“So, What Do You Know About SGML?”

Quite a lot, actually. I know enough to know that SGML isn’t really about anything until you decide what the bits of information you enclose in tags are supposed to mean.

Why should you care? You shouldn’t need to know a single solitary thing about SGML during the course of your entire lifetime (it’s not usually something that comes up in party chit-chat).

I was asked the question today however, but rather that offering the straightforward “It’s tagged information,” I did my little tap dance about data resources, information design, and other digi-hoo-haw. (but hell, I could get a nice job out of that shuck-and-jive, so why not?)

It certainly has the potential to beat the pants off of my current line of work, which is a baby step up from unemployment. In fact, tomorrow, I will be painting the inside of a garage. The inside. Just the drywall parts, mind you, but the inside of a garage.

My garage has no drywall. No paint. Very few amenities at all. That fact did not deter me for a moment from signing the papers on this place. I wonder what makes people in Orange County, California feel so entitled? It’s certainly not the prices. Ours are much higher. I have a theory:

I propose that Orange County is actually a replica of America. It’s nearly perfect in every detail: they have a Lowe’s, a Costco, an Albertson’s. There seem to be tiny flaws though, and the flaws point out that the aliens who constructed Orange County missed some things and were blinded by others.

– Some people in America have SUVs, but everyone in O.C. has one, and the bigger the better.

– There are traffic lights in America, but O.C. has a light every twenty-five feet.

– People in America who shop at big-box warehouse stores, but everybody in O.C. does and seems to like it.

– When you live in a gated community and pay homeowner’s association dues, chances are that you’re paying for a communal landscape service as well. If that’s the case, chances are also good that you won’t need a lawnmower. People in O.C. look at that big, empty, finished garage and seem to develop an overwhelming need to fill it. Chances are high that they will fill it with a lawnmower. Chances are above 50-50 that it will be a riding lawnmower (but lower if the SUV is too big).

I’m heading back there tomorrow to paint the inside of a garage, so blogging will be very light. Pray for me.

Your best pal,

bob