Author: bob

Posted on

Zzzzzzz

Friends,

There’s a lot of stuff to cover since the last big post, so let’s get to it:

  • Down at San Diego’s Omnipresent Charitable Organization’s Far Eastern Outpost, they finally dedicated this little pup tent they put up. It’s nine months late, way over budget, and is set up to sleep 100 people. The clergy, bosses, politicians, people with fat checkbooks, and the rest of us were there. It’s been occupying too much of my time and it’s still not ready.
  • My trip to Chicago a couple weeks ago was cold, but still pretty fun. I have a bunch of pictures of the Chicago Auto Show and of those cute nieces of mine. I should post them!
  • I also don’t have pictures of Senator Obama announcing his presidential candidacy that weekend. Drive three hours each way to hear any politician say anything for half a minute? Pass. Please. Now if it was Tom Vilsack…
  • I have to think that the Idyllwild Chamber of Commerce must’ve been thrilled with the weather last weekend. Saturday was warm and sunny. Sunday, less warm but still very nice. Monday brought a half inch of pretty, fluffy snow that melted by noon to allow the tourists safe passage off the hill. The perfect winter display?

Will I adhere to a more regular posting schedule now that the big projects at work are (mostly) complete? Sure!

Your pal,

bob

Posted on

It’s An Emergency, Alright

Would you rather…
follow up your Date Festival appearance with a concert date in Wendover, Nevada
or
trade your REO Speedwagon tickets for Foreigner tickets?

a) The Peppermill Casino welcomes Canada Lube ‘n Tune Franchisees and rock fans!
b) Eh, I’m fairly hot-blooded.

Dude, we’re getting the band back together…

– bob

Posted on

The Juice Boxes Were Gettin’ Loose In Turn Two

Would you rather…
be an anonymous coffee station dominating, breakfast-preparing temp,
or
start a NASCAR team to replace the suspended ones in the Daytona 500?

a) Look! If I let you by to get coffee, I might scorch the Hollandaise!
b) I’d like to thank the Gymboree/Starbucks Plymouth Voyager Team…

It’s the most important meal of the day!

– bob

Posted on

Diapers? That’s A New One On Us

Would you rather…
be on the wrong end of an Astronaut Love Triangle,
or
purchase everything you need to get rid of the other woman at The Stalker Hut?

a) Day 14, there she was again, in the Russian Astrophysics Module…
b) A wig, a knife, BB pistol, latex gloves, a steel mallet, and several feet of rubber tubing

Can’t we just be friends, until the supply module arrives?

– bob

Posted on

Return Of The Strange Visitors!

They said they’d be back and they didn’t disappoint. My neighborhood Jehovah’s Witnesses (BTW, hasn’t witness testimony been proven to be unreliable? But I digress.) came back while I was splitting more firewood. No avoiding them this time…

  • Son Of Lurch: Hey Bob, you’re married (oh, this is rich, already. – ed), you’ll be interested in this article…
  • Me: Um, okay. The Watchtower, eh?
  • SOL: So, Bob, if you had questions about your marriage, who would you ask?
  • Me: Um, nobody?
  • SOL: No! You’d ask the person who conceived of marriage! Maybe this scripture passage will help…
  • Bit from Genesis: “So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh; and the rib which the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man.”
  • Me: Well, that’s neat. It’s like recycling.

Both Son Of Lurch and Bob Hoskins were flabbergasted. The latter saying, “gosh, you sure say some interesting things” with a nervous chuckle.

“Well, what’s good for the bottle is good for the rib. Right fellas?” “Um, we should be going now…”

Mission accomplished. Get it?

Your pal,

bob

Posted on

Creamy! He Sputtered

Would you rather…
be stranded in your van on the Isle of Man with Stan Chan and a can of flan,
or
stammer and stutter making your case for peanut butter?

a) Did I ever tell you about sinking my sampan off the coast of Japan?
b) Him? He’s an old nutter!

Where did you get that nice suntan?

– bob

Posted on

I’m No Heifetz, But I Get By

Would you rather,
be someone who just goes to work everyday—on a spaceship,
or
add portamento to your vibrato?

a) I’m originally from Iowa.
b) I’ve always enjoyed Lithuanian silk underwear music.

Oh look, here’s the new guy. Johnny Titanium Lunchpail.

– bob

Posted on

M. y. Fel. low. A. mericans

Would you rather…
publish a community newspaper during your breaks at Hemet Video,
or
apologize to the nation for the poor quality of your web video?

a) My ol’ Pappy once said, “Publishing a magazine is a lot like eating a bicycle…”
b) I can’t vote for anyone that pixelated.

Where do you start?

– bob