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Friends,
Thanksgiving in the United States is tomorrow. Some people in this country will eat turkey to celebrate and I will stare at them while enjoying my Tofurkey soda. Make sure to rest your eyes to prepare for the delightful photo onslaught to come. That’s because we care.
Your pal,
bob
Friends,
Former Democrat, now party-of-me Connecticut Senator Joseph I. Lieberman has decided that any mention of a public insurance option in the Senate version of the health care bill must go. The idea that several large health insurance companies are based in his state and have contributed handsomely to his campaigns had no impact on his decision. Clearly, Vinegar Joe sees that a market-based solution to making health care available and affordable to everyone must be the best approach—because it’s worked so well up to this point, I might add. So I will.
BTW, he’s the 60th vote to close debate and force a vote on the bill, in case you’ve lost your scorecard.
So the public option we’re left with at the moment is either your traditional tar and feathers, or perhaps the more viscerally satisfying torches and pitchforks. See? Who says they’ve limited your right to choose?
– bob
Friends,
General Motors, the global manufacturing behemoth that we American taxpayers *cough* own, just doesn’t seem to understand what vehicles Americans can actually use. I haven’t been shy about my hope that somebody will bring back the compact pickup of the 70s. No, not the metal dashboard, lowest common denominator death wagons we drove back then, but not the squished versions of full-sized trucks Nissan and Toyota are pushing.
Could we use Brazilian front wheel drive unibody pickup with a 1.8 liter flex fuel four? Could GM own the segment for small pickups with a vehicle they already build with a motor they already (I think) sell here? A segment that Volkswagen and Chrysler abandoned in these United States nearly thirty years ago?
Could they sell enough to make enough money to give you and me back our money? Could you use one? Discuss.
– bob
NOTE: The ’84 Dodge Rampage picture in the Chrysler link is our friend Nick’s very own trucklet seen at Nick’s Garage. He’s a good guy, really knows his stuff and I’m sure this Fiat thing is killing him. Thanks, Nick!
Friends,
There’s breaking news coming out of Elsinore this morning. Shocking news about a critter. The Riverside Press-Enterprise’s very own Duke of Didact has the details:
JUST IN: Horse joins commute in Perris
By PE NewsA horse has joined the morning commute today near busy Highway 74 between Perris and Elsinore, according to the California Highway Patrol website.
The critter was reported walking in traffic lanes at 5:44 a.m. along Theda Street just north of Highway 74.
Animal control authorities have been summoned.
—Richard Brooks
Is it just me, or do you not consider an animal as large as a horse to be a “critter“? I thought the term was reserved for the opossum, raccoons, and other, you know, varmints. Discuss.
– bob
Friends,
I believe this fine new (thankfully) limited-edition product confidently answers a question that nobody has asked. And I mean nobody.
– bob
Editor’s Note: unless the question is “how can jones soda make a marketing splash and create some much-needed interest?” i know, buzzkill. – ed
(from the Chicago Sun-Times via Consumerist. Thanks!)
UPDATE: Please take some time to visit Cake Wrecks when you get the chance. Where else can you cast your gaze (and glaze) upon a turkey cake!
Friends,
Today is Veteran’s Day. That these proud men and women only get a single day to honor their service seems not to be enough. I’d like to propose that we recognize their sacrifice every day in a very particular way. While every single veteran of our armed services should have every possible need provided for them in perpetuity, at least you can do something symbolic to show your support.
I suggest that you befriend a veteran tomorrow and take them for a ride in your Jeep. Your new friend should be reminded that things might get bouncy.
– bob
Friends,
On this day in 1975, the SS Edmund Fitzgerald sunk in Lake Superior, along with her crew of 29. This led to Gordon Lightfoot writing and performing one of the most annoying and hated songs in the history of all recorded music (more annoying than the monster mash? – ed That’s a tough call.)
– bob
Friends,
You may remember back a few hundred days ago when we bought a ten percent stake in the Chrysler Corporation, then gave the company to the quality mavens at Fiat. The day before yesterday, the new bosses unveiled their plans for new products. If the company lives long enough, it appears that they’re looking to build some real crap. I’m really only interested in Jeep though, and there was a presentation for that (warning: PDF link). Let’s take a look at how little they understand the American market!
What first caught my eye was their discussion of the history of the brand…
First crossover? (it’s not hyphenated, by the way. and what the hell is with the greengrocer’s apostrophe? -ed That’s my gig, isn’t it?) Are they talking about this, perhaps?
Elegance WITH capability is clearly evident here, so we can’t quibble there. Just look!
But what about the children? Jeep appeals to everyone, after all. But how on earth can we indoctrinate the children? It’s already happening, people…
Jeep has also inspired people to join together all over the world to chase oil leaks and replace broken axles. Even in Hemet…
But moving forward, how will Jeep keep the hardcore fans involved while appealing to new buyers? The lifestyle set, if you will…
Um, holy crap? Is this the new face of Jeep? The clip art lady with a cheap hat? I’m sure we’ll see her at the next Jamboree in her Compass. Along with this guy…
He might be from Hemet. Or somewhere else…
Oh, you young aspirationals. So furry. Maybe you’re not interested in rockcrawling after all. We can help…
Can we talk about genetic mutations for a moment? Perhaps you’d like a Fiat Panda with a seven-slot grille in 2013.
