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March 31, 2010

The Justice System

Friends,

The geography-challenged papercrats running the Riverside County court system thought it’d be neat for me sit in a jury room in the city of Riverside today. I’ve never been to the court there and those who’ve been staring at words I’ve posted here for a while would presume that this thought made me a nervous wreck. What you may not know is that I’ve been issued a Motorola Droid at work. A lot of phones have mapping applications, of course, but this one has free built-in turn-by-turn maps missing from others (ahem! iPhone!). Neat, I thought, constantly updating maps that I’ll need to refer to instead of the degraded freeways along the way. What could go wrong? Then I tapped the Navigation icon. Hello! What’s this? Mrs. Droid is now telling me where to go (you do seem to have that effect. – ed).

Not just which turns to take at the last minute, but advance warning as well. I would’ve liked some repeats and hoped that some voice input might’ve been rolled in as well, but I couldn’t get a response from “what?” “huh?” “say again?” or even “repeat.” I’m sure someone will comment that I’m missing something, but I’d love to know how to make it work better.

By the way, the judge dismissed me from a trial this morning after my halting, sputtering plea that I can’t afford to lose that much pay. The woman dismissed before me had her service rescheduled after explaining that she’d have to care for her husband after eye surgery. Eye surgery, people. I think I will never understand their system.

– bob

March 26, 2010

Road Resurfacing In Anza

Maybe a delicious beverage might help.

Friends,

Next week, the State Route 371 Pavement Rehabilitation Project begins in earnest. I don’t think I need to tell you how exciting this is for the residents of Anza, Aguanga, and the proud Cahuilla people. Next Monday, Tuesday and Thursday should be an absolute joy for those hoping to drive between, say, Temecula and Garner Valley. Or San Diego and Palm Desert. Or even Oceanside and Thousand Palms… (you’re getting a little carried away, aren’t you? -ed)

The first step is admitting that drivers will have a problem…

– bob

from Caltrans (warning: PDF link) via the Town Crier. Thanks JP!

March 24, 2010

I Knew It!

Friends,

Speaking of newspapers, the Palm Springs Desert Sun is one of them. Occasionally, when they post an article on the world wide internets, someone in the community will comment, and sometimes the comment is better than the story itself. Here is that comment taken out of context copied verbatim for your amusement.

Look at them. Plotting and scheming…

Bill Emmerson is the problem! He is a Sacramento Special Interest Politician controlled by the Dentists.

In Fact, he used to be a lobbyist for the dentists in Sacramento before they spent over $4000,000.00 to by him the 63rd Assembly seat in Rancho Cucamonga.

They are again spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to try to buy him this senate seat. Why you may ask? so prisoners can continue to get free dental care and that illegal immigrants can also get free dental care through taxpayer subsidized programs Bill voted for.

John Benoit also received hundreds of thousands of dollars from the dentists and they were very upset when he left them in a lurch so he could take the supervisor’s appointment.

This time the dentists are leaving nothing to chance, they convinced one of their own, Bill Emmerson, to rent a room in Hemet and run for the seat.

They know they can trust one of their own to never betray them and keep them driving taxpayer provided BMW’s and Mercedes Benzes!

3/20/2010 7:30:44 AM

With their drills and their spit sinks, was there ever any doubt? Wake up people!

– bob

March 24, 2010

This Seems Bad**

Friends,

Today’s story on the Riverside Press-Enterprise blog seems troubling. Apparently, our local retirement and manufactured home haven has themselves a wee little gang problem. For some reason, the city isn’t too enamored of the motorcycle-based social clubs in town, so it’s not a big surprise to learn that those dapper young gentlemen have taken it upon themselves to retaliate against this scrutiny. John Asbury takes it from here:

Hemet police are investigating four city code enforcement pickups that were torched in the city lot about 11:30 p.m. Hemet police have closed several blocks of Florida Avenue after the fires were reported to police. Both the vehicles and City Hall were vacant. No one was injured, Hemet Police Chief Richard Dana said.

Police arrived within about a minute of the fire and found the trucks completely destroyed. Police are considering it a threat against the Police Department and the city. Detectives have not determined how the vehicles were ignited, but reported no explosions.

Now if you stop right there, that’s bad enough. Setting fires to city-owned pickup trucks is pretty serious, I think you’ll agree, but as another installment in our continuing series—It’s Related—Mr. Asbury lays out the other bizarre crap that’s been going on in Southern Riverside County’s former potato capital…

On New Year’s Eve, the gasline to the Hemet-San Jacinto Valley Gang Task Force was rerouted to fill the office with natural gas, aimed at triggering an explosion when officers went inside to start working.

The same building was targeted again in February when a gun was rigged to the gate of the Gang Task Force office and fired a bullet, missing an officer as he was opening the parking lot.

A week later, a Hemet gang officer discovered a deadly device beneath his car designed to kill the officer, before it fell off in a gas station parking lot.

