Tag: punditry

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The 2020 Jaunty Election Guide – The Rest Of The Propositions Edition

Friends,

Before you dive into the remaining propositions on this year’s California ballot, we recommend that you start with the first part of the 2020 Jaunty Election Guide, then come back here.

A couple notes before we dive back in. First, the president’s doctors at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center hosted a press conference that painted a picture so rosy of the president’s health, you’d think they were talking about Ray Milland. Second, the Vice President of the United States, who is next in line, should the president meet with a sub-suboptimal outcome, isn’t under recommended quarantine for a fortnight but is jetting around, being irresponsible. I guess the GOP really does want to install President Pelosi to complete their next-level 4-dimensional chess strategy that is totally escaping me at the moment.

Well then! Let’s get to the rest of the propositions…

California Propositions

There’s a big list this year, so let’s get to it…

  • Prop 19 – Changes Certain Property Tax Rules – Legislative Constitutional Amendment: 1978’s Proposition 13 property tax freeze takes another little hit here, but overall, it seems like a nice idea to allow the over-55 set to take their tax rate with them to a new home anywhere in the state. This could hurt non-farm family businesses passing down property though, but there’s no light green color in the palette.
  • Prop 20 – Restricts Parole For Certain Offenses Currently Considered To Be Non-Violent. Authorizes Felony Sentences For Certain Offenses Currently Treated Only As Misdemeanors – Initiative Statute: Wow. Do you want to incarcerate a lot more people for longer? Do you want to reduce the chances that shoplifters get parole? Do you want law enforcement to collect more DNA samples? Then this one is for you! With so many bad ideas wrapped up in one proposition, it’s hard to know where to begin. By creating new felonies for the state to incarcerate in already-crowded prisons, we’d have to turn to the private prison industry to make up the difference. During a pandemic, that already sounds like two bad ideas. How about limiting parole board discretion when releasing non-violent offenders? There’s a third bad idea for you. We suggest a no vote on this one.
  • Prop 21 – Expands Local Governments’ Authority To Enact Rent Control On Residential Property – Initiative Statute: I know I’m dating myself again, but there was a time when you could rent a nice apartment in San Diego for less than half of your salary. That’s no longer the case and it’s grinding the entire local economy to a halt. This proposition allows new rent control boards to be established, which is fine, but that might reduce earnings that some homeowners rely on. This one also doesn’t provide eviction protection for tenants living in rent-controlled units, which is bad news. This is a big nope.
  • Prop 22 – Exempts App-Based Transportation And Delivery Companies From Providing Employee Benefits To Certain Drivers – Initiative Statute: The Uber Protection Act exempts Uber, Lyft, DoorDash, Instacart and others from providing basic protections and benefits to their workers. The Attorney General has determined that gig workers are employees, the companies disagree and are fighting with this proposition. We think that employees should have unemployment benefits, sick time, health care, worker’s compensation insurance, and protection from discrimination and harassment at work. We strongly urge a no vote.
  • Prop 23 – Establishes State Requirements For Kidney Dialysis Clinics. Requires On-Site Medical Professional – Initiative Statute: The last time this came up in 2018, it failed. It should probably fail again.
  • Prop 24 – Amends Consumer Privacy Laws – Initiative Statute: As you open sites on the web over the last few years, those that collect your information (but not this one! – ed That’s right, we never collect your information because our files are already overflowing with information and we can’t possibly store one more bit.) have had to put banners on their home pages to ask your permission. Proponents would like for you to think of this proposition as the California version of the EU’s General Data Protection Regulation (GDPR), and very well might be. This proposition limits sharing, allows you to correct data, and limit use of your sensitive information with new penalties and a new agency. The problem is that this essentially forces you into arbitration with the privacy agency as your advocate. It also circumvents existing protections and creates new classes of information that are exempt. Probably a good idea to reject this one.
  • Prop 25 – Referendum On Law That Replaced Money Bail With System Based On Public Safety And Flight Risk: I like the idea of eliminating money bail and am extremely uneasy about the implementation. We don’t have a recommendation on how to vote, but do recommend that you read the text of the referendum.

That was a lot, but we did it everybody. Please vote this year. Please tell your friends to get out and vote.

Only 29 days left.

Your pal,

– bob

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The 2020 Jaunty Election Guide – Can We Panic Now Edition

Friends,

Remember when our politics were normal? There was a time, wait for it, when we Americans wouldn’t punch each other in the face for supporting the other party. When we wouldn’t bring long guns to protests. There was a time when we wouldn’t have to worry about somebody coughing on us during a pandemic just to prove a political point.

