Mostly Empty

Friends,

A big Pacific storm is headed our way today and will bring us some rain. In some places, like my piney paradise, quite a bit of rain. Then this idiocy happened on Twitter (about 500 times from a series of like-minded nitwits)…

Storms soaking California and bringing snow, but they’re far from ending the drought http://t.co/BB0TvPo7Wq @RobHopwood @MyDesert

— Ian James (@TDSIanJames) February 28, 2014

Gee, really? The two inches of rain today aren’t going to turn our arid desert into a tropical rainforest? How about shut the hell up?

I blame how we’ve come to understand the word drought. Since we live in a mostly dry place, shouldn’t what we now think of as drought be considered normal? It seems like the times when moisture falls out of the sky are extraordinary, not the dry spells.

And before you raise your hand to mention climate change or poles shifting or coronal ejections, yes, it’s always been this way forever. Dry deserts are not new.

So let’s reset the measurement and get rid of the D word. That way most of us, perhaps with the exception of Ian, can enjoy the rainfall as it was intended. Spoilsport.

Your best pal in the whole world,

– bob

February 24, 2014

Freelance Crankypants

Friends,

On this particular Monday, the idea of responding to this Craigslist post is very appealing. Like asking an arsonist to come over and check your stove’s pilot light.

Tempting.

– bob

February 4, 2014

Birthday Holiday Season! Kickoff! Recap!

[note: the pictures that are supposed to be in this post, and help it make sense, are missing from the server. our crack team of researchers are looking into it and hope to find them very soon. -ed]

Friends,

These are some of the things that happened yesterday as I kicked off my 2014 Birthday Holiday Season. As you know, your own birthday holiday season begins when you receive the first gift, or cake, or card and ends when the last candle is extinguished. Using this time-tested formula for happy funtimes, a given birthday holiday season can last for months—as it should.

Let’s begin with the good news that the football team that I’ve been rooting for in a somewhat ironic way for the past few years actually won the Super Bowl. Why did I choose them as my team? Because they represent the largest geographical area of any major sports team in America that I can think of. Nice old ladies in Alaska are Seahawks fans. People from Idaho to Oregon are Seahawks fans. Becoming a fan of this team seemed logical.

As you know by now, yesterday also marked the passing of Philip Seymour Hoffman. Gifted and troubled, his death struck me in a weird way. I knew that he was a genius and labored under his addictions, but there was one thing that stood out on the day of my birth; he was only 46.

I’ve always found the coincidence of my birthday falling on Groundhog’s Day to be a bit unsettling, mostly because the ritual is pretty damn stupid. It warmed my heart then to find this picture of the new mayor of New York City dropping a groundhog during their own dumb ritual thing.

Here in drought-stricken Southern California, we haven’t seen much in the way of precipitation this winter. That’s bad news for a place like Idyllwild, that relies solely on moisture that falls right here for drinking water the rest of the year. I’m happy to report that we received a light dusting of snow last night and it is currently raining.

And that’s something to celebrate.

Your pal,

– bob

UPDATE: Punxsutawney Dr. Phil, from the Conan program.

January 30, 2014

The Photons Are Bouncing Off Of Things In The Atmosphere In A Pleasing Manner

a lovely centered picture of a stunning sunrise in sorta-hdr

Friends,

Some days you just want to press on through your commute as fast as you can. Year in and year out you look at the same landscape. You change the channel on the radio to mix it up. Have another sip of coffee to stay alert.

Today, on the eve of a minor precipitation event (which would be a grandiose way to hype the promise of some rainfall this afternoon) I found the sunrise so spectacular, that I had to share. My iPhone’s High Dynamic Range (HDR) setting only begins to capture the depth of the colors on display, but it wasn’t too far off.

We’ll see what today’s sunset offers. Maybe another reason to stop.

Your best pal in the whole wide world,

– bob

January 2, 2014

Happy Successful Orbit Day!

A lovely centered picture of an exhausted puppy dog.

Friends,

We’re starting the new year with a whimper, and why not? Someone unhelpfully decided that the Christmas and New Year holidays would be in the middle of the week, messing with everyone’s schedules including Mme. Puppy Dog’s. Of course we’ll regroup over the weekend and provide more content. More! Content!

That’s another way to say, “words.”