Unnamed sources have offered on deep background that there has also been internet chatter between groups in the San Jacinto valley and one Acme Corporation.

Earthquake pills. That’ll never work…

– bob

**UPDATE: Well, well, well. Look who finally has come to the reporting party. It’s our old friends at the Los Angeles Times. Mr. Kelly hits on the points I made here, of course, but misses the potatoes and the cartoon violence reference. I think that we should cut him some slack though. After all, he’s just a journalist.

March 23, 2010

Grapes.

Friends,

The healthcare bill passed in the House. The Congressional Budget Office thinks that this measure will be revenue-positive, but I think that our nation is now richer for other reasons. I come to this from a position of believing that the health of our fellows is a fundamental right. Period. I would’ve been in favor of a universal healthcare plan if that could’ve been reconciled with free market incentives to innovate. In my own experience, mandates for electronic health record systems haven’t led to a great breakthrough, but rather “good enough” solutions.

If this bill has any genius at all, it’s that there’s an incentive to make better cheaper. The rules of medicine have changed, but those of us in tech are used to the rules changing on a dime. Or because it’ll save a dime. We can make money in this new environment, maybe not as much, but now we’ll be doing more good for more people. If that’s not what you’re into, I hear China could use a new search engine…

Your pal,

– bob

March 17, 2010

Happy Saint Patrick’s Day

Friends,

Today is Saint Patrick’s Day, when people put food coloring in beer and rivers to celebrate the death of a guy who used a shamrock to illustrate a religious principle to 5th Century Irish people. Your coworkers might insist that you wear something green today, to celebrate the snakes that weren’t likely to even be in Ireland that Saint Patrick most probably didn’t drive anywhere. Because you’re not wearing green, they might give you a little pinch. This is an important tradition which, according to the Annals of Ulster, allows you to punch that person in the throat. It’s not very nice, of course, but that’s the tradition and you have to stick with it.

And what better way to cure a bruised throat than a nice room temperature pint of Guinness!

– bob

March 15, 2010

Daring Photography!

Friends,

Can photography be dangerous? Like when you’re taking a shot over the windshield header at speed?

Yes, especially when the ambient temperature is relatively low and your fingertips experience a little chill.

Slaving for my craft,

– bob

March 15, 2010

Toddler Birthday Happy Photo Blort!

Friends,

I trundled down the hill to attend my nephew (and godson, btw) William’s first birthday. The birthday boy was pretty happy about the whole thing, even if the cake decorators may have been phoning it in…

…but the party favors were laid out with care…

Even the birthday boy’s sister was in fine form…

…right up until the bubbles I brought ran out.

Happy birthday, William!

– (uncle) bob

March 13, 2010

Cosmo Makes Me Feel

Friends,

It’s Friday and I know that you’ve absolutely had it with making big decisions this week, but let’s face facts—your car is kinda crappy with its unintended acceleration and the floormats and whatnot. What you really need is a car that evokes horse racing, rainy parking lots, smiling ladies, and has its own line of man swag. Not enough? I’ll bet your car doesn’t have a theme song like the ’77 Mazda Cosmo AP does. I think you’re going to be going out on a test drive this weekend.

…for another car. That has those things. That wasn’t discontinued over 30 years ago. Sigh.

– bob

March 12, 2010

Yeah, We’re Old**

yeah, it's Nina. Friends,

Today, Nina Hagen turns 55. Another data point in the continuing stream confirming that we’re old.

That is all.

– bob

**UPDATE: That is not all after all. Sadly, Merlin Olsen passed away today. I’m not a big Father Murphy or Little House on the Prairie fan, but I did have the Mattel Instant Replay with the football pack, featuring Mister Olsen’s finest plays for the Los Angeles Rams, narrated by (I think) Dick Enberg. Rest in peace.

March 9, 2010

Sympathy for Microsoft Office

Why? In the name of all that’s right, why? click to embiggen.

Friends,

I decided a little while ago to hold hold office hours for staff here at the Festival of Dirt, just like your professors at the Universidad de Monos Chillando did to help you out with your coursework way back when. The first session yesterday was lightly attended, even though I billed it as “the most fun you’re likely to have today.” Maybe next time I should bring treats.

– bob

P.S. Any tips on how to make Powerpoint interesting? Or, more to the point, any tips on how to discuss Powerpoint without a flaming pentagram spontaneously forming on the floor and a gaping hole to the darkest reaches of damnation opening up? Thanks in advance for your help!

UPDATE: Why do girls like any sort of computer camp? Because of this:

Sigh.

from The Daily What via BoingBoing. Thanks!

March 5, 2010

Great, Now What?

Friends,

I’ve been trying to write a post about an interaction I’m in the middle of on Facebook, but every angle I try to take on the subject seems, well, not interesting. That story is hereby spiked. What will go up is something else entirely, starting with another picture of an oddly proportioned Japanese car from the way-back machine…

1961 Subaru Roadster (that may have a different name that I can’t read because it’s in Japanese on their site). Rear-engine, 23 horsepowers of fury!

