Uncategorized – Page 16 – A Jaunty Little Blog

September 9, 2009

Can’t Afford The Cake

Friends,

Today marks the 159th anniversary of the Great State of California becoming a state. Truly a momentous occasion, considering that we’re the third largest state by land mass and first in population. We still have one of the largest economies in the world despite the fact that the legislature as a whole couldn’t be trusted to put the cream filling in an Oreo.

This calls for a celebration! What is the state government doing to mark this historic event?

It’s hard to tell from the screen shot, but I think what we’re doing in this year of budget constraint is that each citizen takes turns applying eye makeup to Maria Shriver. You’ve gotta give credit to the party planners in Sacramento. I never would’ve thought to do that.

It looks like loads of fun though…

bob

September 4, 2009

This Amazing Year – Unusual Taste Edition

Friends,

This story from the Associated Press via the information firehose that is the Riverside Press-Enterprise takes a stab at carefully chosen wording, but in the end, I think we have a pretty good idea what really happened…

Officials say teachers sickened in LA by pot brownies

Federal health officials say five preschool teachers in Los Angeles were sickened earlier this year after eating marijuana-laced brownies bought from a street vendor.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention said Thursday that police investigated the April incident, which occurred at an unidentified school.

A preschool teacher, who did not eat the snack but gave it her adult son, bought the brownies from a sidewalk vendor and shared them with her colleagues.

Five teachers ate one brownie each. The CDC says a sixth teacher took a bite and spit it out after complaining of an “unusual taste.”

The teachers recovered within hours. A brownie sample tested by Los Angeles police found traces of marijuana.

The teacher who bought the brownies was not charged. Police have not found the street vendor.

—The Associated Press

Yeah, sickened. Are you sticking with that? Really?

The CDC was called in because a few preschool teachers were high for a few hours? With this level of attention, H1N1 should be wiped out in a couple days.

August 29, 2009

Fire Incident Town Hall Meeting

Friends,

Folks in my little town are anxious. Freaking out. There’s a little 2,200-acre fire not too far away, and we’ve had a tough time getting solid information about its progress. Clearly network teevee couldn’t really be bothered with the story. The newspapers surrounding the hill are making a cursory attempt, but as usual, the Town Crier has stepped up its game. Between their Facebook presence and their breaking news blog, they’re making the big media outlets look like chumps. Chumps!

What I’ve been looking for though, has been a map of the fire’s perimeter. It’s not on the InciWEB site, CalFire’s site, nowhere. Maybe there’s a map behind this group of people…

Ahh. There we go. Very helpful!

– bob

UPDATE: Click on the bottom photo for a much larger version in another window. Not for dial-up connections…

August 28, 2009

Fire Near Idyllwild

Friends,

There’s a little 400-acre fire burning about six miles from Idyllwild Arts up here in my little burg. Here’s a link to the Town Crier Breaking News Blog, but few other sites seem to feel that the news is worth covering. CalFire even seems bored by the thing. The Palm Springs Desert Sun has a little story (didn’t bump dead politicians on their front page though) that covers the basics but misses the bigger story. The Jazz In The Pines fundraiser for that very private arts high school is this weekend. Will it be burned out? If the highway stays closed, how will the throngs get here? Will they just turn around after hearing about the flamey flames?

And who was supposed to be watching Mrs. O’Leary’s cow?

– bob

UPDATE: Sandra on Facebook sent this link to the InciWeb site. You may not know this, but she’s awesome.

August 26, 2009

R.I.P. Ted Kennedy

Friends,

In all my excitement about the 19th Amendment, I completely forgot to note the passing of the senior senator from the state of Massachusetts. All of the mainstream media sites have had obituary packages set up for months, so I won’t bore you with any of that. There’s this to think about though—does this mean healthcare reform gets forced through more quickly in honor of the Liberal Lion of the Senate? Some people think so…

– bob

August 26, 2009

Happy 19th Amendment Certification Day!

Friends,

On this date 89 years ago, Secretary of State Bainbridge Colby (of the St. Louis Colbys, btw) certified the 19th Amendment to the United States Constitution. Thus, women across the country were guaranteed their right to vote.

Considering that women outnumber men in the country, this momentous occasion has led to the election of many female presidents including our 57th president, Miley Cyrus.

Congratulations, women!

– bob

August 24, 2009

Happy French Thermonuclear Bomb Test Day!

Friends,

Today marks the 41st anniversary of France’s first hydrogen bomb test on the Fangataufa Atoll making her the world’s fifth nuclear power. This was also one of the last above-ground nuclear tests in the world, conducted, we presume, because the French prefer to be fashionably late to the party.

Above-ground nuclear testing has been abandoned by nearly every country because it leads to an increase in albino squirrels. Peace activists have warned that a sudden jump in the albino squirrel population would be “freaky” and “way weird,” leading to a comprehensive test ban treaty among the major nuclear powers.

Or I could still be under the influence of last night’s portobello mushroom pizza. Hard to say, really. It seemed so real…

– bob

August 14, 2009

What’s This Murky Gunk?