It’s going to be a fine new year, everybody.

Your pal,

– bob

UPDATE: Apparently, lots of people hate the term, “content,” so we’ll be using “words” from now on. “Words” and “pictures” and some “video” and some “audio.”

December 13, 2013

Absolutely Everybody Is Talking About It!

Friends,

Yesterday, the fine folks at the South Coast Air Quality Management District (an obviously overwrought name designed to create the too cute by half acronym, SCAQMD) issued a No-Burn Notice for Orange, San Bernardino and Riverside Counties due to anticipated high levels of particulates in the air. This means that you’ll need to put out the tire inferno still blazing in your backyard (no, seriously, you should get right on that), but more importantly, it means that the fireplaces and wood stoves heating a touch under a third of California homes must stay cold this evening. You’ll notice that our gal, The Idyllwild Weather Clam says that it’s 27° outside right now, but overnight lows tonight are predicted to be at or a little above freezing. In other words, despite this steep warming trend, it’s going to be pretty chilly tonight and for a lot of people, particularly in the mountain communities, a fireplace may be the only source of heat in their homes.

I’m lucky in that even though my furnace has been broken for a couple years, I have several different sources of heat for my house. They’re inadequate on their own, but when combined can make the Damp Dog Lodge a pretty cozy place.

The notice went up on Facebook and my neighbors lost their minds trying to figure out how they’ll stay warm tonight. If you simply went to http://www.aqmd.gov/ and put in the ZIP code of an affected region, or use Idyllwild’s 92549, you’ll see that burning is banned today. If you read further down into the press release linked on that page, you’ll see that residents living 3,000-feet above sea level or higher, like our friends in my mile-high burg, are exempt from the order. You’ll see lots of exceptions, some economic, some born of necessity, so why did people freak out? Was it because their way of life was threatened by an arbitrary governmental agency but they didn’t want to take the time to do simple research, like clicking a link, on exactly how the order might affect them personally?

Maybe!

Your pal,

– bob

November 16, 2013

Goodbye, Blogger

So long, weirdos.

Friends,

It’s been a very long time and we’ve had a lot of laughs, but it’s time to finally bid the Jaunty Little Blog at Blogger farewell. Their interface isn’t playing nice with the tools I use every day, Google has made it very clear in revisions to their terms of service that content I post can be sold by them however they see fit, and maintaining two sites has been a real impediment to my willingness to post new content. Something had to give and Google has made the decision for me. The nice people at Squarespace, on the other hand, have been generous with their support (maybe because I’m paying them a nominal fee) and their tools work all the time, unlike the advertising behemoth that Google has become.

I’ll miss the old site a little only due to nostalgia, but there’s more cool stuff to come at therieau.com, so please take the time and follow me over there. You won’t necessarily be glad you did, but you’ll be sad if you don’t.

Good night Blogger.

Your best pal in the entire world,

– bob

October 18, 2013

Octobernationals

That’s Exciting!

Friends,

I was driving home this sunny and comfortable afternoon with the windows rolled down and was passed by a rough looking Mercury Villager minivan. A minivan held together with duct tape and drywall screws. A minivan that smelled like taco grease and farts.

I changed lanes and pulled up alongside at the red light when I caught the driver’s eye. He grimaced a little, his eyes narrowed, and he started revving the bag of broken hammers under his imaginary race car’s hood. So this was going to be a race then?

Not sure I want to know what I would have received for winning. Fare thee well, fart van man. Fare thee well.

Your pal,

– bob

October 12, 2013

Well, That Settles It

Friends,

Remember earlier when we had a little discussion about Google losing interest in Blogger? It turns out that they’re very interested, for reasons that I’m not very interested in.

Google revealed its shared endorsements scheme in a change to its terms of service. The updates state that going forward, friends, family, “and others” may see a user’s Google profile name, photo, and any endorsement they’ve created for a company alongside ads for that company. For instance, if Jon Brodkin gave the new Nickelback album 5 stars and said in a review that the band is “the voice of our generation,” the next time someone searches for that album, Brodkin’s rating and praise could appear alongside a sponsored placement.

Time to hold a pillow over the mirror on Blogger until it stops squirming.

Good night, Blogger site. Please adjust your bookmarks accordingly.

