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Friends,
In all my excitement about the 19th Amendment, I completely forgot to note the passing of the senior senator from the state of Massachusetts. All of the mainstream media sites have had obituary packages set up for months, so I won’t bore you with any of that. There’s this to think about though—does this mean healthcare reform gets forced through more quickly in honor of the Liberal Lion of the Senate? Some people think so…
– bob
Friends,
On this date 89 years ago, Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby (of the St. Louis Colbys, btw) certified the 19th Amendment to the United States Constitution. Thus, women across the country were guaranteed their right to vote.
Considering that women outnumber men in the country, this momentous occasion has led to the election of many female presidents including our 57th president, Miley Cyrus.
Congratulations, women!
– bob
Friends,
Today marks the 41st anniversary of France’s first hydrogen bomb test on the Fangataufa Atoll making her the world’s fifth nuclear power. This was also one of the last above-ground nuclear tests in the world, conducted, we presume, because the French prefer to be fashionably late to the party.
Above-ground nuclear testing has been abandoned by nearly every country because it leads to an increase in albino squirrels. Peace activists have warned that a sudden jump in the albino squirrel population would be “freaky” and “way weird,” leading to a comprehensive test ban treaty among the major nuclear powers.
Or I could still be under the influence of last night’s portobello mushroom pizza. Hard to say, really. It seemed so real…
– bob
Friends,
I haven’t found any answers to the question of the murky haze layer covering Southern California. The first two pictures aren’t of my latest chest x-rays, as you might expect, but document my camera’s struggle to deal with the low-light landscape this morning…
These two were taken a little later in Garner Valley. The fingers of gunk seem to be wrapping around the neck of the Coachella Valley, ready to squeeze the life out of the Festival of Dirt. Happy Friday!
Bigger versions are available with a click. Gianter versions are available on request.
Feel free to speculate on the nature of the bad air quality. Real or imagined answers are welcome.
– bob
UPDATE: From the Town Crier blog comes word from Cal Fire that the smoke is from the La Brea fire [warning: PDF link] 21 miles East of Santa Maria. That’s an awful long way for smoke to travel, isn’t it?
Friends,
On this day in 1981, International Business Machines introduced their first PC, the IBM Model 5150. Information technology professionals may recognize the number 5150 to stand for involuntary psychiatric hold, which allows qualified clinicians to involuntarily confine techs who have gone mad while working on IBM PCs.
This is also the 100th anniversary of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. A place where people have been known to go around the bend.
Stay sane, people.
– bob
Friends,
I follow the news pretty carefully and I think I know something about stuff like Cash For Clunkers. I’m generally against the program since it means that tomorrow’s classic cars are heading for the crusher, but a friend of mine on Facebook asked a simple question that seemed right up my alley. Here’s the transcript of a simple thing that went horribly wrong:
[Original Poster Friend] Has anyone taken advantage of the Cash for Clunkers program? I’m thinking of buying a new car this week.
9 hours ago · Comment · Like[OP Friend #1] my buudy [redacted] just did it…aloota paperwork but pretty darn cool…they really do give good deals, i guess…
9 hours ago[OP Friend #2] My friend up the street just got a new “Flex” from Ford using the program. He got $3500 for his clunker…
8 hours ago[Nutso Dude] I only have a 2007 Honda to trade in and I wouldnt buy an American Car because they are shi#, I am sorry, but The Japanese and the Germans and everybody else make better cars then USA, my first Car was an Oldsmobile, but now I stick with Japanese and German Cars. If we built better cars and our Unions weren’t so greedy, American products would be # 1 again and I am sorry they arent even on the list anymore- Hate to sound negative, but We need to get back to the basics that made us great, Pride in our work,Great Products, and Loving our Country, those 3 things will make us great again!!!!
7 hours ago[OP Friend #3] He makes sense but, I do believe that Japanese cars are also included. Get yourself a Prius.
7 hours ago[OP Friend #4] Better go quick before the $$$ runs out!
5 hours ago[Me] Wow. [Nutso Dude] is really wrong about the domestics. Go shop Ford and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. What are you going to trade in?
3 hours ago · Delete
Okay, that’s not so bad, I think. I called the guy out, but I was contributing to the discussion—except I started something…
[Nutso Dude – since deleted] Hey Bob, Why would You say I was wrong? Why is GM tanking? Why is Hummer almost obsolete?? Why cant American Cars compete with Japanese cars like Honda and Toyota?? When was the last time You bought a pontiac?? How about a buick?? Bob, I think You are really wrong about American Cars. why would they have to trick You into buying new ones?? Because they suck thats why !!!! Cash for Clunkers is a program that is another scam by The Obama Administration to make it look like people actually want American cars.Do me a favor Bob and Don’t flag me down When your Ford craps out on You and I am driving my Honda by You, because I will give You the finger and tell You to Buy a Honda next time moron !!!
GO YANKEES !!!
OBABAYOMAMA NO MORE!!!!
