A Jaunty Little Blog – Page 11 – No-wax, easy maintenance, bacteriostatic, and anti-slip.

August 20, 2013

Vengeance Of The Dandies

Friends,

Sometimes people can come as close to missing the forest for the trees as one possibly might without being mauled by a bear. We have new neighbors up here in Fern Valley Corners, a grand new addition to the lodging inventory of available beds in town, and I attended their open house last weekend.

Nice folks, and justifiably proud of their vision and the craftsmanship they’ve put in to realize that dream. Last weekend also featured a concert that was attended by the monied class to benefit a local private high school. Once the concert was over, the wine and cheese crew headed over to the open house for free wine and no cheese.

I just walked around the corner and up the grand driveway to the grand entry, but noted that nobody was looking at the building. All cameras were trained on deer grazing on manzanita berries just past the parking circle. A magnificent bit of nature nearly close enough to touch. Breathtaking.

But one polo shirted, tennis shorted, sexagenarian in the group decided that this reasonably rare collision between the wild and the wide-eyed was boring. He walked up to the deer, then turned on his heels to check out the blue Jaguar.

Jaded? Maybe a little!

Your pal,

– bob

August 6, 2013

Wait! Come back!

A lovely centered picture of a girly dog spying something very interesting and smelly.

Friends,

I’ve hit my head very hard this evening on the kitchen cabinetry and I’ve surely earned a concussion for the effort. There’s every reason to believe that I’ll be fine, but I’m a little worried that the dizziness and confusion I’m experiencing at the moment signal something much more than a little bump on the noggin.

But that’s boring, so let’s get on with a little housekeeping!

Since I last uploaded something here over a month ago, we’ve had two fire scares. One that prompted the mobilization of over three thousand men and women to beat down the furious blaze that eventually consumed over 27,000 acres, and a smaller one today that was put out fairly quickly through our own corps and the quick attention of neighbors in Fern Valley. In the words of internationally noted photographer Jenny Kirchner on Facebook, “Yard abatement is important.” Indeed it is.

I don’t really have a headache exactly. Truth is, my head feels mostly okay. There’s going to be a bump for sure, but the biggest worry is that I don’t really have a good idea where I am right now. Well, never mind that. On with it…

During the Mountain Fire, I evacuated myself, papers, photographs, and Mme. Puppy Dog to the desert. From our emergency evacuation center in Cathedral City (whose city council has never met a boondoggle it wouldn’t agree to fund in full), we could watch the flames charging along the ridge towards the Palm Springs Aerial Tramway’s Mountain Station. Horrifying. I took pictures, but they’re kind of terrible camera phone shots not worth posting. This one is nicer.

Let’s see, what else happened? I got a new boss at the Far Eastern Outpost of a charity from out west somewhere in a city with a mayor. You know, that mayor. Mayor Headlock, they’re calling him. “Mayor Fingers” is creepier, so I’ll stick with that, since all signs point to him being really creepy.

Sorry, a little confused at the moment. I should get back on topic. Crickets are interesting, aren’t they? 78 degrees in the house, shouldn’t be sweating. Sweating might be bad.

I started installing a new french door on the weekend before guests were to arrive a couple weekends ago. Here’s a tip, all of the locksets you can buy at the hardware store have a defined offset. The offset is the distance between the edge of the door and the center of the lock and most are between 2 3/8 and 2 5/8-inches. You can get shorter deadbolts if you trim down the side of your door to be a lot narrower, but they’re blindingly expensive. You are hereby warned.

Very sleepy all of the sudden. Goodnight everyone.

Your pal,

– bob

July 18, 2013

Run!

This was just the beginning of our troubles.

Friends,

You may have heard that we’re having a little hubbub up here. Due to an inconvenience we like to call the Mountain Fire, encroaching on our pristine and very piney paradise, authorities asked everyone to evacuate last evening.

Reflecting back, maybe “ask” is the wrong word.

I have found shelter at a location very near the Festival of Dirt where I could see flames running up to the ridgeline this morning. Not very comforting at all.

I’ll try to keep you posted here as events unfold, but for more up-to-date news, I’m sharing other people’s posts on Facebook. Maps, photos, pessimism, it’s all there!

Stay safe.

Your pal,

– bob

July 14, 2013

Ain’t That Something?

A lovely centered picture of a lemon lily.

Friends,

We’re holding a festival in this piney paradise to celebrate a spindly and delicate flower that had gone nearly extinct some years ago. Bluegrass bands play, lectures are held and the town is full of people. The organizers even set up a webcam allowing people from all over the world the pleasure of watching a plant grow.

You could say that this is a triumph of marketing, but really it’s about a large group of people in town getting together and doing a thing. It’s still about a weedy little flower, but now it’s a real festival.

Now, about that chamber of commerce…

Your pal,

– bob

June 6, 2013

Great Minds

TWA lounge photo from Shorpy!

Friends,

Here’s a photo of the TWA lounge at Idlewild Airport taken sometime in 1964. Looks sort of like the departure lounge at the Idyllwild International Airport, without the pine tongue and groove panelling, of course.

