Our New Offering

I applied (again) for a copywriting gig at a reasonably famous craft brewery in a county just South of here and their HR department politely declined the offer of my services. Before I submitted my application, I did my research and spent time on their website. This particular brewery seems to have written themselves into a very deep hole if you think about it. Their site is full of words, their packaging is full of words, and each of their many products have a pile of words apportioned to each product page. You’d think that they would have glommed onto my application like a lamprey, since as you’ve seen here, I am rarely at a loss for words. Many words. Many lots of enormous words.

This got me to thinking though—how would I write for beers? Also, how might I write for beers and incorporate (and milk endlessly) a single joke. Here’s my product announcement…

Ampersand Brewing Company Announces Latest Creation

Ampersand Brewing Company, the premier craft brewer in Northern Southern California’s famous craft brewing region, is excited to announce its latest premier craft beer—Additive Ale. Brewmaster Ann Annotherthynge has hand-selected the finest Ersatz hops from the Etcetera region of Austria, bringing the fruity nose and resplendent hearty head fans have grown accustomed to. Using the finest Furthermore yeasts and slow-hopped over months and months and months, the finish is smooth with notes of caramel, grapefruit and leather. Additive Ale will be initially available on tap at finer gastropubs, and in restaurants, and at liquor stores, and supermarkets, and in growlers on our web store, and in convenient six packs, and from taco trucks, and from other places.

Yup, just the one joke.

Your best pal in the entire world,

– bob