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Sometimes you’ve just got to get rid of the president. Maybe you start hearings and he resigns and you get the mess pictured above, and sometimes you invoke the 25th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution because the president is unfit to serve. Either way, now would be a good time to do either of those things.
And please remember to punch a Nazi. Thank you.
Your very best pal in the whole wide world,
– bob
Every February 2nd, I like to share with you some events from history to illustrate that today isn’t just about rodents and my Birthday Holiday Season.
This year, the subject of defeating fascism is at the top of my mind for some reason, so here are some instances where the bad guys have been punched in the face (and worse!) from history:
So if you were thinking of getting me something, take a picture of someone you love punching a Nazi. I’ll post them here!
Your best pal in the whole wide world,
– bob
Over the weekend, I replaced the old webcam server with a not nearly as old webcam server and the results so far have been better than I’d hoped. The new server is more responsive, has more storage, and should be able to stay up and running more consistently. Plus, it’s a nice way to keep technology up and running and useful that some Cupertino-based computer companies have deemed obsolete.
During the transition, I temporarily lost one of the primary cameras, but I added a new one that’s taking great pictures. Now you can see what the neighbors are up to during most of the day and some of the night.
That’s not creepy, is it?
Your pal,
– bob
Just a brief note to let you know that the webcam server at the Damp Dog Lodge has gone down and it may be the end of the line for the old gal. The machine is almost 15 years old, which is nearly 400 in computer years, so it might be time to put it out to pasture.
The good news is that our crack team of engineers is working on the case and we should have a replacement ready to go in a few days.
All we have to do is figure out what this knob does…
Your best pal in the whole wide world,
– bob
I know that you’re sick and tired of 2016. How could you not feel beat down by so much death, destruction, hatred and betrayal? You thought you could count on your fellow Americans to do the right thing and so many of them failed you. Failed us. Failed, in the end, themselves.
You’re tired and just want it to be over. Well today’s your lucky day! 2016, the year when hope ended, is actually ending in a matter of hours. 2017 will finally be here. Hope won’t be good enough anymore. We’ve got to get up and get to work and fight for every scrap and want every small victory. We can do this.
Tonight I leave you with this wish: that your champagne is filled with horseshoes and your roosters are filled with wonder.
Get some rest. We’ve got a lot of work to do.
Your best pal in the whole wide world,
– bob
Friends,
It seems that the transition from the administration of the 44th President of The United States to the 45th is going great as illustrated in this photo taken during a meeting in Trump Tower. The selection of people who know nothing to run government agencies they hate and have longed to dismantle is an enormous middle finger to the less than one quarter of the registered voters who selected this carnival barker.
You know, they guy who’s too smart to listen to intelligence briefings? Yeah, that guy.
We’re doomed.
Your pal,
– bob
IMPORTANT GOVERNANCE UPDATE: Oh yeah, he also picks people based on their looks. What a buffoon.
Friends,
Just a brief note to wish you all the very best Thanksgiving holiday weekend. It’s been a rough couple of weeks, but let’s take a couple days off to relax with friends and family before we get back to our plans to win the midterms!
Or something.
Your pal,
– bob
P.S. Special thanks to the President of Turkey for his appearance at the beginning of this post. Now it really feels like Thanksgiving.
Friends,
The election results are in and with only 50% turnout in one of the most acrimonious, contemptible races in the modern era, this country has elected a fascist as the next Commander-In-Chief. Congratulations!
To everyone who voted for Tangerine Mussolini, please take a moment to explain to all of the black, hispanic, Jewish, Muslim, and female people in your life why you don’t care about them. While you’re at it, I’m interested to hear why you apparently value party over country, bonkers ideology over security, and choosing a carnival barker to represent the United States to the world. Also, considering that the dead-eyed granny-starving Speaker of the House is champing at the bit to dismantle Social Security, please explain to the elderly people why you don’t care about them either.
Shameless.
Friends,
I have to admit that this election has left me cold and exhausted. I certainly haven’t been as interested in discussing the merits of banning plastic bags, which I support, against grabbing bag fees and reallocating them towards something else, which is a trick by the plastics industry. We get the chance to end the death penalty in the state during this election and that should have been a big topic for debate, but it wasn’t.
What we got instead was so many candidates for President of the United States that the selection process resembled little more than news anchors swatting at a hornets’ next with a stick that was far too short. Thanks to the insatiable teevee ratings machine, a bloviating yam was given too much free airtime to make outrageous, and to my sensitive ears unamerican, statements about minorities and majorities. Once they had the statements recorded, they could play them over and over, asking pundits what they thought about them. “Outragous or TOO outrageous? We’ll ask our panel after this commercial break…”
While this was happening, people who would normally be considered apologists for any other candidiate in any other election cycle instead went on camera and denied that their favorite tangerine-tinted bota bag ever said anything offensive. Or even said that thing that was on full display on the video running beside them. I believe that this distaste for the facts is unprecedented in Republican politics, and that’s really saying something considering their recent history in the Congress.
What alarms me about this election is that there are so many disqualifying aspects to the GOP’s Orange Julius Caesar that it’s hard to know where to start: Financial ties to Russia? He hasn’t released his taxes? In hock up to his eyeballs? Bragging about sexual assault? Misuse of a personal charity? Calling for the trial, jailing or assasination of his political opponent?
