Jaunty Dumptruck O’News! – Critter Alert!

Friends,

I wouldn’t normally post something like this because the underlying story is fairly sad, but you can’t ignore the craft displayed by master Press-Enterprise wordsmith Richard Brooks in this case. Behold:

A dead horse is creating a traffic hazard along 58th Avenue just east of La Quinta, according to the California Highway Patrol website.

The carcass was reported at 5:18 a.m. in the westbound lanes at Jackson Street and was still in the roadway at 6:14 a.m.

There was no word on what caused the critter’s death.

Just keep the quality high, and the readers will come. The cream floats to the top, you know.

– bob

Normal Programming Resumed

Friends,

I’ve returned to my piney paradise from a city that can best be described as immediately pre-apocalyptic. It’s a study in contrasts!

A lot has happened while I’ve been in a news blackout. “Red Ink” Rick Wagoner was punted from the corner office at GM and the Dodge Boys are going to learn how to have more fun in Italian. Also, the European debate team will be having a friendly discussion about economic policy during the meeting of the G20 in London by storming the Bank of England. On top of all that, the Justice Department has dropped their case against Uncle Ted Stevens!

Should your faithful Indian guide put his ear to the ground, he will likely make out “four riders, coming from the North…” Not too late to turn around, kemosabe.

– bob

The Auto Industry Is Fine, Nothing To Worry About

Di Salvo's American Motors - courtesy Hemmings Blog
Friends,

In case you’ve missed out on the fun carnage in the American automotive industry, the dreadnought that is The Truth About Cars has been on the case. Could it be worse than Fiat buying 35% of Chrysler with no money? Yes!

  • Former Beijing Jeep getting loans from the City of Beijing to buy Chrysler? Vipers flooding Tiananmen Square coming soon.
  • The United Auto Workers agree to take an equity stake in Ford rather than cash to fund their health care trust. To save costs, analgesics will be mixed in the paint. If grandpa gets a headache, he’ll have to lick the Mustang.
  • Some old guy thinks GM should go bankrupt. Condemns unions for not planting apple trees now for workers to sell on street corners later.

I even heard a discussion on NPR today about whether America even needs a domestic auto industry. Astounding.

– bob

UPDATE: Added link to Warren Olney’s To The Point program from yesterday. Who needs a Stairmaster when this’ll get your heart rate right up there?

This Amazing Year – Keeping Up Appearances

Friends,

You surely know by now that the domestic automobile industry is in shambles, with players scrambling for any advantage. General Motors has taken to raiding their employee pension funds, for example. Ford has mortgaged its headquarters building on top of the blue oval logo itself. Chrysler, the company that bought American Motors, has been seeking a partner. Renault, the firm that helped finally kill American Motors in the first place over two decades ago, has recently rebuffed Chrysler’s advances. So what is Chrysler to do?

They will have to team up with a well-known brand, famous for its quality and workmanship. A company that Americans will instantly associate with value for money and attention to detail. Clearly, that partner is Fiat!

Fiat burning. Courtesy Auto Express magazine.

Oh. Uh oh.

– bob

Credits: Photo courtesy Auto Express magazine, via Kausfiles. Thanks Mickey!

Fog Of More (Snow)

Friends,

The weather up here in my little burg, the village that makes the gods smile, has been atrocious. Cold, to below freezing, but warming to melt the mess to a sloppy goo. People in other, sloppier parts of the world have experienced worse, but I haven’t. This is the biggest pile of mess that I’ve seen since I’ve been here. It’s lovely though in a weathery sort of way. Imagine if you will that you’re in Southern California and you’re able to experience four actual seasons. It’s true here.

The government of this once great State of California will soon kill our way of life with extreme prejudice (and taxes). In the meanwhile, please do what you can to come to this currently fine place and enjoy all we have on offer. Next month it’ll be gone. Or very expensive.

Your best pal in the whole world,

– bob

Here In My Car – Sirius XM Ponder Bankruptcy

Colonel Harold Brown (C) w. Dr. Hans Ziegler (L), John Licht (2R) and Dr. Harold Zahl (R) with US weather satellite ready for launching. Location:	Ft Monmouth, NJ, US Date taken: February 1959 Photographer: Andreas FeiningerFriends,

It looks like the “best radio on radio” is going down the Chapter 11 route. I read about this yesterday and cancelled my subscription before it was cancelled for me by a bankruptcy judge. Sure, everything might end up well, but I thought it’d be neat to hold on to my cash. Ever since the merger, I’ve increasingly disliked the service. XM subscribers have screamed and yelled about the cuts in their favorite programming. I was a fan of the old Sirius straight-ahead blues station that went away in favor of a BB King-branded channel. The new jazz station stinks more often than not. Their “college” station has become more commercial.

