Category: Uncategorized

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Sometimes A Miata Is Simply A Miata

a fine left-justified pictureFriends,

Yes, gas prices are pretty outrageous, but I’ve been forced to step back a little…

In my little piney paradise at this moment (who knows what’ll happen tomorrow), a gallon of regular unleaded petrol goes for $4.89. I don’t buy gas up here. I buy gas down in the desert, where I work, and filled up the Mighty Dakota with $4.43 gas. You know, because it’s much cheaper.

I’ve been warned off buying a used British Racing Green Mazda Miata because it’s either too girly or actually built for gay men. (Cripes, am I gonna do this? Okay, here goes…) I’m not really sure about the characterization. I think the image the car conveys swings both ways. (thank you! I’ll be here all week!)

But let’s do the math with an extreme example. Presume the Miata gets an optimistic 28 MPG. The Jeep Grand Livingroom gets a meager 17 MPG. I drive 100 miles every day and we’ll presume $4.50 per gallon. When will buying a $9,000 used car make financial sense? Anybody? Bueller?

I’m thinking not for decades. And that whole scenario presumes that I’ll continue the desert commute throughout that time. That is not assured.

The car is really supposed to be fun to drive though. Thoughts?

– bob

UPDATE: Here’s a number—three and a third. That’s how many years it takes, given the above numbers, for the used Miata to pay for itself. Maybe the idea isn’t so crazy after all…

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Happy Birthday, Denise!

File photo.
Friends,

It’s my sister’s birthday today, so please don’t bring up the fact that she’s very old. Not too old to be a fine mom to her adorable daughter though, or to wield a mean broom (left, file photo).

So, happy birthday Denise! Your gift is coming soon!

– bob

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The ‘To Do’ List

Friends,

It’s a beautiful day up here in my piney paradise. Many projects to complete today to make up for the lack of activity over the last week or so. I’ve started on the next set of meds, so while I can breathe better, the top of my head feels like it might fly off. So it’s a good news/bad news scenario, no?

Brother, can you spare some bee pollen?

Your pal,

bob

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Cancel Your Plans

Wayne 'The Train' Hancock
Friends,

Bloodshot Records recording artist and van driver Wayne “The Train” Hancock is scheduled to perform in our little hamlet tomorrow night. I haven’t been this excited since news broke that Brad Pitt once stopped while driving through and bought a soda.

Well, of course I’m going. Wouldn’t miss it.

– bob

UPDATE: Oh, right. The sign that said “Live Music Tonite” at Jo’Ann’s really meant “Live Music This Afternoon.” The Train apparently played his afternoon set, loaded up the van, and high-tailed it out of town. So, um, I missed him.

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A Shortness Of Posts

Color charts courtesy Hessler Forms & Labels.
Pals,

As far as treatment plans go, the one I’m on could be the dumbest I’ve heard of. It goes something like this:

“You’ll feel better as soon as the meds run out.”

I’m just guessing that this is the case, of course. Nobody actually said what exactly would happen, but as those deceptively strong tiny pills go away, my skin tone takes a slide towards a more subtle end of the color chart.

As for the breathing, it’s improved a little. I will say this though. At the moment, there is no need for me to invest in expensive equipment to get a full cardio workout. A leisurely stroll to the end of the block will do the trick.

– bob

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There Goes My Shot At The Hall Of Fame

We Are All On Drugs
Friends,

When the doctor at Kaiser Permanente attempted to determine my medical history yesterday, it seems that he’d already decided on a diagnosis. He never actually looked at me during the interview, choosing instead to examine the floor and his shoes. I attempted to advance the narrative, he had already made up his mind and spoke over me.

“Your asthma is back, I’m gonna prescribe these medications which include some steroids, and you’ll need a chest x-ray. See the cashier on your way out.”

So there it is. Will I need to take these drugs forever? I haven’t a clue. Should I be worried about side effects? Who can say? If the bedtime dose makes me wake up at midnight and stay up until the alarm goes off, should that be cause for concern? Maybe the cashier knows for sure.

– bob

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A Programming Note…


Friends,

I’ve been on a forced hiatus over the last few days due to illness. It seems that at any given time there just doesn’t seem to be enough oxygen in my general vicinity to satisfy my selfish cravings to breathe.

Against my own better judgment, I’m going to make an appointment to see a healthcare professional today to find out what’s wrong. Asthma rearing its ugly head after thirty years? Rapid onset emphysema? Have I suddenly become allergic to my part-time puppies? What gives?

We’ll see later on today…

– bob

UPDATE: If you called your bookie and took the over on asthma, your kneecaps are safe. How this plays into the fact that my little burg is at a little over 5,300-feet above sea level should prove challenging. Everybody I’ve shared this tale with so far (and trust me, I’ve been whining like the last kid picked for the kickball team) tells me that it’s perfectly normal. That if you had asthma as a kid, it’ll surely pop up again when you’re an adult. Why wasn’t I informed of this! My secretary has some explaining to do.

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Vows Made, Kept

Friends,

I’m in Chicago, Illinois this weekend trying to keep my head down. The weather’s nice, unlike my general neighborhood (warning: link to crappy video that is so rustic it seems charming). I’m just trying to avoid some dynamic family dynamics while still enjoying my cousin’s first wedding.