Things are going badly here. I haven’t modified the spelling or the grammar, so at this point I think it could be a joke. Poorly executed, but a put-on nonetheless. Sadly, Dude continues…
[Nutso Dude – also now deleted] My last statement I said with a lot of love-imao I wasn’t trying too sound harsh !!! Well, maybe a little-lol
Okay. Some love. This is settling down nicely. New comment is posted…
[More from Nutso Dude – deleted] Sorry about the last statement, But I usually dont say to somebody that they are wrong, because the conversation goes negative right from there. I usually say I disagree with so and so, because I think this and that, so excuse me for educating Bob on why we disagree with regard to American Cars.
I’m sure I needed an education on cars. Clearly I needed an education on Facebook etiquette. I should’ve let it go, but no…
[Again, Me] Gosh. That was a little flamey. Personally, I own two old Jeeps to get around in the snow and a used Miata to drive up and down the hill because it’s fun (but not trouble-free). I’ll stand by the Ford recommendation only because I’ve read that they have nice, reliable products out there right now. A VW Jetta TDI wagon would be a mileage and space champ though. Also worth a look.
There we go! I’ve offered my advice and I’m out. Wait! The crazy continues…
[But wait, more from Nutso – also deleted] I am retracting what I said about American Cars, because I have been a little too confrontational lately on Facebook. With that being said, I just want to say Bob that I think that Obama is a Muslim pig that is a racist and is really the White Mans Bitch, because he only works for Teddy Kennedy and the rest of the Pu$$y Ass Liberal Fa#S in the Deomocratic Party,they dont let him make the big decisions, he only gets to play President, if thats sounds too Flamey for You Bob, I am sorry, I am a New Yorker, not some liberal, Butt Pirate from California who loves everything that Obama stands for. Good Day to You Sir!!!!!!!![It gets better. More from Nutso – deleted from original post] Bob let me simplify, You go and spend Your $$ on a Ford and I will drive my 2007 Honda Touring Edition and Lets see where it gets us in 5 years. Your Muslim Buddy Obama is killing our country little by little, not only is the Stimulus package doing nothing, but now we are spending tax money to take off the price of American Cars?? Is that right ?? Bob, it wasn’t flamey what was said, I think You are a Flamer !!! So dont hate Bob, love that fact that I make Great money and I am willing to pay taxes so Your Malotto President and first Muslim in Chief can give all of our Money to people who don’t spend it here, they ship it back to their home countries. Man, I have met some stupid people in my day, but Bob just made me realize why We have a community Organizer for a President and that is some people in America just dont care !!!
Really? The rant is amazing, as you can see, but my faith in humanity has been restored a little in that the posts I note as deleted have been removed from my friend’s page. “A little too confrontational” doesn’t begin to describe this flaming hot mess. If this is a common sentiment around the country, we’re in big trouble.
Huge trouble.
– bob
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the temperatures have dropped precipitously over the last two days. I even think that the low tomorrow morning could drop below 45° which would be extraordinary for August. If you have camping plans in the Santa Rosas, you couldn’t pick a better weekend than this one.
Keep moist,
– The Idyllwild Weather Clam
Friends,
It would be reasonable to assume that my puppy dog idles away the hours in the forest idyll that is the Damp Dog Lodge while I toil away at the Festival of Dirt. You would expect that I would endure the lengthy and dangerous commute, the oppressive heat, and at times, the weapons-grade ignorance that comes with my job in order to provide this particular animal with the lavish lifestyle to which she has become accustomed. But now I feel betrayed.
You see, I have obtained secret photos detailing exactly what she does while I’m away and I am mortified.
That’s right. Apparently, my dog is actually running a call center out of my house during the day. (explains the cases of nutralite vitamins. – ed The beef flavored multis are starting to make more sense too.)
– bob
Bad news: the 2004 Mazda RX8 is on the revised clunker list. Good news: Cash for Clunkers is suspended for now. Most of the media are reporting that the program is out of money, but some aren’t so sure.
– bob
P.S. Thanks Jalopnik! (via The Truth About Cars)
Friends,
This story, from Namco fan and Press-Enterprise star reporter Dug Begley, has everything you’d ever want in a news report. We here at Jaunty Central took a look at this story a couple months ago, but we know that you’re craving an update. Here’s Dug’s report in its entirety.
Charred remains of suspected copper thief ID’d
By PE News on July 27, 2009 7:00 AM | Comments (0)After nearly two months officials have identified the second man electrocuted during a suspected copper theft in San Jacinto.
Brian Kersten, 48, of San Jactinto was identified despite no usable fingerprints or dental records, according to the Riverside County Coroner’s Office.
His charred remains were found June 2 in a vacant lot on Idyllwild Street.
Police said Kersten and William McDonald, 52, of San Jacinto had broken into a utility vault, presumably to steal copper wiring. Both were electrocuted in the mishap, which drew the attention of neighbors who reported fireworks and a small fire on a utility pole.
— Dug Begley
Yup, it name-checks my little town, misspells the name of the site of the attempted theft. As if that wasn’t enough, the story also features crispy criminals and also, let’s not forget, reports of fireworks.
