Baby, It’s Cold Outside

Dearest Pals,

Happy Monday After Thanksgiving! Black Monday, perhaps? Maybe Blackened Monday. I’ll explain, but first, some handy tips from the Idyllwild Fire Department…

Should you choose to clean your fireplace after a long holiday weekend of heavy use, here are some important things to keep in mind:

• Place the ashes in a metal container, not a paper sack.
• Locate that container away from wood siding and flammable liquids, like gasoline.
• The container should be placed on a suitable surface, preferably a concrete slab not a wooden deck.
• Douse those ashes with at least two inches of water, just to be sure they aren’t still hot.

Good to know, don’t you think? My neighbors didn’t seem to think so because by the time they left yesterday, they got each and every one completely wrong.

Sure, the temperature has dipped down into the low 40s, and it’s sure nice to have a great big cozy fire, just don’t burn down the forest to do it, okay? And please don’t start your fire right next to my house. Sheesh.

I had left for San Diego yesterday afternoon (no fire yet) and had arrived and settled in when the call around 8:00 came from my neighbor in the mountains. “Bob, do you know the name of the people who live in the house on the other side of yours?” she asked. “Nope, they’re sorta jerks and couldn’t spare two words for me. Why?” “Oh, their house is on fire and I thought I’d give them a call…”

“Wha!” (fire. now.)

Apparently, she thought that they had left their lovely Christmas lights on. Then she realized that the light from Christmas lights doesn’t shoot through the roof like that and that she should call the fire department. You can see that they were pretty quick and got things under control before they got much, much worse. (check out the untouched Cedar tree on the left of the burned roof)

Being a paranoid lunatic, I’ve taken the day off to inspect the damage and to see what I need to do to get things back to normal on my side. Not much, it turns out. Maybe a little mud cleanup from the water that rushed through my yard. Maybe sweeping up the silt that flowed under my back door. Maybe I’ll check for patches of burned grass around my place just to make sure they’re not hot.

Maybe I’ll just stop worrying.

Yeah, right.

Your pal,

bob