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Friends,
I’m headed up to Los Angeles and environs to check in with lovely people and take in this year’s edition of the San Marino Motor Classic. It’s sure to be well over 100º later on Sunday, so we’re going early.. Very early. Dear god, so early.
I’m bringing all of the shitty cameras as well, which I think will be a lot of fun. Mavica, PowerShot, EyeModule—they’ll all be there. Better stock up on floppies!
Your best pal,
– bob
Friends,
I’m working on a new post (or at least a new system to keep this thing up to date) on process, but lately I’ve simply been horrified by the crimes that the regime is committing with impunity. This has kept me, I’m sure you’ll understand, from getting behind a keyboard after working hours. While I’ve been concentrating on fun beige plastic-era tech projects, there’s still a terrible cloud hanging over all of this.
What is it? It’s fire abatement. I spent last weekend cutting down and raking up tall weeds. Is that what I wanted to do? Clearly not, but being fined by the Fire Department is a motivator.
I hate it. I hate that they’re slaves to the insurance companies who continue to threaten withdrawal unless “you people do something.”
So we’re sweeping the forest, as required by the anti-science derpwagon running the country.
Back to the subject, this platform seems to be working okay except for uploading pictures. Maybe somebody else has a good blogging client.
Then this whining will go away. Until then…
Your pal,
bob
I started a fun meme in the copy chat room at work where I share quotes from an “actual person.” I finally let them know the identity of the “actual person” and they all responded with a knowing nod. Now that the “actual person” has left the company and that we’ve now started our own “redundancies,” it’s not as funny. We didn’t even get the opportunity to have a fairwell soirée, so I think that her worst fears—that she didn’t have a ton of fans—seems well-founded.
However, I think that I knew her better than most of my colleagues. After all, I went to a conference in Vegas with her. We had some time to chat and I think that she honestly came from a different place. That business-to-business marketing wasn’t for her, which is a legitimate problem. She presented as a fish out of water, and my fellow kittens pawing at the surface of the pond picked up on that.
Since then, things have changed at the workplace. More on that in a little bit.
Your very best pal,
– bob
The president of this here union of states, a United States if you will, went to Texas to “tour the area stricken by Hurricane Harvey.” That seemed like a thing that presidents do, not this president necessarily, but some presidents. They fly over the scene of devastation, maybe meet with some of the victims…
(needle_scratch.wav)
So this president went not to Houston, the fourth largest city in these United States and scene of mass devastation, but to Corpus Christi. While there, he praised Governor Abbott on a job well done (premature congratulator? -ed) and marveled at the crowd that his staff assembled for his appearance.
What I found galling was not those things that we’ve become accustomed to, like the not meeting victims, not having a human soul, congratulating flunkies for doing nothing, and judging his self-worth by crowd sizes. No, I was peeved at the hat. He’s been wearing a baseball cap during this calamity with USA embroidered on the front, and some other embroidery around the band including his name. He sells this cap on his campaign website for $40, which makes this combover costume little more than product placement for his merchandise.
Then there’s his wife’s cap, which writes the joke that symbolizes this presidency perfectly…
Who wears a FLOTUS cap to the scene of the worst flooding in this country’s history?
By the way, it’s funnier if you say it out loud.
This is not normal. None of this is normal.
Your best pal,
– bob
Friends,
Our gal, The Idyllwild Weather Clam loves a good celestial event and she couldn’t be more excited than she is for today’s solar eclipse. In fact, she’s been splashing around in her tide pool all morning listening to this cheery little number.
Have fun folks. Stay safe and don’t burn your eyes out, okay?
Your best pal,
– bob
The vice president of these here United States cut his overseas trip short to return to view the smoldering wreckage of the Executive branch of government. I’m sure he’ll keep our democracy in his thoughts and prayers as he digs through the debris, past the confederate flags and Post-Its with Twitter passwords scrawled across them, as he looks for a way to salvage his career.
After all, the albatross that is 45’s presidency is going to be very heavy, covered in cheap bronzer and smothered in fried chicken grease.
Your best pal,
– bob
Yesterday, the president of these United States, days after the riot in Charlottesville, Virginia started by white nationalists, finally said that violence by white nationalists was bad.
“Racism is evil. And those who cause violence in its name are criminals and thugs, including the KKK, neo Nazis, white supremacists and other hate groups that are repugnant to everything we hold dear as Americans. We are a nation founded on the truth that all of us are created equal. We are equal in the eyes of our Creator. We are equal under the law. And we are equal under our Constitution. Those who spread violence in the name of bigotry strike at the very core of America.”
– The 45th President of the United States
Would he have said this if his donors hadn’t pressured him to revise his “all sides” statement? Probably not.
Will he go to Charlottesville to meet with the victims and their families? Of course not.
A normal American president would denounce Nazis (I can’t believe I even have to say this) and meet with the victims right away. This, dear friends, is not normal.