Here’s a tip, by the way, if you want to impress people at your next church wedding. Hire a trumpet player to go along with the organist, the violinist and the mezzo soprano. Trust me on this.

Pictures when I get back next week.

– bob

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Wheat Fancier

I think I'm gonna start a riot.Friends,

This is a cute story about some environmentalists:

A Canadian magazine will be making history Thursday — Canadian Geographic is publishing its annual environment issue on paper made from wheat, a first for a North American magazine.

The issue is being printed on sheets made with wheat straw — what’s left of wheat after the grain harvest.

The magazine says adding agricultural waste to pulp from trees could offer farmers a new source of revenue and cut the demand for pulp from the continent’s boreal forests.

Sounds great! Use the waste from food production. Besides, one of Canada’s largest crops is wheat. What a perfect use of a domestic resource…

The wheat-straw pulp used in the making of the issue was imported from China, where papermakers have been using wheat and rice for centuries.

Importing wheat straw! That’s rich! Next you’ll tell me that a Canadian team won’t contest the Stanley Cup this year.

Oh, sorry.

– bob

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Jaunty Special Election Update! – Gardening Department

What we need is more cowbell.Friends,

I was listening to the radio this morning after the Oregon and Kentucky primaries and heard Senator Mrs. Clinton say this:

“It’s not just Kentucky bluegrass that’s music to my ears, it’s the sound of your overwhelming vote of confidence, even in the face of some pretty tough odds,” Clinton told her supporters in Kentucky.

I may be mistaken, but isn’t Kentucky bluegrass, you know, grass?

– bob

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Spammers Desperate, Russian

Friends,

Look, I hate spammers as much as you do, but it’s starting to look like tough times are hitting them too. You’ve certainly seen all the come-ons for expensive watches, jewelry, and designer fashions flooding your inbox. Me, I’m getting spam offering deep discounts on Timex watches and Ugg boots. I’m a big Timex fan, but as far as fabulous offers go, it seems pretty low-rent to me.

Poor, pitiful spammers. What’s next? Deep discounts on Tupperware? Black market laundry detergent? Identity thieves coming after my Vons Club card? In Cyrillic?

– bob

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OMG Guys! It’s Two Sentences From A Book!

The Little Jaunty Players
– Proudly Present –
– An Ongoing Feature –
– Right Here –
– Of This Very Blog –
– Proudly Entitled –

Two Sentences From A Book!

“As an example of a third-brush-regulated Delco motor-generator we will use the Delco electric system on one of the first models of the Hudson “Super-Six” cars, models “H” (1916-17) and model “J” (1918). The Hudson “Super-Six” was produced after the Hudson “6-40″ which used a variable resistance regulation which was cut into the field winding automatically by a governor.”

Owners of the Hudson “Adequate-Six” aren’t gonna like this.

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Maybe It Knows Something…

Friends,

I was working on the pre-recorded bits for the podcast but, um, the microphone on my nearly new headset stopped working. The universe must be mad at the creation of art. Art!

Gawd, you’re gonna hate this thing. I’m so sorry.

– bob

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Jaunty Little Vice Presidential Selection Committee

Dear Readers,

It’s a new kind of politics so we’ve taken it upon ourselves to start the V.P. selection process. Citizen journalism is fine, but we’re going much further. We’re selecting you, gentle reader, to be the next Vice President of the United States. We’re really excited to get you on the ticket and to get to work on preparations for the general election.

Let’s face it. You’re smart, savvy, and we’ve found in our polling that your positives are much higher than your negatives. Our media people are already working on a response for that stuff you did in high school, so that shouldn’t be a problem. They’re asking, though, that you stop wearing stripes. It’s just really not a good look for you.

Our advance team will be giving you a call in the morning for a brief interview. Just a formality, but we need to get that out of the way. And think, free room and board at the Naval Observatory!

Congratulations! We know you’ll do a great job!

Your pal,

– bob
Chairman, Jaunty Little Vice Presidential Selection Committee

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Log Used As Wilderness Ashtray, Fire Ensues

Talk about your brain-dead moves. You’re hiking through heavy brush then reach a peak that affords a gorgeous 360-degree view. What better time to have a smoke and take it all in. But where, pray thee tell, does one extinguish said incendiary device?

A rotten log seems like a good bet. What could go wrong?

First Apache Fire map from InciWeb.org.click to embiggen

This is the first map that I’ve seen of the fire perimeter posted by the fine folks at InciWeb.org. The first thing you’ll notice is that the whole area is pretty much roadless. I have old USGS maps that show roads up there, but they were removed through…wait for it…legislation!

I wasn’t sure if I should post this second picture from the CalFire blog, but here goes…

The burning log and the mysterious 'Steffi.'

This is a shot of the burning log noticed by one Pacific Coast Trail hiker and includes mysterious hiking companion “Steffi.” They tried to put it out, but the wind got the best of them. You’re on your own for dreaming up your own personal “Steffi” narrative. That’s what the comments section is for, after all.

– bob