Good Lord!

As usual, my Wednesday trip to Autoextremist.com has filled me with hope and horror. Both this week coming from On The Table. You’ll have to scroll about midway through the page for the horror of the Chrysler 300 “mod.” The hope lies in the idea that Ford-owned Mazda scored a quality coup in Europe vs. Porsche (first entry). That wouldn’t have happened five years ago and I think says something very profound about the state of global economics. Could Mazda have done it without Ford? Would they even be around now without Ford?

Back to the horror. I read somewhere, Autoweek I think, that when the last generation squared-off Eldorado was introduced the designers where finally satisfied. To paraphrase, “It’ll be impossible—and truly ugly—for the dealers to slap a vinyl roof on this design. We’ve made it as hard as possible for them to make this ‘a retirement community’ car.” Clearly that designer was proven wrong by the ingenuity of those whose taste is so bad that they brush their teeth with smoked kippers, but there you have it. As stated so succinctly at Autoextremist, there’s a war over who knows best, the dealers or the manufacturers.

Dealers wouldn’t invest in vinyl roof treatments if they didn’t think they could sell them, but that’s not really the point. For a car like the 300 (and the Dodge Magnum) that breaks the current rules by embracing all of the old ones, the Sun-Citification on display in Michigan (and no doubt Arizona, and California, and Florida) kicks that bigger than life statement to the curb.

“It’s just another car, except you can put eight sets of clubs in the trunk. Grandpa will love it if only it looked more, you know, regal!”

On a side note, my Dad buys pool building supplies from a company located next to an Auto Park. Their next-door neighbors have a thriving business supplying the dealers with those same fake convertible tops, outlandish chrome wheels, and goony pinstriping work (care for a “Cathedral City Edition” Pontiac Sunfire? Can do!) and I had a chance to spy. On the racks in their back lot sit hundreds of fiberglass forms for their many terrible fake top creations.

I hate to encourage the terrorists, as you may well understand, but if you bad guys really feel the need to bomb something…

I’m just saying.

Your incendiary pal,

bob

As a side note, if you’re considering a new car you should really test drive a Mazda, they’re fun, well put-together, have a model for everybody, and inexpensive for what you get. By the way, if you’re considering a Ford Escape, drive a Mazda Tribute first, same small SUV, but with Mazda’s handling goodness thrown in for a better price. No, I don’t work for Mazda, but I’ve liked them for years and can wholeheartedly recommend them against most of their competitors.