Tag: cars

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Village Elders Arrange Marriage, Shoot Happy Couple

Good morning, happy commuters;

This morning before a profoundly important election, we have news that the feds won’t be helping to pay for the merger of GM and Chrysler as GM CEO Rick “The Rick” Wagoner had hoped. The deal may still go through since Chrysler owners Cerberus Capital Management wants out (link to google cache. newsweek site is borked. – ed) and GM thinks that Chrysler has $11 billion still sitting around and would like to spend it (that’s rich. will the funds be doled out by the easter bunny? – ed You know, when you make fun of Chrysler, you make Lido cry.)

What does all of this mean to you, dear reader? Well, if nobody’s open to catch this Hail Mary pass, these two companies are poised to file for bankruptcy sooner rather than later. Big deal? How about the (federal) Pension Benefit Guarantee Corporation absorbing all of the pension obligations of both GM and Chrysler? That’s you and me footing the bill for all of the goodies that the UAW has fought so hard for. How about paying unemployment benefits to tens of thousands of auto workers and their suppliers and the dealers? You can see where this is going…

I understand not wanting to give taxpayer money to Cerberus. They’re a private equity firm and they should have to eat the loss of the $7 billion they paid Daimler to take over Chrysler. Then what? Nobody buys them, they file for dissolution and we’re left holding the bag? That doesn’t sound like a great option in the middle of a recession. Of course, GM’s gonna kill them off eventually as well, it’ll just take longer! Hooray!

How’re you feeling about the Lifetime Powertrain Warranty on your Dodge pickup now?

– bob

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A Big Bag Of Stupid

Pals,

This story in USA Today about a pending GM merger with Chrysler has stinky written all over it. In fact, Peter De Lorenzo over at Autoextremist.com covered this very thing last week. Even in his opening, Mr. De Lorenzo gets to the heart of the matter:

The swirling maelstrom of conjecture, rumor and fabrication that’s enveloping the Motor City (aka The Land of Not Good) right now concerning GM and Chrysler has spun completely out of control. So much has been said by so many people who know so little about what’s going on, that it’s truly breathtaking to contemplate. As a matter of fact, I have never seen anything like it in all my years in this business.

This fairly sums up the USAT piece, but there’s a little nugget that should leave Grosse Pointe psychiatrists confident that they’ll make their next yacht payments…

Ford Motor is seeking to sell all or part of its stake in Japan’s Mazda to a group of Japanese companies. The report appeared in the Japanese press last week and was confirmed by two people who have been briefed on the proposal but said they could not comment on the record.

Ford’s sale of Mazda is so obvious that it doesn’t even merit mention. I mean, why would they need a small car platform partner or economical four cylinder engine development in this economic climate? That’s just crazy talk!

Talk about Not Good…

– bob

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Happy Edsel Day!

Dear Citrus Lovers,

Today marks the anniversary of the launch of the Edsel brand in 1957.

Edsel Ranger shot at some sidewalk car show somewhere...
It’s also the day that the Republican nominee for president gives his acceptance speech at the convention.

Just sayin’.

– bob

UPDATE: By the way, I found Sarah Palin’s speech last night stunning. I caught some of the non-factual facts that were sprinkled throughout, but if you’re her “opponent” in this race, I think you might have some reason to worry.


The gloves are most certainly off now, aren’t they?

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Separated At Birth

Friends,

Yesterday’s monsoonal downpour highlighted (grim, gray, cloud-covered light. – ed Nice flourish.) a couple observations that should’ve been obvious.

Not actual car. Not actual size. Not actual road.
The first was that if it rains hard enough, there will be rain inside the car as well as out. I turned on the windshield wipers as high as they would go until I realized that rain was coming in nearly horizontally from the side window. The second is that my daily commute is profoundly dangerous and was made more so by the mudslides and the grapefruit-sized rocks in the roadway. My traveling companions and I beat the CalTrans workers and their front-end loaders to the worst spots yesterday. Their trucks rolled over the mud floes like just another ’73 Matador in the Monster Truck Jam of life. My Miniature Racecar™ flew over the jump (!) in a terrible Japanese translation of The Dukes of Hazard.