What more could you ask for in a news story? (maybe something about the obama family dog? – ed That’s so three months ago. We’ve moved on.)
– bob
Friends,
Forty years ago today, the first American astronauts strode upon the moon. When I was three years old, I watched the moon landing on CBS. Uncle Walter, when he or his analysts couldn’t actually describe a procedure, resorted to dramatic recreations of maneuvers using spaceships on sticks and waving them around the studio. Now they were speaking my language. Did I mention I was three?
Two other things I recall were that this whole thing wouldn’t have seemed like a big deal, considering that we’d been flying around in space my entire life, but that it made Uncle Walter cry. It was either momentous or sad, and I really didn’t have the tools to tell which was which.
Now, of course, the space shuttle is docked at the International Space Station fixing the toilets. Progress!
– bob
Friends,
As you might expect, this story from the Press-Enterprise’s champion of the written word, Mr. John Asbury, is missing some important information. The bones are there though, about a man who may be seeking to make the olfactory crimes you committed after Bean Burrito Night at Taco Bell seem tame in comparison:
Man drinking gopher poison in Hemet becomes chemical risk
By PE News on July 16, 2009 6:40 AM | Comments (0)A man who drank gopher poison Monday night became a potential health risk to others as well, causing a small section of the Hemet Valley Medical Center and surrounding streets to be closed off, according to hospital and fire officials.
When ingested, two chemicals in the poison, phosphine and malathion, can mix with chemicals produced in the human body to produce toxic out-gassing, Hemet Fire Chief Matt Shobert said Wednesday.
That posed a potential risk to hospital staff and other patients, he said.
Potential? Seems like a great big imminent risk. John found somebody else to talk to though and lays down some science.
Valley Health System spokeswoman Jerri Randrup said no other patients were affected or evacuated. The man was treated in an isolated room with reverse air pressure that ventilated any toxic fumes away from any other areas.
Fire officials are unclear whether the man swallowed the poison intentionally, Shobert said. The man, whose identity was not released, remained hospitalized Wednesday, but he had transferred out of the intensive care unit and was expected to recover.
— John Asbury
So kids, as Fernando Valenzuela would remind us—be smart, stay in school—and consider not drinking gopher poison. Okay?
– bob
Friends,
Today is the day 220 years ago when average French citizens went batcrap nuts and stormed the Bastille, hoisting a giant middle finger to the monarch, Louis XVI (“Louie” to his friends). Today, Francophiles around the world celebrate by playing with balls and eating pastry.
Congratulations, France!
– bob
Friends,
It saddens me to report the loss of my friend Kevin O’Hagan. Apparently, he passed away last night after suddenly losing control of his motorcycle (UPDATE: See below). He was on his way into Seattle for a little vacation.
It was the Cap’n, who in the early 90s saw promise in an aspiring computer engineer with no formal training and brought him in to his prosthetics practice. I was hired out of a little frame shop on Ocean Beach to build a 3-D imaging system at his practice in Chula Vista because he believed that such a thing could be done inexpensively. We actually built a working prototype back then, proving that his crazy dreams weren’t really that mad after all. If I have only learned one thing from the man, it would be that it’s fine to make wild plans, but you better be willing to put some backbone in to make those plans a reality.
Your pal,
– bob
UPDATE: The news today, Friday the 10th, is that he suffered a heart attack, steered the bike to the shoulder of the highway and passed without endangering anybody else during the busy evening commute. I find this new information stunning while confirming what I already knew about him. As I reflect a bit on his life, my suspicion is that the universe could only tolerate one Kevin O’Hagan at a time. My wish is that another one, an irascible, inscrutable, closet genius, is waiting in the wings. That the next one is ready to make another lasting impression on the lives of untold thousands, the way that Kevin did. I’ll miss you, Cap.
Friends,
As a rule, I follow the news pretty closely, taking in viewpoints from across the ideological spectrum as much as I can. However, some celebrities croaked a few days ago and the ceaseless rehashing of minute details became very tired, very quickly. I had houseguests for the holiday weekend, after all, so the news could wait.
I was wrong.
Alaska Governor Sarah Palin resigned her office in a masterful speech (video link) last Friday that I completely missed until spotting the story above the fold in the L.A. Times newspaper box on Saturday. Patrick Henry demanded liberty or death, Dr. Martin Luther King had a dream, and Mrs. Palin will steer Alaska in a new direction by no longer holding the highest elected office in that state. Genius!
Her rambling, shambling discourse swaying from paranoid to put-upon to put out may be best remembered as a) oddly timed, b) hastily given and c) just not as good as Richard Nixon’s “you won’t have Nixon to kick around any more” speech. She has eighteen months remaining in her term as governor, leading some to speculate on her motives for resigning. I think I’d like to mix and match. She’s pregnant and nutso, needs to earn some speaking fees to feather the nest before the book tour, then she’ll run for Senate unless she loses. Then she’ll do the talk show on Fox (Huckabee & Friends?).
It’s been a tough week for Republican governors, hasn’t it?
– bob