Dear American Heroes,
If you, like we knuckleheads in California, are part of the primary voting cluster of democracy tomorrow, you’re no doubt excited about the possibilities. The possibility of having your vote on a ballot proposition overturned by an aggrieved loser in court. The possibility that your favorite candidate will change positions sometime in May to appeal to the important baby seal-clubbing voting block. The possibility that superdelegates will trump everything that you thought you were voting for at the convention.
This is the important turning point of our cherished democracy.
Well then, now that we’ve got all the pessimism out of the way, let’s get to The Jaunty Little Blog Recommendations For Filling In Those Tiny Dots!
- Proposition 91 – Transportation Funds. Initiative Constitutional Amendment Please. Amending the state Constitution again? Stop it already. Vote no just on principle.
- Proposition 92 – Community Colleges. Funding. Governance. Fees. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute. Um, with the Constitution? No thanks.
- Proposition 93 – Limits on Legislator’s Terms In Office. Initiative Constitutional Amendment. This one’s a stinker. Not only because it amends the Constitution like a drunken, um, Constitution amender, but because it grandfathers in current legislators for another 12 years when they would’ve been termed out now. Looking at you Perata and Nunez. Those guys and their cronies need to go away. Vote no on this one. Who knows, maybe you’ll see some cool Fabien Nunez For Dogcatcher mailers in November. Or they’ll go to court to overturn your vote.
- Propositions 94 through 97 – Referenda on Amendments to Indian Gaming Compacts Wow. How much money has been spent on campaigning for and against these? The folks against own some dog tracks and Vegas casinos. Oh, and a couple smaller tribes who don’t like the new facilities these compacts afford four of the wealthiest tribes. We here at Jaunty Election Central think that’s just sour grapes. The smaller tribes can negotiate their own new compacts and the dog tracks can pound sand. In exchange, the tribes give the state some more money than they do now. They really don’t have to, being sovereign nations. Sounds like a winner to us.
- Presidential Candidates Vote for the person you like. I like Mister Obama despite the looks and smell of his financial dealings in Chicago. I certainly can do without the crabby Clintons. I get my recommended daily allowance of mud slinging just getting out of my driveway in the morning, thankyouverymuch. Romney could theoretically convince me to buy a watch out of the J.C. Penney catalog (it looks good on him), but little else. McCain, or as we refer to his candidacy around the office here, George Bush’s third term? Yeah, um, no. We’re not saying, we’re just saying…
There you have it. We’ve staked our positions which should prove highly valuable if you’ve just landed here from Mars. Otherwise you’ve already made up your mind, made your choices, and for crissakes gone out and placed your vote. Remember, if you don’t vote, you can’t complain about the next Assistant Secretary of the Interior nominee…
Your pal,
– bob