Goodbye, satellite. Hello, podcasts.

I guess that’s what’s killed them, hasn’t it?

– bob

UPDATE: In other satellite news, SATELLITE CRASH!!!1one!1!1!!

This Amazing Year! – Chicks Dig It


(Girl)Friends,

You’ve had it rough for a long time. Between paying too much for health insurance and making less money at work, it would be understandable if you were a little cranky. These disparities (up to 39% more for an individual health plan? outrageous.) are being addressed this week in separate actions designed to stop those practices going forward. What took so long?

You could say that this year has been reasonably great so far, but you’d be wrong. It’s been amazing!

– bob

This Amazing Year! – Iceland Melts Down (updated)

She's a delightful pixie, but what does her 401(k) look like now?Friends,

The global economic crisis has struck Iceland particularly hard and her population has noticed and taken to the streets. The rioting over governmental and business malfeasance in racking up huge debt has even involved hurling yogurt at the prime minister. Yogurt, people.

We might’ve anticipated the riots in Greece since their unemployment rate is staggering and their government isn’t exactly ready or able to do anything about it. Iceland though, is a special case. They’re leveraged to the hilt with among other nutso financial instruments—deep breath now—mortgage-backed securities! Hooray!

Icelandic banks are collapsing left and right with no real chance of insurance for depositors. Calls for early elections are getting serious traction at the moment (why not? some of those people have yogurt.), markets have stopped trading their currency and the IMF is propping that currency up with emergency cash. Doesn’t this only happen to third world countries? Not anymore.

Sigh.

– bob

UPDATE: Ain’t this a fine kettle of herring? It appears that the Icelandic government has finally collapsed. Prime Minister Geir Haarde got smacked around by the Social Democratic Alliance Party and was forced to disband government. “I really regret that we could not continue with this coalition, I believe that that would have been the best result,” Haarde told reporters that I presume included the Associated Press (where I borrowed that quote from in its entirety). Clearly it would’ve been the best to keep the old people in power to fix the problem, much like it’s a great idea to keep the current management of GM in charge of their bankrupt behemoth. Of course you want to dance with the one that brung you, that’s only polite. But if your dance partner is bringing you to the edge of total destruction, maybe it’s time to tear up your dance card. Just saying.

Jaunty Dumptruck O’ News! – Debate Roundup!

I feel dirty.

I’m gonna need a shower after this debate [warning: adobe flash 10 required on terrible myspace-hosted site. – ed Does it use Flash because democracy hates UNIX? at least. mostly the commission on presidential debates hates you—a lot. -ed] just to get the stink off. Post-partisan? Change? Straight talk? Holy crap. We here at the Lodge are flabbergasted…

Puppies: file photo
The “health of the mother” is an “extreme abortionist view” held by radicals? Really? The Girly Dog is not impressed…

Now then, Senator. Let's talk.
Charter schools are the “greatest civil rights issue…” of the next century? How about this one? Sarah Palin knows a bunch about autism? I’m guessing she knows more than she bargained for about Down Syndrome, so maybe that’s true, but I suspect that the senator from Arizona was a touch confused.

I'll never have that recipe again.
A touch?

William Ayers. ACORN. Clean coal. Good lord, shut the hell up. What might you deign to do about the economy, mayhaps?

– bob

Financial Failure Photo Fun!

Pals,

Considering that it’s the largest bank failure in United States history, Washington Mutual and their new masters at JP Morgan Chase seem to be taking the whole thing very well. Since they’re in such good spirits (and they don’t seem to have trashed my account), that we can have a jolly old time as well. Here’s a screenshot from their website (click on the image to go to their current site).

You're never gonna guess what happened...
I think a caption contest is in order, don’t you? I’ve got some to get you started:

  • “Open your wallet and close your eyes, and you’re gonna get a big surprise…”
  • “I can’t bear to look.”
  • “Happy 119th birthday! You’ll never guess what we got you!”

I’m sure you can do better. The comments are open…

– bob