Your best pal,
– bob
UPDATE: Good gravy. He held a press conference on Tuesday afternoon and doubled down on the “both sides” argument. Then, as you do when you’re the president, you equate George Washington with Robert E. Lee…
“George Washington was a slave owner. Was George Washington a slave owner? So, will George Washington now lose his status? Are we going to take down—excuse me—are we going to take down—are we going to take down statues to George Washington?”
Stunning.
The person who was selected by the Republican Party to be their nominee for president of these United States has a problem. He has no friends. He’s surrounded by suck-ups and toadies, but nobody actually likes this man. When you have as fragile an ego as Ivanka’s dad, you do things to make people like you. Like what, you may ask.
Like taking great pains not to offend Nazis.
Over the weekend, aggrieved white nationalists, fascists, neo-Nazis, and real Nazis descended on Charlottesville, Virginia for a rally to protest taking down a statue of Confederate General Robert E. Lee and to cause some trouble. They surrounded a black church during services, terrifying parishioners. They attempted home invasions in a predominately black area of town, and set up battle lines in a park dedicated to peace. Later on Saturday, one of the Nazis got in his Dodge Challenger and plowed into a crowd of anti-protesters, killing one and injuring 19.
What did Melania’s husband have to say about it? He condemned the violence on all sides, that’s what. Nothing about disavowing Nazis or white nationalists or skinheads, and they were thrilled that they weren’t called out. They’ve got a pal in the White House, they crowed.
Yes, it would seem that they do. A man who needs all the friends he can get at this point.
We fought a world war to get rid of Nazis, and now the president of these entire United States (and Guam. -ed) is playing footsie with a home-grown terror gang.
This is not normal.
Your best pal,
– bob
The president of these United States receives a brief twice a day containing news stories covering all of the good things he’s doing, how successful he is, and how his administration is doing great. Internally, staffers call it the “propaganda document.” This is different from a clipping service, where you save media mentions for later use in your marketing. The brief, presented to the boss by toadies in the White House, is designed solely to stroke this nitwit’s ego.
This is also not normal.
Your best pal,
– bob
I’ve read a lot of commentary on Twitter about the hypocrisy of the 45th president of these United States going on a two-week vacation while he lambasted President Obama for doing the same. I get that the act is hypocritical and who doesn’t enjoy making fun of this buffoon, but the people who criticize him for spending so much time away from the White House miss an important point…
The more time he spends on the road, the less time he’s spending doing evil stuff.
Like what you ask? Like taking away the Obama-era protection against nursing homes forcing residents into private arbitration to resolve disputes for things like abuse or poor care. Like immigration officers rounding up parents while their kids are in school.
So, you know, maybe it’s not such a bad thing that Ivanka’s dad is on holiday.
This is not normal.
Your best pal,
– bob
A day ago, the 45th president of these United States has held a political rally at the Boy Scout Jamboree where he thanked the 12-year olds in the crowd for voting for him and goaded them into booing the 44th president. This is a startling breach of protocol not only for a sitting president, but also for a normal human being with a sense of ethics.
Two days ago, the 45th president dedicated a new aircraft carrier—one named after the guy who pardoned 45’s prototypical president, Richard Nixon—and as commander-in-chief, ordered the service men and women in attendance to support his political agenda. This stuff used to happen in tin pot, third world dictatorships. Until now.
This is not normal.
Your best pal,
– bob
It’s going to rain today. Our gal, The Idyllwild Weather Clam, and I are giddy.
Your best pal,
– bob
The 45th president of these United States, better known as Marla Maples’ ex-husband, is a mentally unstable sociopath with narcissistic tendencies. On that we can certainly agree. What we might disagree on is his healthcare policy expertise. Sometimes it’s pretty difficult for him to grasp. Sometimes it’s easy…
Again, this sort of thing doesn’t happen in a functioning democracy, but it happened yesterday in the United States of America.
Your best pal,
– bob
The 45th president of these United States, better known as Jared Kushner’s father in-law, held the first meeting of his entire cabinet yesterday. This is a motley crew of GOP lifers, hangers-on, dopes, fire starters, and Mitch McConnell’s wife (who is several of those things. -ed). While mostly a photo opportunity, a startling and brazenly un-American thing happened—one by one, they went around the room pledging their loyalty to the president.
This doesn’t happen in a functioning democracy, but it happened yesterday.
Your best pal,
– bob
You might wonder how the various investigations into Russia’s meddling in the 2016 elections and the now 45th president’s cooperation and coordination with said meddling are coming along. At this point, it’s hard to know. The independent prosecutor, former FBI head Robert Mueller, isn’t sharing status updates. The House and the Senate, however, are holding hearings this week featuring the former FBI Director, the director of National Intelligence, and some other folks who are making Marmalade Mugabe very nervous.
This is gonna be great.
Your best pal,
– bob