Tag: This Crappy Year

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Saab Dead

Saab 96
Friends,

Since GM can’t find a real, funded buyer for Saab, they’ve decided to fold the brand known best for its weirdness eccentricities. Its U.S. consumer base seemed to me to be centered in Vermont consisting largely of retired professors wearing tweed sportcoats with suede elbow patches. The pipe-smoking intelligentsia seems to have passed, or at least passed the flame to Subaru nowadays. Here’s the grim truth from our friends at The Truth About Cars…

The company’s U.S. high was 48,181 in 1986. In 2009 YTD, Saab sold 7,812 cars in the US.

So long, Swedish weirdos. We hardly knew ye.

– bob

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Happy December First!

Mme. Puppy Dog
Friends,

The little girly puppy dog is sick. Could be the religious extremist** in town poisoning dogs to remove the demons on earth, could be that she ate something bad while in the desert. It’s hard to know at this point, and while she didn’t eat at all yesterday or her breakfast this morning, she looked well enough that I decided to head down to the Festival of Dirt this morning.

I suppose I should be honored that the Indian Wells Police Department thinks my elderly Jeep Grand Livingroom can go as fast as they say it was going this morning, but there’s a reason that Lidar is pronounced “LIE-dahr.”

Stupid Tuesday, indeed.

– bob

** Thanks to frequent commenter KC and her finely tuned lingometer for pushing me in the direction of using “extremist” instead of “fundamentalist.” There’s a huge difference between the two, but I think the former is much more accurate in this case.

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I’m The CEO! Product Planning Edition

Oooh. Trucklet.
Friends,

General Motors, the global manufacturing behemoth that we American taxpayers *cough* own, just doesn’t seem to understand what vehicles Americans can actually use. I haven’t been shy about my hope that somebody will bring back the compact pickup of the 70s. No, not the metal dashboard, lowest common denominator death wagons we drove back then, but not the squished versions of full-sized trucks Nissan and Toyota are pushing.

Could we use Brazilian front wheel drive unibody pickup with a 1.8 liter flex fuel four? Could GM own the segment for small pickups with a vehicle they already build with a motor they already (I think) sell here? A segment that Volkswagen and Chrysler abandoned in these United States nearly thirty years ago?

Could they sell enough to make enough money to give you and me back our money? Could you use one? Discuss.

– bob

NOTE: The ’84 Dodge Rampage picture in the Chrysler link is our friend Nick’s very own trucklet seen at Nick’s Garage. He’s a good guy, really knows his stuff and I’m sure this Fiat thing is killing him. Thanks, Nick!

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I’m The CEO! What Did We Buy?

Friends,

You may remember back a few hundred days ago when we bought a ten percent stake in the Chrysler Corporation, then gave the company to the quality mavens at Fiat. The day before yesterday, the new bosses unveiled their plans for new products. If the company lives long enough, it appears that they’re looking to build some real crap. I’m really only interested in Jeep though, and there was a presentation for that (warning: PDF link). Let’s take a look at how little they understand the American market!

What first caught my eye was their discussion of the history of the brand…

Was that their logo in the 60s? AMC is notably absent.
First crossover? (it’s not hyphenated, by the way. and what the hell is with the greengrocer’s apostrophe? -ed That’s my gig, isn’t it?) Are they talking about this, perhaps?

That's right. The mighty Jeepster (Commando).
Elegance WITH capability is clearly evident here, so we can’t quibble there. Just look!

But what about the children? Jeep appeals to everyone, after all. But how on earth can we indoctrinate the children? It’s already happening, people…

Unmentioned is the use of Jeep in sex ed...
Oh, James.

Jeep has also inspired people to join together all over the world to chase oil leaks and replace broken axles. Even in Hemet…

No shout-outs to the Anza Jeepers?
But moving forward, how will Jeep keep the hardcore fans involved while appealing to new buyers? The lifestyle set, if you will…

She wants a Compass, clearly. No spring in her neck though.
Um, holy crap? Is this the new face of Jeep? The clip art lady with a cheap hat? I’m sure we’ll see her at the next Jamboree in her Compass. Along with this guy…

Welcome to the Rubicon. Are you from around here?
He might be from Hemet. Or somewhere else…

Oh, you young aspirationals. So furry. Maybe you’re not interested in rockcrawling after all. We can help…

You don't need all that stuff.
Can we talk about genetic mutations for a moment? Perhaps you’d like a Fiat Panda with a seven-slot grille in 2013.

WTF.

– bob

UPDATE: Oops! Forgot to credit The Truth About Cars and Allpar. Thanks guys!

UPDATE II: It turns out that Chrysler Corp. dealers hate the new ads too. Kinda like saying that leeches are sick and tired of the whole vampire meme, but we’ll take it where we can get it.

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Can’t Afford The Cake

We can't afford color either.
Friends,

Today marks the 159th anniversary of the Great State of California becoming a state. Truly a momentous occasion, considering that we’re the third largest state by land mass and first in population. We still have one of the largest economies in the world despite the fact that the legislature as a whole couldn’t be trusted to put the cream filling in an Oreo.

This calls for a celebration! What is the state government doing to mark this historic event?

Um, wow?
It’s hard to tell from the screen shot, but I think what we’re doing in this year of budget constraint is that each citizen takes turns applying eye makeup to Maria Shriver. You’ve gotta give credit to the party planners in Sacramento. I never would’ve thought to do that.

It looks like loads of fun though…

bob

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R.I.P. Ted Kennedy

Well? Is he?
Friends,

In all my excitement about the 19th Amendment, I completely forgot to note the passing of the senior senator from the state of Massachusetts. All of the mainstream media sites have had obituary packages set up for months, so I won’t bore you with any of that. There’s this to think about though—does this mean healthcare reform gets forced through more quickly in honor of the Liberal Lion of the Senate? Some people think so…

– bob