That’s not the alarming part. We know he’s a terrible human being. What’s alarming is that there are too many people in this country who think all of that is okay. Okay in their president.
It’s not okay. It never was. You can help save the United States and the rest of the free world by voting for a competent candidate who won’t throw a temper tantrum and blow us all up. You can vote for a woman who has the skills to apply reason to a problem, not just a tweet storm. You can vote for someone with a lifetime of public service who has faced scrutiny and survived instead of a man who lashes out when people make fun of his tiny hands.
You have one job America.
Friends,
I’m very sure that you’re completely tired of this election cycle. I don’t blame you. If I lived in a country that was so full of dopes that it was perilously close to electing a dope to its highest office, I’d be upset too. I mean, if there were only two major parties where I lived, and one offered a candidate who had solid policy proposals and serious plans to achieve them, while the other nominated a man so averse to the facts, so clearly obsessed with his own personal advancement over the general welfare, that there should be no contest. But there is and we could possibly be doomed.
But let’s think about this. Would the next Congress sign off on anything a theoretical President Racist P. Yam might propose? I suspect not and this makes me feel a little bit better.
So why not throw a fit about something we can do something about? This year, here in California, we have 17 state-wide initiatives covering everything from plastic bags (again) to legalizing marijuana (again) to requiring condoms for porn. Thanks to the confluence of the genius of the Internet and the idiocy of A Jaunty Little Blog, I have made a dumb promise to cover each and every one of these initiatives in detail.
Starting as soon as I get around to it, the posts will start coming for each initiative in reverse order (because it’ll look cooler in the blog) from Proposition 67 right up to Proposition 51.
Excited? Of course you are. Me too.
Very excited.
Your pal,
– bob
The Little Jaunty Players
– Proudly Present –
– Your Best Mates –
– Selflessly Helping A Fellow Out –
– Without Any Thought Of Personal Reward –
It’s Two Sentences From A Book!
I was obviously elected to divert his girlfriend’s mate, who wasn’t the most beautiful girl in the world. I wasn’t interested in her at all, but I was very horny, and although I wouldn’t kiss her, I did try to get my hands on her upper torso.
Spoilers: She was not amused.
Friends,
I’ve been spending a lot of time at lower elevations lately, since the new gig is in a tilt-up concrete architectural afterthought near the Pacific Ocean. That means that Lola gets to spend quality time in the tiny back yard at a sweet girl’s house.
Lola likes to have a job and up in my piney paradise, she kept squirrels away while also fending off incursions by attackers disguised as joggers and hikers. I just assumed that her new vocation involved a coordinated attack on the grass to eliminate gophers.
Actually, she’s been mining for Hot Wheels cars. And it turns out that she has impeccable taste. A Hot Wheels #167 Austin Healy is worth some decent cash when they’re in good condition.
They might be worth a tiny bit less in this condition…
It’s a good start though. What a good girl!
Your pal,
– bob
Friends,
Just a housekeeping note. If you’ve tried to leave a comment, which I appreciate immensely, it may not have shown up for a very long time. The reason for this is two-fold. Even though the comments are moderated by me, I don’t have a mechanism to notify me if something’s awaiting my approval and because of the limitations of the platform, I never will. Second, on top of my lack of diligence in writing things here lately, I also have a less than stellar record of maintaining this joint—including moderating comments.
It’ll get better as I get back into the swing of regular updates. Thanks for your patience and continued readership.
Your pal,
– bob
A few months ago, I was reading Advertising Age or Webdesigner Depot or something along those lines, and fell prey to a listicle showing fun 404 pages across the internet. In case you don’t know what a 404 page is, here’s Codeacademy to help explain…
Sometimes you’ll see a 404 error if you incorrectly type the URL to a web page you want to visit, and instead of being taken there, you’re rerouted to a page that reads something like, “404 Error – File Not Found.” The 404 error is telling you that the request you sent did in fact make it to the server, but the server could not find the specific file you were requesting.
This started me thinking about building a custom 404 page for bobtherieau.com. It’s not really that hard, but what should be the theme? All the clever error pages, pages that nobody would normally ever see, have a theme. But what should I choose for my nature photo-heavy portfolio site?
Then it became obvious…
And it still makes me laugh whenever I see it.
Your pal,
– bob
P.S. If you’re a big fan of error pages, I have server error and unauthorized access pages too!
Friends,
I’ve got a bone to pick with a copywriting trend I’m seeing lately. It’s popping up in press releases, news articles, think pieces and op-eds with alarming frequency and I’m already tired of it.
This trend is really a writing style and it goes like this…
It’s lazy (and I’ve done it myself) and not new in itself. What’s new is that articles are explicitly telling you what they’re doing. Here’s an example…
Everyone likes to tell stories – it’s something we’ve done since we were kids. These days storytelling is an inherent part of our daily lives on social media, whether it’s sharing family photos or promoting a product, company, or cause.
For a long time, the tools that let us creatively express ourselves and tell our stories were there for the select few who knew how to use them. But times have changed. A high-definition camera is just a swipe away. You can carry an orchestra in your pocket and a digital publishing studio in your bag. We already know how to share with the world—but how do we actually stand out by telling our stories with impact?
Today we’re announcing Adobe Spark – a new way to create powerful visual stories…
Sure, Executive Vice Presidents write this way, but you shouldn’t. You’re better than that.
Your best pal in the whole world,
– bob