There was a time before the president of the United States was being hospitalized for a deadly illness that he and his administration made much worse. (there was a time when you used to use an initial capital letter when spelling president. – ed Seems like a long time ago!) I remember when inaction by a president that resulted in the death of over 200,000 Americans would have been immediately disqualifying. Have a seat and let me tell you a story about how the nation would be scandalized by a president that used curse words. There was a Vice President who left office in disgrace for tax evasion. A President who left office for campaign violations and another who was impeached for lying to a grand jury. These things happened before the Republicans coalesced on a plan: lie, block, obstruct, and disenfranchise anybody who won’t keep them in power.

You have to give it to them that their project has been very successful. They’ve appealed to the worst impulses of the American electorate, ensuring GOP minority rule for years. Xenophobia, white nationalism, and a vague reinterpretation of public comity into their familiar bugbear they like to call “socialism” has kept their older, whiter electorate coming back for more. I have hope that it ends this year.

That’s why everyone here on The Best Political Team on this Blog™ has been working double-overtime to analyze your choices in this election and to provide you expert analysis so you can make an informed choice in this crucial election.

Candidates

We haven’t picked actual candidates in actual races for a while, but if you’re wavering on who to choose in this election, maybe this’ll help push you over the edge.

  • President of The United States – Joseph R. Biden, Vice President – Kamala D. Harris
    In the primary, I voted for Elizabeth Warren because I wanted somebody to prosecute the case against the 45th president, but the wisdom of selecting Joe Biden as the nominee seems brilliant in retrospect. He’s (almost) everything the current president isn’t—informed, compassionate, gentle, steadfast, and devoted to service. Sounds weird writing that because we’ve been missing those qualities in our current craven, self-serving, grifter government. I’m ready to not have to worry about the next politically damaging tweet or dumb trade war. I’m ready for competence in government.
    I’m going to miss Senator Harris’ representation of California, but she’s perfect for Vice President at this moment.
  • United States Representative, District 36 – Dr. Raul Ruiz
    The good doctor is the incumbent and has been doing a remarkable job for the Coachella Valley. In addition to his stewardship of the Salton Sea restoration project, he’s taken on veterans’ health issues, and protections for the workers in the fields who put produce on our tables. There are two groups how don’t like him—GOPs who see a seat ripe for the picking and activists who don’t think he’s moving fast enough. The former need to become comfortable pounding sand for the foreseeable future and the latter need to just cool it.
  • United States Representative, District 50 – Ammar Campa-Najjar
    We don’t know too much about Mr. Campa-Najjar except that he lost in the mid-terms here in California’s deeply red and disturbingly nuts 50th district to indicted, later convicted felon, Duncan Hunter Jr. Now he’s running against carpetbagger Darrell Issa who bailed out of his own coastal district when it was clear he was going to lose to Mike Levin in 2016. Fortunately, Mr. Issa has plenty of cash on hand for a comfortable retirement. It’s only right that we help him do that.
  • San Diego County Board of Supervisors, 3rd District – Terra Lawson-Remer
    The County Registrar of Voters seems to be having a very tough time getting voter information out this year. Ms. Lawson-Remer’s opponent, a weird GOP acolyte, is having no trouble putting out campaign hit pieces and polluting the discourse. We’ve had it up to here with that nonsense and we’re endorsing Ms. Lawson-Remer, who seems to have had quite a history of mixing things up for the good of average Americans. Keep an eye on her.

