Author: bob

Posted on

Our Amazing News Media – Something’s Missing Edition

Rustic, no?
Friends,

The news desk here at Jaunty Central is humming at least 24 hours a week to bring you aggregate the latest news about Idyllwild (or containing the word “Idyllwild” somewhere in the text). This morning, chilling news about a man who appears to be a pencil distributor. The Press-Enterprise’s own John Asbury has some, but not all of the details:

Man arrested outside Idyllwild school
6:15 AM Tue, May 12, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Posted by: PE News

An Idyllwild man was arrested Monday after deputies said he was offering children pencils outside a school.

A parent called authorities to report that a man tried to lure four 11-year-old students to his car to give them pencils outside the Idyllwild School, according to a Riverside County sheriff’s report.

Police arrested [some dude], 64, on suspicion of child annoyance and a probation violation.

I get the annoyance part. If he was handing out Wacom tablets and copies of Photoshop, they might have changed their tune a little. My question (and yours too, I would think) is what is this fella on probation for? My guess is not for the wanton distribution of writing implements…

– bob

UPDATE: Leave it to the Town Crier to flesh out the story. We still don’t know why this guy’s on probation, but J.P. still brings the goods in this week’s paper:

Man arrested at school

By J.P. Crumrine, News Editor

[Some dude], 64, of Idyllwild, was arrested last Friday on suspicion of annoying children at Idyllwild School. Principal Matt Kraemer sent a note home with the students alerting parents to the situation.

On Thursday, a man apparently approached several students and offered them free pencils to use for the state testing exams, which had already concluded. The man told children that if they accompanied him to his car, he would give them the pencils.

None of the students whom he approached complied. Instead, several came to the school office and reported the man, who was gone by the time Kraemer went searching for him.

On Friday, a suspect fitting the same description repeated his solicitation with an 11-year-old girl and her three friends who were on the school steps. Her parent reported this to the school and the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department.

While Kraemer was discussing the incident with a sheriff’s deputy, [that dude] entered the office area to complain that a parent had tried to abridge his free-speech right.

Kraemer escorted [that same dude] into his office and listened to his complaint. After informing him that the right does not carry onto school grounds and children, the officer arrested [the dude].

Late Friday morning, [creepy dude] was booked at the Southwest Detention Facility for annoying school children and violation of probation, according to Sgt. Stephen Mike of the Sheriff’s Department Hemet Station.

Free speech? Are you kidding? And by the way, how great is it that exactly none of the kids at the school fell for this joker’s “solicitation?”

Posted on

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

No, not Bank of America. Please.
Friends,

Today is the day that Mexicans all over the world celebrate the day in 1904 when Cy Young pitched the first perfect game in American League history while playing for the Boston Americans. Huzzah! the Mexicans cheered on that day 105 years ago. So tonight, when you’re on your 27th tequila shot, getting tired and emotional, remember the reason for the season—Denton “Cy” Young.

– bob

Posted on

Two Sentences From A Book – Mexico Edition

The Little Jaunty Players
– Proudly Present –
– An Ongoing Feature –
– That You Should Savor Before It’s Too Late –
– Right Here –
– In This Very Space –
– From Another Time and Another Place –

Two Sentences From A Book!

“In the second dynasty of Tilantongo, the codices have much to tell about a great warlord named 8 Deer “Jaguar Claw,” who lived during the Calendar Round which began in AD 1063 and ended in 1115. When he rose to power, he attacked a town known as Red and White Bundle, located to the east of Tilantongo, sacrificing both the lord of that place and (somewhat unchivalrously) his wife Lady 6 Monkey, who had been princess of Mountain of the Place of Sand.”

Who then migrated to the Asian subcontinent, changed his name to 1 Dog Millionaire and proceeded to the Lightning Round. Or something like that.

Posted on

This Amazing Year – The Death Of Pontiac

Stock photo, but the right color!Friends,

It looks like General Motors, in a last-ditch effort to extend their line of guvmint credit, have made the decision to kill Pontiac. “See! We’re really trying! …to completely ruin our company! Happy now?”

Luckily, there doesn’t seem to be a current Pontiac model (except the G8, oops) that’s actually unique in North America. Mom’s Pontiac Torrent, for example has sisters at the Chevrolet, GMC, Saturn and Suzuki dealerships. She’ll get parts during her government-sponsored warranty, and that’s good for all of us. No, really. You wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of Mom and a warranty claim. If you’re Steve Rattner, the head of the President’s Automotive Task Force, you may be under investigation for your private equity shenanigans, but your secretary isn’t paid enough to deal with the angry phone calls should the Torrent have a misfire. Just sayin’.

But you cats are the best and brightest, right?

Right?

– bob

Posted on

The Sunrise Series Returns For April

Friends,

Really I had no choice. I had to stop for a few shots of the sunrise this morning…

Sunrise At Paradise Corners, April 24th 2009
I haven’t done any color correction at all, but the camera might’ve underexposed the view a bit. Here’s a shot taken less than five minutes later…

Same Sunrise At Paradise Corners, April 24th 2009
If you click on these thumbnails, by the way, you’ll be able to see much bigger versions. This isn’t recommended for slow connections though, since the originals are relatively large.

Happy Friday!