A little polishing compound and that front spoiler will be good as new…

– bob

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Tin Ear Alert: Gas Taxes Too Low!

Um, right.

It seems that Americans have been cutting back on fuel consumption, which is fantastic. We’ll cut back on unburned hydrocarbons entering the atmosphere, send less money to foreign powers that we don’t particularly agree with, what could go wrong? I’ll tell you, bub. Sure, you’re pretty smug about that electric car of yours, but what about the crumbling bridges!

That’s right. We’re paying fewer taxes into the highway transportation fund because we’re buying less fuel. Apparently, that’s bad. The solution bandied about by the usual suspects is that, clearly, the gas tax must rise to compensate for the shortfall. We’re using less gas because it’s too expensive, so the solution is to make it more expensive. The president, meanwhile, thinks we should just outsource the problem and sell the highways to private companies so that they can collect tolls. In an unconfirmed story by an unnamed official, the administration is also considering hiring trolls to live under bridges and ask drivers three questions before they may cross. If this fleecing continues, there may be a lot of takers for the new Federal Onsite Highway Overpass Metering Engineer jobs.

– bob

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Stopping On A Dime And Giving Change

Well my dear friends,

The transition of the fleet is complete, with the Mighty Dakota now parked in front of one of the local Mexican restaurants, and the first dump run in the Jeepster under my belt. I’ve learned some things. First, that when you see a vehicle you used to own sitting in a place other than your driveway, it’ll take a long time to remember it’s not stolen. Second, what is the etiquette for delivering bits found while cleaning the garage from said not-stolen pickup to the new owners? Will a quick phone call do or should I just pop in? By the way, does just popping in make me a stalker?

Lastly (for now), should all four of the Jeepster’s brakes work, or is the one okay?

– bob

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Will You Take Cash?

I asked if the buyer would be able to pay with a cashier’s check or money order. He balked and said, “will you take cash? Is that okay?”

How many bugs had to die for this?
Yeah, that’ll be fine. Thanks for asking!

– bob

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Um, Is This A Problem?

Friends,

My craptastic ad selling The Mighty Dakota hasn’t really drummed up a lot of business around here. Not really inspiring…

1996 Dodge Dakota, standard cab,
4 cyl., 5 speed, tool box and bedliner incl.
$2,000, [phone number redacted].

Suggestions when I redo the wording?

– bob

DISCLOSURE: I missed the deadline for last week’s paper and had to beg to get this rubbish in. Let’s pump this up, shall we?

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Don’t Stuff The Little Toy Racing Car

Friends,

My new car didn’t come with a radio. In this case it’s fine since the dealer took some money off the price and I turned around and called up my dear personal friends at Crutchfield on the internets and spent that money on a new stereo. While I’ve been waiting for the shipment to arrive (damned UPS Ground…), I’ve been enjoying the engine sounds, the occasional squealing tire, and general car noises but that’s starting to get old. I needed something new to while away the time during my commute. Something to repeat over and over, like a mantra.

Amazingly enough, I managed to think of one while late braking into a decreasing radius left sweep at about 20 MPH over the speed recommended by four out of five dentists. Staring at the rocks, it suddenly occurred to me…

– bob

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Okay, So Here’s What Happened…

Friends,

Miata, me bought. What am I driving right now? A rented Ford Focus sedan with an automatic. That’s the short version. Am I pleased? Not even a little. Here’s the long version:

File photo not of my real car.I found the Mazda (file photo, left. not actual car what me bought.) on Autotrader.com at a dealer in Escondido for a very reasonable price. Maybe too reasonable as it turns out. I’ve been jetting about in the thing and have been thrilled with how tight it turns in. How it holds corners. The growl and slight rasp on acceleration. Oh, wait, acceleration.