California Propositions

There’s a big list this year, so let’s get to it…

  • Prop 14 – Authorizes Bonds Continuing Stem Cell Research – Initiative Statute: 2004’s Proposition 71 caused the anti-choice activists in this state (And there are a lot. Just drive 25 miles away from the coast and you’ll find them.) to writhe on the floor and choke on their tongues. The idea was that the state would support and protect a burgeoning, but legislatively at-risk biomedical industry with the trade-off that the state would share in the profits of any therapeutic discoveries developed with our money. Well, the money has run out and they’d like a new bond issued. We don’t normally support bond issues, but this one seems important. We knew progress wouldn’t be quick, now we’ll need to put up the cash.
  • Prop 15 – Increases Funding Sources For Public Schools, Community Colleges, and Local Government Services By Changing Tax Assessment Of Commercial And Industrial Property – Initiative Constitutional Amendment: It’s surprising that this proposition isn’t getting more ink, since it’s intended to start unravelling the infamous Proposition 13 from 1978 that essentially locked in property tax rates to a maximum of 1% of values, and annual increases of 2%, prohibiting reassessment unless property was sold. Great news for your grandparents who own their house outright. Bad news for school districts who rely on local property taxes for funding that haven’t kept up with inflation (or the cost of technology, training, removing asbestos, pandemics, etc.) The original proposition was intended to protect homeowners from gouging by evil county tax assessors, but it also included commercial property. The new proposition, firmly treading on the third rail of California politics, seeks to remove those protections from commercial properties worth over $3 million to provide somewhere in the neighborhood of $10 billion in new funding to schools. It’s a slippery slope and could be bad, but we feel it’s worth the risk to provide a quality education to kids in California. Hell, they may even reinstate civics classes. Remember, despots dig low-information voters. Just sayin’.
  • Prop 16 – Allows Diversity As A Factor In Public Employment, Education, And Contracting Decisions – Legislative Constitutional Amendment: Remember when institutional racism ended in 1996 and California voters approved Proposition 209, which banned consideration of race in hiring? In cart-putting before horse voting, Californians were convinced somehow that we didn’t need to protect minorities and underrepresented groups because something magically happened and there weren’t any racists anymore. This proposition fixes that.
  • Prop 17 – Restores Right To Vote After Completion Of Prison Term – Legislative Constitution Amendment: I’m all for restoring voting rights for people who have served their time, unless it’s Duncan Hunter, so it’s a toss-up. Not sure how I feel about this one.
  • Prop 18 – Amends California Constitution To Permit 17-Year-Olds To Vote In Primary And Special Elections If They Will Turn 18 By The Next General Election And Be Otherwise Eligible To Vote – Legislative Constitutional Amendment: Also known as the Expanding The Field And Democrat Protection Act, this one allows kids to vote (for Democrats) before they turn 18 if they’ll be 18 before the general election so they can vote (for Democrats). It’s so crass and blatant if you spend any time at all looking at polls, that you have to love it—or at least you should love it.

Lordy. We’re not even half-way through. Check back in tomorrow when we weigh in on the remaining seven propositions, provide some handy voter information from The Handy Voter Information Desk™, and throw in a couple surprises.

Only 30 days left. We can do this.

Your pal,

– bob

UPDATE: The second part is online now! Just head over there when you’re done here.

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Toddler Watch: Product Placement Edition

A lovely centered picture of a lady wearing a hat.
Friends,

The president of this here union of states, a United States if you will, went to Texas to “tour the area stricken by Hurricane Harvey.” That seemed like a thing that presidents do, not this president necessarily, but some presidents. They fly over the scene of devastation, maybe meet with some of the victims…

(needle_scratch.wav)

So this president went not to Houston, the fourth largest city in these United States and scene of mass devastation, but to Corpus Christi. While there, he praised Governor Abbott on a job well done (premature congratulator? -ed) and marveled at the crowd that his staff assembled for his appearance.

What I found galling was not those things that we’ve become accustomed to, like the not meeting victims, not having a human soul, congratulating flunkies for doing nothing, and judging his self-worth by crowd sizes. No, I was peeved at the hat. He’s been wearing a baseball cap during this calamity with USA embroidered on the front, and some other embroidery around the band including his name. He sells this cap on his campaign website for $40, which makes this combover costume little more than product placement for his merchandise.

Then there’s his wife’s cap, which writes the joke that symbolizes this presidency perfectly…

Who wears a FLOTUS cap to the scene of the worst flooding in this country’s history?

By the way, it’s funnier if you say it out loud.

This is not normal. None of this is normal.

Your best pal,

– bob

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Toddler Watch: Adult Supervision Without Adults Edition

A lovely centered picture of a book
Friends,

The vice president of these here United States cut his overseas trip short to return to view the smoldering wreckage of the Executive branch of government. I’m sure he’ll keep our democracy in his thoughts and prayers as he digs through the debris, past the confederate flags and Post-Its with Twitter passwords scrawled across them, as he looks for a way to salvage his career.

After all, the albatross that is 45’s presidency is going to be very heavy, covered in cheap bronzer and smothered in fried chicken grease.

Your best pal,

– bob

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Toddler Watch: Aw, Do I Have To? Edition

A lovely centered picture of a book
Friends,

Yesterday, the president of these United States, days after the riot in Charlottesville, Virginia started by white nationalists, finally said that violence by white nationalists was bad.