Friends,

I haven’t found any answers to the question of the murky haze layer covering Southern California. The first two pictures aren’t of my latest chest x-rays, as you might expect, but document my camera’s struggle to deal with the low-light landscape this morning…

These two were taken a little later in Garner Valley. The fingers of gunk seem to be wrapping around the neck of the Coachella Valley, ready to squeeze the life out of the Festival of Dirt. Happy Friday!

Bigger versions are available with a click. Gianter versions are available on request.

Feel free to speculate on the nature of the bad air quality. Real or imagined answers are welcome.

– bob

UPDATE: From the Town Crier blog comes word from Cal Fire that the smoke is from the La Brea fire [warning: PDF link] 21 miles East of Santa Maria. That’s an awful long way for smoke to travel, isn’t it?

August 12, 2009

Two Big Birthdays

Friends,

On this day in 1981, International Business Machines introduced their first PC, the IBM Model 5150. Information technology professionals may recognize the number 5150 to stand for involuntary psychiatric hold, which allows qualified clinicians to involuntarily confine techs who have gone mad while working on IBM PCs.

This is also the 100th anniversary of the Indianapolis Motor Speedway. A place where people have been known to go around the bend.

Stay sane, people.

– bob

August 11, 2009

The Loyal Opposition

Friends,

I follow the news pretty carefully and I think I know something about stuff like Cash For Clunkers. I’m generally against the program since it means that tomorrow’s classic cars are heading for the crusher, but a friend of mine on Facebook asked a simple question that seemed right up my alley. Here’s the transcript of a simple thing that went horribly wrong:

[Original Poster Friend] Has anyone taken advantage of the Cash for Clunkers program? I’m thinking of buying a new car this week.
9 hours ago · Comment · Like

[OP Friend #1] my buudy [redacted] just did it…aloota paperwork but pretty darn cool…they really do give good deals, i guess…
9 hours ago

[OP Friend #2] My friend up the street just got a new “Flex” from Ford using the program. He got $3500 for his clunker…
8 hours ago

[Nutso Dude] I only have a 2007 Honda to trade in and I wouldnt buy an American Car because they are shi#, I am sorry, but The Japanese and the Germans and everybody else make better cars then USA, my first Car was an Oldsmobile, but now I stick with Japanese and German Cars. If we built better cars and our Unions weren’t so greedy, American products would be # 1 again and I am sorry they arent even on the list anymore- Hate to sound negative, but We need to get back to the basics that made us great, Pride in our work,Great Products, and Loving our Country, those 3 things will make us great again!!!!
7 hours ago

[OP Friend #3] He makes sense but, I do believe that Japanese cars are also included. Get yourself a Prius.
7 hours ago

[OP Friend #4] Better go quick before the $$$ runs out!
5 hours ago

[Me] Wow. [Nutso Dude] is really wrong about the domestics. Go shop Ford and I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. What are you going to trade in?
3 hours ago · Delete

Okay, that’s not so bad, I think. I called the guy out, but I was contributing to the discussion—except I started something…

[Nutso Dude – since deleted] Hey Bob, Why would You say I was wrong? Why is GM tanking? Why is Hummer almost obsolete?? Why cant American Cars compete with Japanese cars like Honda and Toyota?? When was the last time You bought a pontiac?? How about a buick?? Bob, I think You are really wrong about American Cars. why would they have to trick You into buying new ones?? Because they suck thats why !!!! Cash for Clunkers is a program that is another scam by The Obama Administration to make it look like people actually want American cars.Do me a favor Bob and Don’t flag me down When your Ford craps out on You and I am driving my Honda by You, because I will give You the finger and tell You to Buy a Honda next time moron !!!
GO YANKEES !!!
OBABAYOMAMA NO MORE!!!!

Things are going badly here. I haven’t modified the spelling or the grammar, so at this point I think it could be a joke. Poorly executed, but a put-on nonetheless. Sadly, Dude continues…

[Nutso Dude – also now deleted] My last statement I said with a lot of love-imao I wasn’t trying too sound harsh !!! Well, maybe a little-lol

Okay. Some love. This is settling down nicely. New comment is posted…

[More from Nutso Dude – deleted] Sorry about the last statement, But I usually dont say to somebody that they are wrong, because the conversation goes negative right from there. I usually say I disagree with so and so, because I think this and that, so excuse me for educating Bob on why we disagree with regard to American Cars.

I’m sure I needed an education on cars. Clearly I needed an education on Facebook etiquette. I should’ve let it go, but no…

[Again, Me] Gosh. That was a little flamey. Personally, I own two old Jeeps to get around in the snow and a used Miata to drive up and down the hill because it’s fun (but not trouble-free). I’ll stand by the Ford recommendation only because I’ve read that they have nice, reliable products out there right now. A VW Jetta TDI wagon would be a mileage and space champ though. Also worth a look.

