Friends,
According to the election results from the Secretary of State’s office this morning, we Californians are a bunch of irresponsible, reactionary bigots with hearts of gold. Let’s take a closer look at the jackassery that took place yesterday. This is with 94.6% of the precincts reporting:
- Prop 1A – Safe, Reliable High-Speed Passenger Train Bond Act: Remember how we don’t have any money and nobody’s buying bonds in this economic climate? Remember how this proposition posits that if we sell ten billion dollars in bonds, that will encourage the feds and private companies to give us the rest of the money we’d need to build a new science fiction choo choo train? And how insane is that? This one is winning 52.3% to 47.7% Holy crap. Are you people drunk?
- Prop 2 – Standards for Confining Farm Animals: Happy cows win 63.3% to 36.7%. Aw, you guys are swell.
- Prop 3 – Children’s Hospital Bond Act: We still have a huge deficit, but what the heck, let’s make it more huger! Winning 54.8% to 45.2%
- Prop 4 – Waiting Period and Parental Notification Before Termination of Minor’s Pregnancy The voters think this should lose (I eventually did too), and it is 47.6% to 52.4%
- Prop 5 – Nonviolent Drug Offenses. Sentencing, Parole and Rehabilitation: Also losing 40.2% to 59.8% It would let “drug dealers back out on the streets” after all. Or something.
- Prop 6 – Police and Law Enforcement Funding. Criminal Penalties and Laws: This one is also losing big—30.5% to 69.5% I’ve heard that people just didn’t like the budgetary constraints but others didn’t like the creation of brand new crimes.
- Prop 7 – Renewable Energy Generation: This needed to fail and it is failing 35.0% to 65.0%
- Prop 8 – Eliminates Right of Same-Sex Couples to Marry: Bigots win! 52.1% to 47.9%
- Prop 9 – Criminal Justice System. Victim’s Rights. Parole: Yeah, this one is winning too 53.3% to 46.7% The constitution—it’s not just for defining fundamental rights anymore!
- Prop 10 – Alternative Fuel Vehicles and Renewable Energy Bonds: I guess T. Boone Pickens will have to build his own natural gas stations. This one is failing hard 40.1% to 59.9%
- Prop 11 – Redistricting: This is barely squeaking by, winning by one percentage point, 50.5% to 49.5% Cross whatever you have that’s crossable and hope this passes. It’s our ticket to getting rid of the fools in the capitol.
- Prop 12 – Veterans’ Bond Act of 2008: I don’t see how you could vote against this, but 36.5% did. Not good enough to beat the 63.5% of voters in favor. This would be an example, I think, of people not reading the sample ballot. I know, horror!
So thanks for stopping in for our election coverage and thanks for voting, you schizophrenic nutjobs.
Your pal,
bob