We were all entertained yesterday by the news that fierce gay rights opponent, Republican State Senator Roy Ashburn was pulled over for a DUI departing from a gay nightclub on Wednesday morning. One of those universe self-leveling moments, I think. Then I learn this morning that legal gay marriage in Mexico City had taken effect yesterday. Predominantly conservative and Catholic Mexico City? The one in Mexico? And we can’t manage it in California, which I still find baffling.
As you know, I’m a registered Democrat, but I have been fairly vocal about my “Anybody but Barbara Boxer” campaign this November. The problem is that the opponent with the highest name recognition in California is Carly Fiorina. If you put aside my animosity against her based on her record at HP that killed my last job, her mouth isn’t doing her any favors right now. She thinks that she’s a better candidate because Boxer beats white men, she’s anti-choice, and shares Sarah Palin’s values (whatever that means. sounds like pandering to tea partiers to me. – ed Check!). So maybe not anybody-anybody. Maybe Tom Campbell can help…
You remember former speaker of the California assembly Karen Bass, don’t you? She’s running for the Congressional seat being vacated by Diane Watson this year. She’s also the one who donated $20k to a ballot initiative to dissolve the citizen’s redistricting panel. Well, as a parting gift to her Democratic caucus foot soldiers in our very broke state assembly, she promoted twenty staff members and gave them 10% raises in her last days as leader. Could stunts like this account for the deep financial hole the state’s in? Is this the same speaker who kept banging the drum about “revenue enhancements” to plug the state deficit?

Whew! Now that we’ve covered that, what’s for lunch?

Your pal,

– bob

March 2, 2010

Monday Not Dealing With Real Events Post

Friends,

The brilliant Hemmings blog has been running a series on the history of the Nissan Skyline, known to most here in the states as the mighty GT-R. While you should check in on all of the posts in the series (Ken and Mary!), today’s installment features this bit that made me laugh out loud…

1981 Nissan Skyline hatchback 2000 Turbo GT-EX RHR30. Eighties turbo hatchbackery–does it get any better? NO IT DOES NOT shut up.

Checking in on bizarre Japanese high performance weirdness seems preferable today to dealing with the phone monopoly at work, the unreasonable demands of my co-workers, and other work things. Basking in the bright-white glare of yesterday’s future, for me anyway, keeps me off the dock in tomorrow’s (justifiable) homicide trial. You can get behind that, can’t you?

Your pal,

– bob

P.S. Not sure what to do about the nattering nabobs of negativism up here who thought my idea to save the Chamber of Commerce’s site was rubbish. Should we go ahead with it anyway? Thoughts?

February 24, 2010

Gentlemen! Start Your Denials!

Friends,

Toyota USA President Jim Lentz testified in front of Congress today and let members of the country’s most hated profession ask him pointed, self-aggrandizing questions filled with OUTRAGE! Lentz brought the statements, though, including this prepared thing…

“We are confident that no problems exist with the electronic throttle control system in our vehicles. We have designed our electronic throttle control system with multiple fail-safe mechanisms to shut off or reduce engine power in the event of a system failure. We have done extensive testing of this system and have never found a malfunction that caused unintended acceleration.”

Throttle-by-wire systems scare the snot out of me as a rule. Look, the robots are clearly out to kill us, that’s a given. The idea that a company as gigantic, wealthy and pervasive as Toyota can’t design an economical car without resorting to cutting the mechanical throttle linkage is pretty troubling to me. Can’t figure that out? Really?

Maybe they have let their customers down—by being punks.

– bob

February 22, 2010

Tremendously Tremendous**

Friends,

I heard on the radio this morning that a minor league baseball team has decided to upgrade their menu with the Twinkie Dog, which would be a hot dog served in a fried Twinkie, smothered in cheese. This turns out not to be true. Minorleaguedugout.com has the story on the new delicious treats served up this season by the Atlantic City Surf. And it just so happens that there’s no cheese on their Twinkie Dog because “that’s just gross.” Wipe that tear from your eye right now, gourmands. The Surf’s Twinkie Dog does wrap the hot dog in bacon, which I presume is not gross.

The Twinkie Dog pictured above is from a 2008 episode of Good Food on KCRW, and does feature cheese. The larger question in all of this is how much larger do you need to be? Personally, not much, and I have no desire whatsoever to try these things, the Atlantic City Surf’s Surf Burger, (Two quarter-pound hamburgers, three pieces of cheese, four slices of bacon, lettuce and tomatoes, between two funnel cakes.) or the now classic Krispy Kreme Chicken Sandwich, made popular at county fairs across this expanding land of ours. I need a Tums just thinking about it.

– bob

** Hey, how about that hockey game yesterday? I don’t remember watching hockey on television ever being so engaging. Maybe it was because our team was winning, or there was a lot on the line, or maybe it was the running commentary. Wish they could all be like that.