And the squirrels scampering around.

– bob

May 1, 2013

Super. Market.

Friends,

I went to a supermarket yesterday to stock up on a couple things, like a loaf of bread and a package of giant tortillas. I also picked up a package of seasoned soy stuff to toss into a burrito and a box of unsweetened almond milk, which is nice in a bowl of cereal, but not much else that I’m aware of.

The light was on above an empty checkstand, but an impossibly thin girl in her 20s with a blotchy grayish-greenish-brownish complexion wearing a sweater (108° outside, btw) shuffled into position to run the register. Then, in an apparent rush to get through her lines, she spoke:

hello how are you doing today thank you for shopping at [market] did you find everything you were looking for?

“Um, sure. I think I found everything okay. How are you today?”

i’m fine thanks for asking.

She then started noticing, about halfway through scanning my items, exactly what she was scanning…

oh you don’t eat meat? seriously? i like meat. i like it a lot. like steaks. like a rib eye steak. they’re really good.

“No,” I replied. “I don’t eat meat.”

not at all? because meat’s really good. i like it.

“Nope. Not at all. Well anyway, I hope you have a good day.”

do you have a [market] club card?

We all play our parts.

– bob

April 13, 2013

RIP Jonathan Winters

Friends,

He hadn’t been well for quite a while, but his passing is still a huge loss. I’ll miss his screwy nonsense. When you’re done with the video above, watch this fishing bit from Jack Paar’s Tonight Show, then watch him in It’s A Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World.

Your pal,

– bob

April 10, 2013

A Wretched Hive of Scum and Villany

Friends,

Banjo the dog was tied to train tracks by a fellow in Mecca, CA suffering from dementia according to this article in Riverside County’s newspaper of record. He was saved by an alert train engineer, but what lessons can be learned here?

Easy. Living in Mecca will make you a little daft. Obviously.

Your pal,

– bob

March 26, 2013

It’s Time To Talk About A Few Things

Friends,

I’ve been neglecting this fine project lately in favor of upheaval, failed attempts at fighting off illness, and other work to keep this ship of Damp Dog Lodgeness afloat. This barren month or so has been unflinchingly gooey, damp and cold. Hardly the stuff that these entertainments are made of.

Spring, then, seems like just the right time to get back to a regular schedule of writing, so I will.

Until then, you could always follow me on Twitter. Right?

Your pal,

– bob

February 5, 2013

Does Your Dog Bite?

A lovely centered picture of a differently-abled dog.

Well, technically, no.

– bob

February 3, 2013

It’s Time To Talk To Your Kids About The Second of February

Friends,

When you think of the second day of February, you may automatically think about rodents. Given the popularity of the 1993 Bill Murray documentary Groundhog Day, featuring a rodent, you could be forgiven this popular notion.

However, concentrating on a common ground marmot, woodchuck, land beaver or whistle pig would tend to take our focus off of what’s really important—that it’s the start of the birthday holiday season. Whose birthdays? I’m glad you asked.

The late Stan Getz was born on the second of February, as were Farrah Fawcett, Christie Brinkley, Brent Spiner and Shakira, as you know. In addition to these luminaries, you’ll be excited to know that February second also my birthday.

I can’t begin to tell you how little I care about the comings and goings of a marmot on this day. In fact, I’m much more excited that it’s World Wetlands Day, if I’m to be honest.

So have another slice of cake…

…or maybe light up another cigar…

…and take a moment to remember the real reason for the season.

Your best pal in the whole world,

– bob

January 23, 2013

It’s Time To Think About Disappointment

Friends,

If you’ve been following this hot mess for any length of time (and there may be some new readers who haven’t taken in enough to really be hip to the whole deal, but more on that in a teensy bit), then you may know that I’ve been waiting for a phone call from some people. People? Why yes, I applied for a job some months ago and I sat down for a group interview. It went okay, I thought. All four of us seemed to get along well and my skills lined up nicely with their requirements.

I followed up with a couple emails. One every two or three weeks, and it’s hard to know if they seemed needy or stalkery or pleading, but they went out and all but three went unanswered. The first two to the hiring manager and the last one to another of the interviewers. The first reply was nice enough and sort of encouraging with its “I hope all is well with you and look forward to speaking to you soon.” The last one finished up with, “I hope all is well,” but the bit at the beginning was crushing…

“Hi Bob,

Thank you for your message. We had several very qualified candidates (you being one of them) and we have filled the position.”

This was not the result I was hoping for.

Three months in, dreaming up marketing plans, plotting bold new strategies, imagining a world where I don’t have to get up at four o’clock in the morning to risk a commute that makes sane people cringe in horror, and it all went away. Poof. Nine point Verdana managing to stab me in the non-shriveled, non-blackened part of my heart.

“I hope all is well.”

Me too, madam. Me too.

Your pal,

– bob

UPDATE: Here’s a story from the paper of record on the lady who eventually got the nod. I guess you could call this a safe choice, but it’s worth noting that her previous business doesn’t seem to have had a website (source: Google, Internet Archive), so maybe it’s all about writing press releases? I’m clearly missing something here.