Plaintiffs,
This lawyer stuff is driving me nuts. I guess I understand Travis Corcoran’s problem with Robert Tourtelot. Mr. Tourtelot esq. seems to be a little addled. Mr. Corcoran has halted his email war with the elderly barrister for just that reason, and that was surely the right thing to do. Where Mr. Tourtelot seemed to be uninformed on copyright law, America’s other geniuses seem to have missed the boat on trademark law.
I bought a bag of chips this afternoon and the legal team at Frito-Lay seem to think that their service marks are in danger. What do you think of when you hear Doritos? Chips? Well done. But not with them. They would like for you to be sure that you’re sure. The invigorating copy on the back of the bag references “DORITOS brand” this and “Cool Ranch brand” that. Brand, brand, brand. Yeah, we get it. It’s a brand.
They have a new flavor and they’re holding an online contest to name the flavor of X-13D. Naturally, I asked Jaunty Blog staff member Chuck Petrovitch to investigate. Here’s what he found:
It’s really fun. They have a Doritos city with some really neat music that has a map you click on to go to the secret X-13D site. I guess it’s not real secret because it’s there on the city map in real big letters. XBOX 360 is there too, but I don’t think they make chips. Anyway, you register and name the flavor. I haven’t tried the chips, so I used the name you told me. DORITOS brand BRAND Chips brand. I hope I win something big! I am going to win something, aren’t I?
Of course you are, buddy. You’ll win the satisfaction of knowing that our three readers love and respect your journalistic credentials. That should be enough.
I’ve had this particular nit to pick with the former Chrysler Group division of the former DaimlerChrysler’s Jeep Division. I guess they’re Chrysler Corporation again, but this was surely written before their divorce from the Germans. The only reason I think that is because the “brand, brand, brand” business is missing from their more forward-facing pages. Look, we’re a long way away from being confused over a Willys ‘Jeep’ Universal, a Ford GPW, and Popeye’s pal. Jeep toilet paper? Scooters? Deck screws? Chrysler legal will surely be all over them in a heartbeat (heartbeat? doesn’t chevy own that? -ed Only when they put a bowtie on my EKG.).
Can’t we all be cool? I mean, schools are ripping out playgrounds because they’re afraid of getting sued. Ladders, sleds, sun visors, they’re so covered with CYA stickers that you can hardly see the underlying product. I spent the morning working on my 1973 Jeep Commando. Lap belts, people.
Sue me.
– bob
UPDATE: Wow! I botched the first paragraph in a huge way when I first posted this thing. It’s fixed now, but Jeebus H. Chrysler!