WTF.
– bob
UPDATE: Oops! Forgot to credit The Truth About Cars and Allpar. Thanks guys!
UPDATE II: It turns out that Chrysler Corp. dealers hate the new ads too. Kinda like saying that leeches are sick and tired of the whole vampire meme, but we’ll take it where we can get it.
Friends,
I had no idea that this year marked Smokey Bear’s 65th anniversary, but apparently everyone else did, including El Orosito Bombero himself who got something of a makeover this year. A new suit, a new ad campaign, new videos, and you can even friend him on Facebook. It’s a far cry from his previous social networking campaign…
All this leads up to Adventure Pass free day in the national forests on Veteran’s Day, November 11th. Come enjoy the joint for free and refrain from burning it down, okay?
Your pal,
bob
Friends,
As promised, but very late, here are a couple nifty shots of tiny brand new baby Esme (no accent acute? -ed No, sorry. I’ve been corrected. That’s too pretentious.). I haven’t heard an update, but I’m guessing that she’s now forty pounds and four feet tall. Maybe more!
I’m going to go edit Wikipedia right now because there’s the new definition of cute. You’re welcome, internet!
– bob
Friends,
Soupy Sales has died. He was 83. The undisputed king of pie throwing (save the angry letters, Three Stooges fans), there appears to be quite a lot about his life still in dispute. Take a moment and compare the New York Times’ obituary to the more extensive Los Angeles Times’ article. How many pies again?
Why does everything have to be such a struggle around these internets? Cripes.
– bob
Friends,
Assorted live versions of influenza virii still inhabit the “spray” emitted from the pie holes of passers-by here at work, so at the moment of this writing, I’m hiding in my office. I can’t begin to tell you how thrilled I am about this, so I’ll start somewhere around the middle: since my asthma diagnosis prevented me from enjoying the inhaled version of the swine flu vaccine, I get to wait for the injectable version to arrive in a week or two. We have also not received the vaccine against the seasonal flu, putting me in a position uglier than an inside-out monkey**.
I’ve always said that the I.T. tomfoolery I undertake daily is 90% customer relations, with only a tiny sliver of my time performing actual technical work, which is true enough. The customer service part is getting harder and harder though, as I spend more of my time asking people not to breathe on me. Or touch me. Or inquire about the last time a sanitizer was let loose upon their desk, keyboard, and the armrests on their chair.
If you need any evidence of how poor a patient I can be, just look back to last weekend. I had injured my back last week and spent the entire weekend laying down on the couch complaining to the puppy dog about how much my back hurt. I also complained to my imaginary friends on Facebook, callers on the phone and the checker at the market. As unsufferability goes, I may have won a prize as the unsufferablist with what seems now as a mild sprain. Should I contract the flu – THE FLU! – I will surely turn into a sniveling, hacking monster. An incapacitated baby-man who will be useless, save for the temptation of the puppy dog to forcibly remove my face for lack of kibble in her bowl at regular intervals.
So I thank you all in advance, or at least I should, for not getting your stuff on me. Also, I appreciate that you’ve received your swine flu vaccination and are doing your part to protect me. Your generosity and sacrifice has not gone unnoticed. Just please keep the mask on for a couple more days, would you?
– bob
** Apologies to Jeremy Clarkson who is not even a right-side-out monkey, but sure can turn a phrase.
Friends,
I know that the story about the future conspiring to break the Large Hadron Collider so that we don’t, you know, DESTROY THE UNIVERSE has been floating around. People have mostly dismissed it as either geekery or fantasy. I’ve asked Doctor Morgan to comment on Facebook, but he’s been eerily silent on the subject. Maybe he’s getting paid off with future Euros to keep his mouth shut, but that’s just a rumor.
The future, ladies and gentlemen; it’s not to be trifled with.
Your pal,
bob
Friends,
Yesterday, my lovely sister gave birth to a 9 lb, 14 oz. baby girl named Esmé. No pictures yet, but here’s a sketch showing what we think she looks like…
artist’s interpretation
As you know, Esmé can be used as the shortened version of Esmeralda…
…but I don’t think that’s the case here.
Speaking of Alice Ghostley, I don’t think our little Esmé has anything to do with this person either…
…or even the Enterprise Social Messaging Experiment.
Maybe I’m overthinking this…
Your pal,
(proud new) uncle bob
P.S. This post is our 1,600th. Thanks for hanging in there!
UPDATE: We have an updated post with cute baby pictures. Hooray!
Friends,
I spent almost an hour last night with a pollster asking me what I thought of the major car manufacturers doing business in the United States (but no questions about tesla? – ed They didn’t even ask about Fiat. Hell, they didn’t even know that Chrysler owned GEM.). Do I trust the big Detroit 1.5 that we Americans currently own? Not so much. Are they making strides to care for their workers? Aw geez, not really. Technological leaders? They might want to lead their own selves to financial stability first, so no. The big question…
“Are you likely to consider a Buick for your next car purchase?”
Laughter.
– bob
