The Loyal Opposition

Friends,

I follow the news pretty carefully and I think I know something about stuff like Cash For Clunkers. I’m generally against the program since it means that tomorrow’s classic cars are heading for the crusher, but a friend of mine on Facebook asked a simple question that seemed right up my alley. Here’s the transcript of a simple thing that went horribly wrong:

[Original Poster Friend] Has anyone taken advantage of the Cash for Clunkers program? I’m thinking of buying a new car this week.
9 hours ago · Comment · Like

[OP Friend #1] my buudy [redacted] just did it…aloota paperwork but pretty darn cool…they really do give good deals, i guess…
9 hours ago

[OP Friend #2] My friend up the street just got a new “Flex” from Ford using the program. He got $3500 for his clunker…
8 hours ago

[Nutso Dude] I only have a 2007 Honda to trade in and I wouldnt buy an American Car because they are shi#, I am sorry, but The Japanese and the Germans and everybody else make better cars then USA, my first Car was an Oldsmobile, but now I stick with Japanese and German Cars. If we built better cars and our Unions weren’t so greedy, American products would be # 1 again and I am sorry they arent even on the list anymore- Hate to sound negative, but We need to get back to the basics that made us great, Pride in our work,Great Products, and Loving our Country, those 3 things will make us great again!!!!
7 hours ago

[OP Friend #3] He makes sense but, I do believe that Japanese cars are also included. Get yourself a Prius.
7 hours ago

[OP Friend #4] Better go quick before the $$$ runs out!
5 hours ago

[Me] Wow. [Nutso Dude] is really wrong about the domestics. Go shop Ford and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. What are you going to trade in?
3 hours ago · Delete

Okay, that’s not so bad, I think. I called the guy out, but I was contributing to the discussion—except I started something…

[Nutso Dude – since deleted] Hey Bob, Why would You say I was wrong? Why is GM tanking? Why is Hummer almost obsolete?? Why cant American Cars compete with Japanese cars like Honda and Toyota?? When was the last time You bought a pontiac?? How about a buick?? Bob, I think You are really wrong about American Cars. why would they have to trick You into buying new ones?? Because they suck thats why !!!! Cash for Clunkers is a program that is another scam by The Obama Administration to make it look like people actually want American cars.Do me a favor Bob and Don’t flag me down When your Ford craps out on You and I am driving my Honda by You, because I will give You the finger and tell You to Buy a Honda next time moron !!!
GO YANKEES !!!
OBABAYOMAMA NO MORE!!!!

Things are going badly here. I haven’t modified the spelling or the grammar, so at this point I think it could be a joke. Poorly executed, but a put-on nonetheless. Sadly, Dude continues…

[Nutso Dude – also now deleted] My last statement I said with a lot of love-imao I wasn’t trying too sound harsh !!! Well, maybe a little-lol

Okay. Some love. This is settling down nicely. New comment is posted…

[More from Nutso Dude – deleted] Sorry about the last statement, But I usually dont say to somebody that they are wrong, because the conversation goes negative right from there. I usually say I disagree with so and so, because I think this and that, so excuse me for educating Bob on why we disagree with regard to American Cars.

I’m sure I needed an education on cars. Clearly I needed an education on Facebook etiquette. I should’ve let it go, but no…

[Again, Me] Gosh. That was a little flamey. Personally, I own two old Jeeps to get around in the snow and a used Miata to drive up and down the hill because it’s fun (but not trouble-free). I’ll stand by the Ford recommendation only because I’ve read that they have nice, reliable products out there right now. A VW Jetta TDI wagon would be a mileage and space champ though. Also worth a look.

There we go! I’ve offered my advice and I’m out. Wait! The crazy continues…

[But wait, more from Nutso – also deleted] I am retracting what I said about American Cars, because I have been a little too confrontational lately on Facebook. With that being said, I just want to say Bob that I think that Obama is a Muslim pig that is a racist and is really the White Mans Bitch, because he only works for Teddy Kennedy and the rest of the Pu$$y Ass Liberal Fa#S in the Deomocratic Party,they dont let him make the big decisions, he only gets to play President, if thats sounds too Flamey for You Bob, I am sorry, I am a New Yorker, not some liberal, Butt Pirate from California who loves everything that Obama stands for. Good Day to You Sir!!!!!!!!

[It gets better. More from Nutso – deleted from original post] Bob let me simplify, You go and spend Your $$ on a Ford and I will drive my 2007 Honda Touring Edition and Lets see where it gets us in 5 years. Your Muslim Buddy Obama is killing our country little by little, not only is the Stimulus package doing nothing, but now we are spending tax money to take off the price of American Cars?? Is that right ?? Bob, it wasn’t flamey what was said, I think You are a Flamer !!! So dont hate Bob, love that fact that I make Great money and I am willing to pay taxes so Your Malotto President and first Muslim in Chief can give all of our Money to people who don’t spend it here, they ship it back to their home countries. Man, I have met some stupid people in my day, but Bob just made me realize why We have a community Organizer for a President and that is some people in America just dont care !!!

Really? The rant is amazing, as you can see, but my faith in humanity has been restored a little in that the posts I note as deleted have been removed from my friend’s page. “A little too confrontational” doesn’t begin to describe this flaming hot mess. If this is a common sentiment around the country, we’re in big trouble.

Huge trouble.

– bob