“Racism is evil. And those who cause violence in its name are criminals and thugs, including the KKK, neo Nazis, white supremacists and other hate groups that are repugnant to everything we hold dear as Americans. We are a nation founded on the truth that all of us are created equal. We are equal in the eyes of our Creator. We are equal under the law. And we are equal under our Constitution. Those who spread violence in the name of bigotry strike at the very core of America.”
– The 45th President of the United States

Would he have said this if his donors hadn’t pressured him to revise his “all sides” statement? Probably not.

Will he go to Charlottesville to meet with the victims and their families? Of course not.

A normal American president would denounce Nazis (I can’t believe I even have to say this) and meet with the victims right away. This, dear friends, is not normal.

Your best pal,

– bob

UPDATE: Good gravy. He held a press conference on Tuesday afternoon and doubled down on the “both sides” argument. Then, as you do when you’re the president, you equate George Washington with Robert E. Lee…

“George Washington was a slave owner. Was George Washington a slave owner? So, will George Washington now lose his status? Are we going to take down—excuse me—are we going to take down—are we going to take down statues to George Washington?”

Stunning.

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Toddler Watch: But Nobody Else Likes Me Edition

A lovely centered picture of a book
Friends,

The person who was selected by the Republican Party to be their nominee for president of these United States has a problem. He has no friends. He’s surrounded by suck-ups and toadies, but nobody actually likes this man. When you have as fragile an ego as Ivanka’s dad, you do things to make people like you. Like what, you may ask.

Like taking great pains not to offend Nazis.

Over the weekend, aggrieved white nationalists, fascists, neo-Nazis, and real Nazis descended on Charlottesville, Virginia for a rally to protest taking down a statue of Confederate General Robert E. Lee and to cause some trouble. They surrounded a black church during services, terrifying parishioners. They attempted home invasions in a predominately black area of town, and set up battle lines in a park dedicated to peace. Later on Saturday, one of the Nazis got in his Dodge Challenger and plowed into a crowd of anti-protesters, killing one and injuring 19.

What did Melania’s husband have to say about it? He condemned the violence on all sides, that’s what. Nothing about disavowing Nazis or white nationalists or skinheads, and they were thrilled that they weren’t called out. They’ve got a pal in the White House, they crowed.

Yes, it would seem that they do. A man who needs all the friends he can get at this point.

We fought a world war to get rid of Nazis, and now the president of these entire United States (and Guam. -ed) is playing footsie with a home-grown terror gang.

This is not normal.

Your best pal,

– bob

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Toddler Watch: Who’s a Good Boy? Edition

A lovely centered picture of a book
Friends,

The president of these United States receives a brief twice a day containing news stories covering all of the good things he’s doing, how successful he is, and how his administration is doing great. Internally, staffers call it the “propaganda document.” This is different from a clipping service, where you save media mentions for later use in your marketing. The brief, presented to the boss by toadies in the White House, is designed solely to stroke this nitwit’s ego.

This is also not normal.

Your best pal,

– bob

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Toddler Watch: Vacation Edition

A lovely centered picture of a book
Friends,

I’ve read a lot of commentary on Twitter about the hypocrisy of the 45th president of these United States going on a two-week vacation while he lambasted President Obama for doing the same. I get that the act is hypocritical and who doesn’t enjoy making fun of this buffoon, but the people who criticize him for spending so much time away from the White House miss an important point…

The more time he spends on the road, the less time he’s spending doing evil stuff.

Like what you ask? Like taking away the Obama-era protection against nursing homes forcing residents into private arbitration to resolve disputes for things like abuse or poor care. Like immigration officers rounding up parents while their kids are in school.

So, you know, maybe it’s not such a bad thing that Ivanka’s dad is on holiday.

This is not normal.

Your best pal,

– bob

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Toddler Watch: Leggo My Ego Edition

A lovely centered picture of a book
Friends,

A day ago, the 45th president of these United States has held a political rally at the Boy Scout Jamboree where he thanked the 12-year olds in the crowd for voting for him and goaded them into booing the 44th president. This is a startling breach of protocol not only for a sitting president, but also for a normal human being with a sense of ethics.

Two days ago, the 45th president dedicated a new aircraft carrier—one named after the guy who pardoned 45’s prototypical president, Richard Nixon—and as commander-in-chief, ordered the service men and women in attendance to support his political agenda. This stuff used to happen in tin pot, third world dictatorships. Until now.

This is not normal.

