So, Care For International Politics?

I’ve been watching the Olympics lately and I’ve noticed a trend: sure, I want the Americans to win—as they have in some surprising places—but if they don’t, I don’t seem to mind if the gold is snatched away by a resident of one of the nations represented by the “Coalition Of The Willing.” An Italian won the bicycle road race and I cheered. He was clearly the best man in the event even though the US Postal team seemed to be phoning in their performance (neat mixed-metaphor! – ed Thanks! I thought of it all by myself. – bob). If the Aussies beat us in the pool, that’s okay because they’re with us. When (if) the French win anything, I’m sure that it will be a “hiss”-able event.

Remember how, when we were kids, that the Russians not only inspired the fear of nuclear annihilation but domination of sports like gymnastics (is that a sport? – ed Ask NASCAR drivers. They’ll tell you! – bob). It was an arms race with real arms, and legs, and heart, and everything else that defines a true athlete. How could we possibly win against the Eastern Bloc countries, what with the East German female (and I use the term loosely) swimmers, the Romanian gymnasts, the Yugoslavian basketball team beating our brains out year after deflating year?

We cajoled the IOC into allowing professionals in, that’s how. Now we have a group of spoiled millionaire NBA thugs losing to Lithuania while at the same time our other teams can lure top talent by allowing them the endorsement deals that would’ve been prohibited under the old rules.

But Lithuania is “with us,” aren’t they?

Your pal,

bob