– bob

Posted on

Amazon Recommends…

Now THAT'S booty shakin'Friends,

You know how much I like the Detroit Cobras, so it’ll come as no surprise that when I saw a link to their new album on Amazon, I had to click. You can download the MP3s from there, which is nice (and cheap!) and sample some of their other albums, like Mink Rat or Rabbit (pictured above). Amazon being Amazon offered some helpful suggestions on other things I might like to go along with my new music purchase:

Customers Viewing This Page May Be Interested in These Sponsored Links
Rodent Pest Control
WeGotYaPestControl.com Rodent Pest Control. New Customers Receive 20% Discount. Call Today!
Rat Rabbit
Yahoo.com Looking for Rat Rabbit? Find exactly what you want today.
Rabbits
California.local.com Find California Rabbits California’s Online Local Search.

Looks like somebody’s gonna need to put on some pants.

– bob

Posted on

Two Sentences From A Book! – For The Children

The Little Jaunty Players
– Proudly Present –
– An Ongoing Feature –
– That You Have To See To Believe –
– Right Here –
– Not Kidding –
– Back For Another Glorious Year –

Two Sentences From A Book!

“Card games are the foremost indoor recreation where parents and children can meet on a common ground of interest, without a feeling on the part of the children that parents are merely pretending interest in the juvenile toys. Many parents have found that card games, with their rules and their etiquette, are a powerful force in weaning children away from the “Me first!” and “That’s mine!” and “I want it all!” of infancy.”

Um, Nintendo on line seven…

Posted on

‘Ere Comes Pee Coddontay…

That's right. It's cake.Friends,

Yes, yes, yes. Easter was yesterday and what I did for the hippity-hoppity occassion was really next to nothing. Saturday, however, was a very different story. You could say that it was my niece’s birthday and you’d be pretty close, plus or minus a couple days. You could also say that it was a good day to view my brand new nephew, and you’d also be right. Despite what everyone else has been saying, you’re pretty clever after all!

Here are a couple of cute little kid shots:

The birthday girl.
Here’s the birthday girl on the swing in her backyard. Her cousin, who had been pushing the swing, decided that something more entertaining demanded her attention. Kinda cold, no?

Now that's a big boy.
And this, is young master William. In this particular shot, he’s waving off your humble paparazzo. They teach them that very early in Los Angeles.

I should have more pictures up this afternoon as appendices to this post. Until then…

Your pal,

– bob

Posted on

Not Just Good, It’s Great!

I'm sure this is what they meant.Friends,

Today is Good Friday, also known as Holy Friday, Great Friday, or cheerily Black Friday. This is a day that Wall Street traders take off from work so that they don’t continue to plunge the markets into further chaos.

Thank heaven for small favors.

– bob

Posted on

Better Not Pout

From Flickr via the Wired Auto Blog.Friends,

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout and I’m telling you why; Passover begins tonight!

So be good for goodness sake.

– bob

Posted on

Day Presumed To Be Peachy – Pink, Fuzzy

Yeah, I got nothing.Friends,

Not to get all Andy Rooney on you, but did you ever notice that some days the universe provides signs that you should’ve just stayed in bed? Like how all of the lights are red during your morning commute? Maybe how the light bulbs blow out in the bathroom while you’re taking a shower? Or how you realize that the milk is bad only after drenching your Cheerios?

Well, it’s only 7:00 AM here at the Festival of Dirt and not only are the phones failing internally, but now all of our lines out are gone. Normally, I’d just place a repair call and that would be the end of it, but talking on the phone seems to be very important to people. Also people get edgy if they can’t transmit pictures from one scanning phototelegraph to another. Therefore, I will receive fifty panicked calls asking me if I’m aware of the situation. “Yes Virginia,” I will say to somebody who is not named Virginia, “I’ve called the phone company and they’re going to fix it by 10:00.” I’ll leave it to you to imagine the remainder of the conversation.

What else is in store for a Tuesday? More trouble? Stay tuned!

– bob

Posted on

Can I Claim You This Year?

Click-clack, click-clack.Friends,

As you well know, it’s tax season. What you don’t know is that I’ve been in a bit of a panic about it (maybe because your recent posts have been few and far between? – ed Could be!). Yesterday, I finally fired up H&R Block’s Tax Cut and got to work.

After a mercifully short time, there was the damage. Four hundred bucks to the state and the Feds. “Crap! Those bastards are greedy this year!” I cracked to no one but the cowering dog. What could’ve changed from last year when I got a big fat refund? I don’t know because I can’t find last year’s return. That would’ve been helpful too because in order to file electronically, you need to use last year’s adjusted gross income as an ersatz PIN number (in addition to an actual PIN number, only one has to be right). Can’t find your 2007 AGI? Just call this IRS toll-free number! Sunday in April, a week and a half before the deadline, and the IRS is closed. Good thinking.

I had to find that return, so the search continued—right until I found yet another mortgage interest statement to add to the mix. Look! The numbers are now within ten bucks of last year (now only the great state of California is run by greedy bastards). Now I can live without electronic filing. Now some semblance of order has returned.

Next year, I fully hope to report additional income from your patronage of the fine advertisers on the right of the page. My accounting so far indicates that I’ve earned well over a nickel. That’s solid progress towards the financial viability of this enterprise, but we can surely do much more. Maybe ratchet the check up to an entire dime!

Your pal,

– bob