Your best pal,

– bob

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Toddler Watch: I’m Smart, I Know Things! Edition

A lovely centered picture of a poster
Friends,

The 45th president of these United States, better known as Marla Maples’ ex-husband, is a mentally unstable sociopath with narcissistic tendencies. On that we can certainly agree. What we might disagree on is his healthcare policy expertise. Sometimes it’s pretty difficult for him to grasp. Sometimes it’s easy…

A lovely centered picture of a tweet from a robot

Again, this sort of thing doesn’t happen in a functioning democracy, but it happened yesterday in the United States of America.

Your best pal,

– bob

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Toddler Watch: Dear Leader Edition

A lovely centered picture of a poster
Friends,

The 45th president of these United States, better known as Jared Kushner’s father in-law, held the first meeting of his entire cabinet yesterday. This is a motley crew of GOP lifers, hangers-on, dopes, fire starters, and Mitch McConnell’s wife (who is several of those things. -ed). While mostly a photo opportunity, a startling and brazenly un-American thing happened—one by one, they went around the room pledging their loyalty to the president.

This doesn’t happen in a functioning democracy, but it happened yesterday.

Your best pal,

– bob

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Toddler Watch: Poor Impulse Control Edition

Friends,

The United States of America, a founding member of the North Atlantic Treaty Organization, last year elected an orange buffoon as its leader. One of the reasons that old white people in this country voted for him, we’re told, is that because they’re anxious about their economic fortunes, they thought a successful businessman would be the best choice. This man would negotiate trade deals with other nations that tilt in favor of the United States. A master negotiator would also be able to bend foreign ministers to his will, the thinking goes, to ensure that America isn’t stuck holding the nightstick as the “world’s policeman.”

Here’s the master negotiator in action at his first NATO summit in Brussels…


Economically anxious white people in Montana also voted in a special election yesterday to elect a man who beat up a reporter the day before as their sole congressional representative. This is more dangerous.

I strongly believe that NATO is a self-healing institution and can route around problems, like the grandstanding grifter who lists “45th President” when he takes out new loans with the Russians. However, he and the new GOP representative from Montana, and the people who support them, are showing that it’s okay to rough people up to get what you want. That it’s perfectly fine to beat on a member of the media who’s pressing to get a question answered on the eve of an important election.

Pay attention to these things, dear reader. This is how we lose a democracy.

Your pal,

– bob

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All Hail The Orb!

Friends,

Our president, a 70-year old orange toddler, has stayed up way past his bedtime during his first foreign trip as the leader of the free world. (since you put it that way, it’s time to jump off a bridge. – ed At least wait for the midterms.) During this trip, he has said dumb things, coddled dictators, and has reshaped America’s foreign policy to comport with the thing the last person he spoke to told him. In other words, the trip was going as expected, until he encountered The Orb.

Was The Orb part of some elaborate stagecraft by the Saudi king to open the new Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology in Riyadh, or something more nefarious, as portrayed on Twitter? Maybe it was something else entirely…


Your pal,

– bob

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Toddler President Watch: Leaking State Secrets Edition

A lovely centered picture of a poster
Friends,

A heavily-sourced story by the fine folks at The Washington Post (Cripes, are they going to save this nation’s bacon again? every 45 years, like clockwork. -ed) reported that some septuagenarian toddler we call the 45th president shared highly classified information with the Russian ambassador. You remember the Russians, don’t you? They’re the ones who threw the last election toward said toddler through a disinformation campaign fueled by hackers, social media dupes, and willing stooges.

Anyway, the toddler’s nannies and enablers in the White House denied the story yesterday. This seems pretty normal. Why would you admit that you shared secrets that inherently compromise our sources with the enemies of our democracy?

I don’t know. Why don’t you ask that toddler yourself, since he admitted sharing that information today.

It’s not a crime, but that doesn’t mean he shouldn’t be removed from office for doing it. In fact, it helps reinforce the existing case for impeachment. Now all we need is a Congress that worries more about the country than their party.

Your best pal,

– bob

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The American Experiment: Testing The Low Values Edition

A lovely centered picture of a my driveway
Friends,

Whether it’s stripping healthcare out of a healthcare bill because it’s too generous, hunting bears while they’re hibernating, or removing online privacy protections so ISPs can make a dollar, the majority party in this United States Congress has been busy. Why do they hate people, sleeping bear cubs and people? Because there is a dollar to be made, and your modern Republican Party is chock full of people who have no interest in you.

I propose that while we bide our time until they can be voted out of power, we have a little fun at their donor’s expense: keep as many browser windows open and search for as many different things as your computer will allow. Let’s work together to make our browsing and search histories worthless!

Your best pal,

– bob