Hey there contestants!
Remember the Name This Cabin contest? We had a winner, but the prize has yet to be delivered. Yes, it’s a travesty, but I haven’t designed the sign yet. Fascinating, you say. Well, not really, but can you believe that our publisher Mr. Jaunty is holding yet another contest even though the previous prize hasn’t gone out? What audacity.
Why have a contest? It’s fun, that’s why. Here’s the story, and it’s a sad one. My lovely writing partner and her husband are bugging out of Northern San Diego County for Texas. They’re selling their house and their realtor can’t quite describe it. I’ve seen it and the place defies the stock copy. The house came out of the tract plan book. Seventies hacienda on the medium-sized plan lot. That’d be fine, but with the extensive modifications, including a nutso koi pond, it’s hard to pin down.
Sure, they’d like to sell, but it’s your job to write about the most unappealing house ever. It could be your Mom and Dad’s place. It could be something on teevee. The subject of your pesto-fueled nightmares. I’ll start…
Brutal and severe 450 sq. ft. Bauhaus-inspired flat with strong Norwegian influence. All mod cons—except for heat. Nearly windowless, fresh dark grey paint, with views of neighbor’s roof. Spacious kitchen with new charcoal concrete countertops and all new steel and brushed aluminum appliances. Cabinets refaced in cast iron and glass shards for dramatic and dangerous effect that would make Leni Riefenstahl cry.
Throw your best/worst effort into the comments before the end of July. I’ll take all of the submissions and create one of those newfangled Blogger polls so you all can select the winner. What do you win? Mr. Jaunty has authorized me to award a $37 Amazon gift certificate. How about that! Tell your friends!
Your pal,
bob
P.S. Anonymous commenters might have a hard time winning, since it’ll be hard to know who they are. Don’t put a lot of personal information in there, but let us know who you are to identify your entry. Good luck!
