Liveblogging The Democratic Debate…

Who am I kidding? Boring.

How about some crappy cellphone pictures instead? Here’s a nice shot from a few weeks ago of the sun setting over my neighbor’s house…

sunrise, sunset, sunrise, sunset
As you know, the dogs hate the chilly weather up here. Not surprising, since my yard is essentially their playground AND bathroom. Here’s that girly dog waiting for me to make the snow stop falling…

oh gawd, how I hate you
And from the big fat charity place preparing for a fundraising event, a labeled box…

cylindrical flora containers
Care to guess what was stored in that box? Makes the “it’s it’s its” battle seem petty, doesn’t it?

Your best pal ever,

– bob

P.S. Commenter inky, send me an email with the subject “Clam!” about your transportation problems. It’ll be fun!

Tuesday Is The New Monday

Friends,

Thank you for your indulgence over the long holiday weekend. I took a trip to America’s Finest Mediocre Ramshackle Urgently Requiring Remediation Spy Satellite Landing Site of a City to pick up various puppy dogs and to see a certain cute girl. You’ll be pleased to know that all of those creatures, furry and otherwise, are doing well.

This is being posted fairly early in the morning. 3:30 rolled around this morning and seemed like a perfectly reasonable time to get started. All of the things I really need to take care of today need to happen before 8:00, so the early start should help. By the way, is there such a thing as higher high beams? The Mighty Dakota’s less than dazzling displays of illumination left a lot to be desired this morning. That, or it was really freaking dark.

– bob

What Time Is It?: Late April Edition

Friends!

This gloable whirming thing is really getting me down. I’ve done everything—burning raw coal (from the open pit I’ve started digging in the backyard), dragging out all the old aerosol cans from the garage and taped down the nozzles, fed the dogs beans and kielbasa (a phenomenally bad idea, btw)—everything I could think of to pump more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. No luck. It’s still chilly up here.

What does a fella have to do?

Three inches of snow predicted tomorrow night. Spring, yeah sure.

Your pal,

bob

Easter Weekend Pictures Of Things

Friends,

Mister and Missus puppy dog started the weekend staring. Staring at flowers…

…staring at your humble photographer…

So when we trundled down to the desert, they were locked in the backyard at the parents’ house and I took my Dad down to the car show (on his suggestion). Here are some pictures of that…

For instance, here’s a picture of Dad not even remotely considering getting himself a motorcycle.

And here’s a shot of a Jowett Jupiter in a state where you can observe where motor oil is likely to puke out (read: everywhere. It’s British.)

How about the nicest flame paint ever? Can anyone say “Jeepster?”


By the way. Exactly one black man showed up and he brought the stereotypical Cadillac low rider, replete with trunk-filling battery pack, hydraulics, and fake convertible vinyl top. Does anyone even do this anymore?

Neat pinstripes. Um, Jeepster?

Other neat stuff…


The owner of this Corvette has his (her?) priorities. The car was falling apart in front of us, but the elaborate eagle mural on the hood, the tape stripes on the engine accessories (!), and the general yellow spray paint theme should look nice on the back of the tow truck.


Here though is the shamble-rific rat rod. Plywood floor AND firewall! The owner is still alive, so make your own judgements.

Your pal,

bob

What Is It, Girl?

I don’t know which is more disturbing, that tainted moist pet food is killing dogs and cats, or that a company called Menu Foods Income Fund actually makes IAMS, Eukanuba, Nutro and almost every other brand. Here’s a little something from Nutro’s copywriters that rings a little hollow today:

The MAX brand philosophy is simple. We constantly strive to provide better ingredients and better nutrition for better health at an affordable price. Every MAX product is 100% natural. We use only high-quality ingredients. No chicken by-products, no ground yellow corn.

Who’s this “we”?

– bob

An Open Letter

Mister and Missus Dog have been returned to warmer climes to celebrate the new year. Once again I’d become used to them greeting me in the afternoon, tromping about with them, irrational exuberance, so dropping them off was no fun. I miss them already.

The girlie dog left me a little note regarding the picture post from the other day. I guess she’s feeling a little left out.

DEAR BIG MONKEY,
UR KIND OF MEEN. YOO PUT PITURS OF DUM DOG ON INNERNET – A BUNCH OF THEM! NO PIKTURS UV ME THO. THATS NOT KOOL. UR A JERK. IM BETER LOOKING THAN DUM DOG AND HES DUM ANYWAY PECUZ HE RUNZ IN THE FROZ RAIN BUT IM NEAR THE FIRES AND WAHRM. HES DUM. THANX FOR CHIKEN TREETS. NOW PUT MY PTURS ON THE INNERNET.
– WAY KYOOTER DOG


Sure, no problem. My pleasure.

Happy New Year!

Your pal,

bob

Mr. Dog

Hey Holiday-Makers!

Here’s the promised context-free picture post, and guess which pictures turned out the best? Those with Mister Dog in them. Here’s my end of year adventure summed up with (mostly) puppy photos:






So there you go. Where’s 2007?

Your pal,

bob

It Crunches Under Foot

Dear Heavy Sock Wearers,

You may have noticed a severe lack of posts over the last few days, maybe even a week. It wasn’t for lack of trying, or even lack of things to report on—there are bits of new posts sitting on no fewer than four computers—but they were missing a vital ingredient, pictures. In what is turning into an annual event, I’m going to need to purchase a new set of rechargeable batteries for my middle-aged Canon PowerShot. As it stands now, I get five shots, then no power. The end. (you could rehabilitate those batteries like this guy did. – ed Oh, that sounds like a great idea, except for the explosion part.)

The other lame-ass excuse involves weather (when doesn’t it? – ed) and the coldness therein. 20° this morning, five inches of snow, ice on the mountain roads, AND 50 MPH winds! I’m finding it harder and harder to keep up with the wood demand in the fireplace. Mr. and Mrs. Pup are happy to encourage my stoking the fire, but it doesn’t leave too much time for anything else, like writing (it didn’t seem to bother jack london. -ed Except he died at 40.).

I actually have a few pictures on the camera that I’ll present in a nearly context-free post later today. If you’re lucky, I may actually post them in chronological order this time. Wouldn’t that be a surprise!

Your pal,

bob

P.S. My vivacious writing partner has come down with something relatively brutal, so The Question is out of the question for a while. Both of our readers will be happy to know that we’ll be back up and running some time in 2007.

Global Coldening Update

Icy.

That asphalt isn’t supposed to be white, is it? Not here in Southern California. The snow from Sunday morning stuck all day, all night, and all of today. The temps never got above thirty degrees, which is pretty odd.

The timing is fantastic for the dogs, who aren’t particularly enjoying Winter In The Pines. Like a ticking time bomb, the girly dog refuses to go out in that freezing nightmare. This is going to be real bad.

I’ll post pictures soon with the sweaters (!) and coats (!!) as soon as I get them. Hopefully, I’ll get home tomorrow when it’s still light outside.

If I don’t slide off the mountain of course.

Merrie Christmas!

– bob

I’ve Never Met Peppermint Gomez

Friends,

The joyous holiday season is upon us, and that means only one thing at my house—dogs! I’m picking them up this weekend for their annual fortnight of eating my books and being miserable in the cold. I’ve missed having them around, and it appears that they’ve been busy while away…

Apparently, Mayor McCheese and his executive assistant Candida Hamm were conducting a promotional photo shoot for fall outerwear when who should arrive on the scene? The Girly Dog! What terrible injustice can’t she solve?

I think the Iraq Study Group could offer an 80th recommendation…

Your pal,

bob