There we go! I’ve offered my advice and I’m out. Wait! The crazy continues…

[But wait, more from Nutso – also deleted] I am retracting what I said about American Cars, because I have been a little too confrontational lately on Facebook. With that being said, I just want to say Bob that I think that Obama is a Muslim pig that is a racist and is really the White Mans Bitch, because he only works for Teddy Kennedy and the rest of the Pu$$y Ass Liberal Fa#S in the Deomocratic Party,they dont let him make the big decisions, he only gets to play President, if thats sounds too Flamey for You Bob, I am sorry, I am a New Yorker, not some liberal, Butt Pirate from California who loves everything that Obama stands for. Good Day to You Sir!!!!!!!!

[It gets better. More from Nutso – deleted from original post] Bob let me simplify, You go and spend Your $$ on a Ford and I will drive my 2007 Honda Touring Edition and Lets see where it gets us in 5 years. Your Muslim Buddy Obama is killing our country little by little, not only is the Stimulus package doing nothing, but now we are spending tax money to take off the price of American Cars?? Is that right ?? Bob, it wasn’t flamey what was said, I think You are a Flamer !!! So dont hate Bob, love that fact that I make Great money and I am willing to pay taxes so Your Malotto President and first Muslim in Chief can give all of our Money to people who don’t spend it here, they ship it back to their home countries. Man, I have met some stupid people in my day, but Bob just made me realize why We have a community Organizer for a President and that is some people in America just dont care !!!

Really? The rant is amazing, as you can see, but my faith in humanity has been restored a little in that the posts I note as deleted have been removed from my friend’s page. “A little too confrontational” doesn’t begin to describe this flaming hot mess. If this is a common sentiment around the country, we’re in big trouble.

Huge trouble.

– bob

August 7, 2009

A Message From The Idyllwild Weather Clam

I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but the temperatures have dropped precipitously over the last two days. I even think that the low tomorrow morning could drop below 45° which would be extraordinary for August. If you have camping plans in the Santa Rosas, you couldn’t pick a better weekend than this one.

Keep moist,

– The Idyllwild Weather Clam

August 6, 2009

But If You Call In The Next Thirty Minutes

Friends,

It would be reasonable to assume that my puppy dog idles away the hours in the forest idyll that is the Damp Dog Lodge while I toil away at the Festival of Dirt. You would expect that I would endure the lengthy and dangerous commute, the oppressive heat, and at times, the weapons-grade ignorance that comes with my job in order to provide this particular animal with the lavish lifestyle to which she has become accustomed. But now I feel betrayed.

You see, I have obtained secret photos detailing exactly what she does while I’m away and I am mortified.

That’s right. Apparently, my dog is actually running a call center out of my house during the day. (explains the cases of nutralite vitamins. – ed The beef flavored multis are starting to make more sense too.)

– bob

July 31, 2009

Bumper Sticker Politics

Bad news: the 2004 Mazda RX8 is on the revised clunker list. Good news: Cash for Clunkers is suspended for now. Most of the media are reporting that the program is out of money, but some aren’t so sure.

– bob

P.S. Thanks Jalopnik! (via The Truth About Cars)

July 27, 2009

I’ll Have The Number 9 With The Works

Friends,

This story, from Namco fan and Press-Enterprise star reporter Dug Begley, has everything you’d ever want in a news report. We here at Jaunty Central took a look at this story a couple months ago, but we know that you’re craving an update. Here’s Dug’s report in its entirety.

Charred remains of suspected copper thief ID’d
By PE News on July 27, 2009 7:00 AM | Comments (0)

After nearly two months officials have identified the second man electrocuted during a suspected copper theft in San Jacinto.

Brian Kersten, 48, of San Jactinto was identified despite no usable fingerprints or dental records, according to the Riverside County Coroner’s Office.

His charred remains were found June 2 in a vacant lot on Idyllwild Street.

Police said Kersten and William McDonald, 52, of San Jacinto had broken into a utility vault, presumably to steal copper wiring. Both were electrocuted in the mishap, which drew the attention of neighbors who reported fireworks and a small fire on a utility pole.

— Dug Begley

Yup, it name-checks my little town, misspells the name of the site of the attempted theft. As if that wasn’t enough, the story also features crispy criminals and also, let’s not forget, reports of fireworks.

What more could you ask for in a news story? (maybe something about the obama family dog? – ed That’s so three months ago. We’ve moved on.)

– bob

July 20, 2009

Spaceships On A Stick

Friends,

Forty years ago today, the first American astronauts strode upon the moon. When I was three years old, I watched the moon landing on CBS. Uncle Walter, when he or his analysts couldn’t actually describe a procedure, resorted to dramatic recreations of maneuvers using spaceships on sticks and waving them around the studio. Now they were speaking my language. Did I mention I was three?

Two other things I recall were that this whole thing wouldn’t have seemed like a big deal, considering that we’d been flying around in space my entire life, but that it made Uncle Walter cry. It was either momentous or sad, and I really didn’t have the tools to tell which was which.

Now, of course, the space shuttle is docked at the International Space Station fixing the toilets. Progress!

– bob