On the way home driving up the hill this afternoon, every stab at the throttle was met with that growl, but no forward progress. The clutch had given up for the most part, but I nursed it past the lower vista point. Then I turned out to let somebody by and just couldn’t get started again uphill—only down. Down to the closest Mazda dealership. Good thing too, since the car was reluctant to go forward even on the flat.

They’re going to replace the clutch, maybe tomorrow, maybe Thursday. The tiny little clutch in my toy car must be easy to replace. Just move the rubber bands to one side and consult the Hello Kitty Service Manual. Seriously, how hard could it be? Too hard for the selling dealer who checked out the car represented as “without obvious flaws” to me apparently.

The next time I say (which I actually did) “what could possibly go wrong?” please proceed with the dope slap. I certainly deserve it.

– bob

UPDATE: The clutch is done and still slips when it’s hot. Just a little, but slipping is not good. The selling dealer is going to kick in half of the kilodollar price tag, so that’s nice. The repair shop broke stuff though, so I guess I’ll take a trip back there this week. Such fun you should never have.

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Sometimes A Miata Is Simply A Miata

a fine left-justified pictureFriends,

Yes, gas prices are pretty outrageous, but I’ve been forced to step back a little…

In my little piney paradise at this moment (who knows what’ll happen tomorrow), a gallon of regular unleaded petrol goes for $4.89. I don’t buy gas up here. I buy gas down in the desert, where I work, and filled up the Mighty Dakota with $4.43 gas. You know, because it’s much cheaper.

I’ve been warned off buying a used British Racing Green Mazda Miata because it’s either too girly or actually built for gay men. (Cripes, am I gonna do this? Okay, here goes…) I’m not really sure about the characterization. I think the image the car conveys swings both ways. (thank you! I’ll be here all week!)

But let’s do the math with an extreme example. Presume the Miata gets an optimistic 28 MPG. The Jeep Grand Livingroom gets a meager 17 MPG. I drive 100 miles every day and we’ll presume $4.50 per gallon. When will buying a $9,000 used car make financial sense? Anybody? Bueller?

I’m thinking not for decades. And that whole scenario presumes that I’ll continue the desert commute throughout that time. That is not assured.

The car is really supposed to be fun to drive though. Thoughts?

– bob

UPDATE: Here’s a number—three and a third. That’s how many years it takes, given the above numbers, for the used Miata to pay for itself. Maybe the idea isn’t so crazy after all…

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Best Wishes!

Friends,

First, I’d like to extend a warm welcome from this bitter nation, clinging as we do to our guns and religion, to Pope Benedict XVI. Happy birthday, Benny! Next, to the n00b in the blue Honda Civic who decided (on his own, with no help from me) to make his own turnout yesterday and remodel the right side of his car using a mountain, sorry about that (and “uh oh, better go to Maaco”). And finally to my sister who is not at all happy with me for skipping her daughter’s birthday, you were much better off. Trust me on this. Unless you wanted to watch me take a nap, which is pretty exciting.

So, happy Wednesday, everybody!

– bob

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Go For A Twisty Drive

Friends,

Jalopnik has a review up of the new WRX (which I find hideous) by Wes Siler (who seems to be new to the site) that includes a nice drive description of my daily drive. It’s a good read and worth your time, but the pictures are lively as well. Here’s one of those pictures (that’s nowhere near the mountain)…

A picture not in the mountains.

Grant Ray’s photography is lovely, but no shots of The Hill. Sadly.

Is there a nice looking car extant that can do what the WRX can do? Audi, I guess, if you’re talking about all wheel drive. MazdaSpeed 6 as well, if you want a sedan. And a turbo. How about something under $30k with over 25 MPG? Yeah, I can’t think of one either.

Your best pal ever in the whole wide world,

– bob