Your best pal,

– bob

October 11, 2013

Difficulties, Technical and Otherwise

Friends,

Quite a lot has transpired since the last post in mid-September. Well, it’s the last post that you can see. There are a bunch of posts hiding in a tin, buried in the basement of this blog that we can never talk about if I wish to remain employed. Sort of screedy, kinda stabby. The less said about them, the better.

What I do know is that a bunch of things just aren’t working right now. The webcam is failing to upload due to a server configuration issue (bad certificate?) so the last picture you see is from the morning before the earliest snowfall I can remember. No snow pictures for you, I’m afraid. There are plenty on the internet though, just do a search. You’ll be okay.

Also, for some damn reason, The Idyllwild Weather Clam is unable to update her spot on the Blogger clone of this site. Maybe it’s time to finally pack it in over there and redirect to Squarespace. They were great when we started this hot mess, but it seems that functionality is slowly falling away. Maybe Google’s losing interest in Blogger. That wouldn’t be surprising.

More later today…

– bob

September 20, 2013

New Feature: The Destruction of Time!

My office desk.

View of my office featuring state of the art high tech equipment.

Friends,

My work schedule has been changed to what amounts to a trip to the Central time zone and back again every week, or starting and ending Daylight Savings Time twice a week. This is the first week of this and if I don’t get another cup of coffee in me very soon, there’s a very real risk that I’ll fall asleep at my desk and my head will land on the red button.

Did you hear me? The RED BUTTON, PEOPLE!

– bob

September 11, 2013

Never Forget To Remember

Friends,

Remember when terrorists hijacked some airplanes in the United States on 11th September, 2001 precipitating a series of tragic events that killed a bunch of people? Then you’ll recall that the government overreacted and made air travel more difficult for everyone while also sending a lot of kids to war to punish the country where the masterminds of the terrorist attack were supposed to be hiding. Then the government decided that they should inspect everyone’s communications everywhere at all times and explain that constitutional overreach by saying that they’re listening for the next terror threat, but if anybody talks about the surveillance program they need to go to jail? Remember when that happened?

Dear readers, I hope both of you will agree that the steps the government has taken to “keep us safe” after the gut wrenching events twelve years ago dishonors those who perished on that day. Now, as the president contemplates launching a strike on yet another bad actor in the Middle East, to punish Syrian bad behavior, even the generals are hoping to avoid another fight.

Today has been designated by Congress as a national day of service. One patriotic thing you might consider doing today would be to write a letter to your representative airing your carefully considered opinion on the matters of war, punishment, surveillance and national security.

But please take your shoes off first and put them in the bin.

Your pal,

– bob

September 10, 2013

I Will Stand On My Head

Friends,

I won’t actually stand on my head, but the late Cal Worthington, who passed yesterday at the ripe old age of 92 while watching football, certainly would have in his prime. He had dealerships up and down the west coast, and a jingle turned earworm that infected our little minds almost as much as Indio’s “Hub of the Valley” and 30-second descriptions of the travails of the Wacky Wicker Workers. His on-air enthusiasm will be missed, but I suspect that we’ve moved on from his brand of aw shucks hucksterism.

Now the most effective marketing is nuanced. The best campaigns, they will explain in webinars and marketing executive mixers, is more subtle and appeals to the buying public’s deepest wants and desires.

The difference between the honesty of Cal Worthington’s pitch and today’s deep mental massage marketers is that the new guys will gladly stand on your head to make a better deal.

Your pal,

– bob

September 9, 2013

A Note From The Editor

Artist’s representation. Not to scale.

Friends,

I’ve been a bit lax in keeping up with the demands of work, home, and this fine journal of nonsense and paranoid delusions. I know it, you know it, and my editor certainly knows it. Here’s his note describing his displeasure with the current state of affairs…

(listen. i’ve just about had it up to here with you and your inability to get any sort of quality output done lately. i took a big pay cut when i signed on here ten years ago, because i saw real promise. now it’s pieces full of phony outrage, photo posts and something about deer? why don’t you call me when you wake up and start writing the stuff that people used to come for, even though i don’t remember what that was. – ed)

Well, there you have it. A well-deserved upbraiding from the editor. Guess I should do something about it.

Your pal,

– bob

P.S. Coming up later today, a financial incentive for me to unplug my dryer and what it means for smart meters! Exciting conspiracy therories!