But If You Call In The Next Thirty Minutes

Oh sure, just keep grinning...
Friends,

It would be reasonable to assume that my puppy dog idles away the hours in the forest idyll that is the Damp Dog Lodge while I toil away at the Festival of Dirt. You would expect that I would endure the lengthy and dangerous commute, the oppressive heat, and at times, the weapons-grade ignorance that comes with my job in order to provide this particular animal with the lavish lifestyle to which she has become accustomed. But now I feel betrayed.

You see, I have obtained secret photos detailing exactly what she does while I’m away and I am mortified.


That’s right. Apparently, my dog is actually running a call center out of my house during the day. (explains the cases of nutralite vitamins. – ed The beef flavored multis are starting to make more sense too.)

– bob