Friends!
Happy New Year everybody! There was certainly a lot to dislike about 2008, so the firing squad is lining up and taking aim. The assembled throngs are cheering with a morbid glee. “Take that, crappy economy!” the chant begins. “Burn in hell, corrupt politicians!” “Screw you, yammering chatterers!” “May giant amazons play field hockey with your skulls, genocidal madmen!”
Of course, it’s been 2009 for some time in most of the world with peace and goodwill already taking hold. Alternatively, they could already be asleep, but they’re surely having peaceful dreams. Right?
As for my own celebration, I’ve taken the advice of law enforcement to heart and rather than marking the new year with random gunplay, I’ll be firing pepper spray into the air. Don’t you try it though. Remember, pepper spray comes down as fast as it goes up. You could put an eye out.
Thanks for your patronage throughout the year. I really appreciate it. You’re the greatest readers ever in the history of forever. Maybe longer.
Your pal,
– bob