Category: Uncategorized

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Glug.

Angel Falls, named after some guy. Not Chris Angel.Friends,

There are mandatory water restrictions in Los Angeles and San Diego going on right this very minute. You get to water your lawns on Monday and Thursdays now. Oh, there’s more for the flatlanders to take in. The dean of Los Angeles political reporting Rick Orlov poses the hypothetical…

Residents who fail to achieve the 15 percent reduction in their allotment can expect to see their bimonthly bills to increase from $83.52 to $92.35. If they do reduce consumption by 15 percent, the bills are expected to drop to $71.59.

Yay, recession!

This won’t harm anybody at all. Thankfully, the dysfunctional Idyllwild Water District doesn’t have anything to do with the DWP. Not that they won’t take a cue from the nonsense down below and raise rates up here.

Well, at least we won’t have to worry about utility increases from cap and trade “nasty carbon” taxes.

Oh, wait…

– bob

UPDATE: Edited for a little more clarity. Added some punctuation.

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Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Czar

Kaisers and Tsars, oh my!
Friends,

The President of these United States is scheduled to announce the creation of a new position in the administration, that of Cyber Security Czar. Hopefully this completes the collector’s set with the Drug Czar, Car Czar (Chooch!), the Border Czar and the Regulatory Czar making up the rest of the set. Seriously, can we please stop with the Czars already? The title was cute once, but are these positions endowed with the power to be ruthless autocrats? Will each of these individuals be executed by Bolsheviks? (good bolsheviks are so hard to find these days. – ed)

There are so many other titles that might be used in place of the vaguely exotic “czar or tsar” that it’s hard to know where to start. Emperor? Dear Leader? Party Chairman? Each of them has the right tone, but if you’re really going for a sinister and despotic vibe, may I recommend Special Assistant to the President?

Nah, too creepy.

– bob

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It Only Took 40 Years To Lose The Plot

Friends,

Why are the Big 3 Detroit automakers in such dire straights? It’s marketing, of course. In 1967 American Motors was sitting pretty (oh, that’s debatable, isn’t it? – ed Leave the Matador coupe out of it.) and having fun. How much fun? This much…

1967 Rebel, isn't it?
Sure, it’s a lovely car, but what’s happening in the background?

Yeah, that'll sell it.
Like a rock? Not really. Dodge boys have more fun? Not likely. Would you really rather drive a Buick? Please. Certainly not your father’s Oldsmobile. Can you see Government Motors or Fiatsler (Chryslat?) doing something like this? Wait, doesn’t Chrysler own the AMC intellectual property assets?

– bob

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Jaunty Election Central – Your Vote Can Save The Republic!

Look out! It's an unrestrained bear!Friends,

Today we hold a special election in this great state of California which asks voters to bless legislative theft from different programs and constituencies to cover for their inaction. A simple thing, really. We labor under the highest tax burden in the country, but the assembly has raised those rates and would like our vote to keep them longer. The Lottery has some cash that they’d like to use to fill the budget gap. Maybe little children and the mentally infirm won’t notice if their pockets are picked as well. Sounds great! Where’s my polling place!

Polls show all of the budget related measures slated for crushing defeat. The nice thing about crushing is that it’s so much more satisfying when it’s louder, so go out and vote.

Your pal,

– bob

P.S. Yes, I know the budget deficit is slated to top $21 billion if the measures don’t pass. I also know that there are going to be painful cuts either way, except that the defeat of these measures amounts to a public outrage chaser.

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Our Amazing News Media – Something’s Missing Edition

Rustic, no?
Friends,

The news desk here at Jaunty Central is humming at least 24 hours a week to bring you aggregate the latest news about Idyllwild (or containing the word “Idyllwild” somewhere in the text). This morning, chilling news about a man who appears to be a pencil distributor. The Press-Enterprise’s own John Asbury has some, but not all of the details:

Man arrested outside Idyllwild school
6:15 AM Tue, May 12, 2009 | Permalink | Comments (0)
Posted by: PE News

An Idyllwild man was arrested Monday after deputies said he was offering children pencils outside a school.

A parent called authorities to report that a man tried to lure four 11-year-old students to his car to give them pencils outside the Idyllwild School, according to a Riverside County sheriff’s report.

Police arrested [some dude], 64, on suspicion of child annoyance and a probation violation.

I get the annoyance part. If he was handing out Wacom tablets and copies of Photoshop, they might have changed their tune a little. My question (and yours too, I would think) is what is this fella on probation for? My guess is not for the wanton distribution of writing implements…

– bob

UPDATE: Leave it to the Town Crier to flesh out the story. We still don’t know why this guy’s on probation, but J.P. still brings the goods in this week’s paper:

Man arrested at school

By J.P. Crumrine, News Editor

[Some dude], 64, of Idyllwild, was arrested last Friday on suspicion of annoying children at Idyllwild School. Principal Matt Kraemer sent a note home with the students alerting parents to the situation.

On Thursday, a man apparently approached several students and offered them free pencils to use for the state testing exams, which had already concluded. The man told children that if they accompanied him to his car, he would give them the pencils.

None of the students whom he approached complied. Instead, several came to the school office and reported the man, who was gone by the time Kraemer went searching for him.

On Friday, a suspect fitting the same description repeated his solicitation with an 11-year-old girl and her three friends who were on the school steps. Her parent reported this to the school and the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department.

While Kraemer was discussing the incident with a sheriff’s deputy, [that dude] entered the office area to complain that a parent had tried to abridge his free-speech right.

Kraemer escorted [that same dude] into his office and listened to his complaint. After informing him that the right does not carry onto school grounds and children, the officer arrested [the dude].

Late Friday morning, [creepy dude] was booked at the Southwest Detention Facility for annoying school children and violation of probation, according to Sgt. Stephen Mike of the Sheriff’s Department Hemet Station.

Free speech? Are you kidding? And by the way, how great is it that exactly none of the kids at the school fell for this joker’s “solicitation?”

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Happy Cinco de Mayo!

No, not Bank of America. Please.
Friends,

Today is the day that Mexicans all over the world celebrate the day in 1904 when Cy Young pitched the first perfect game in American League history while playing for the Boston Americans. Huzzah! the Mexicans cheered on that day 105 years ago. So tonight, when you’re on your 27th tequila shot, getting tired and emotional, remember the reason for the season—Denton “Cy” Young.

– bob

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Two Sentences From A Book – Mexico Edition

The Little Jaunty Players
– Proudly Present –
– An Ongoing Feature –
– That You Should Savor Before It’s Too Late –
– Right Here –
– In This Very Space –
– From Another Time and Another Place –

Two Sentences From A Book!

“In the second dynasty of Tilantongo, the codices have much to tell about a great warlord named 8 Deer “Jaguar Claw,” who lived during the Calendar Round which began in AD 1063 and ended in 1115. When he rose to power, he attacked a town known as Red and White Bundle, located to the east of Tilantongo, sacrificing both the lord of that place and (somewhat unchivalrously) his wife Lady 6 Monkey, who had been princess of Mountain of the Place of Sand.”

Who then migrated to the Asian subcontinent, changed his name to 1 Dog Millionaire and proceeded to the Lightning Round. Or something like that.

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This Amazing Year – The Death Of Pontiac

Stock photo, but the right color!Friends,

It looks like General Motors, in a last-ditch effort to extend their line of guvmint credit, have made the decision to kill Pontiac. “See! We’re really trying! …to completely ruin our company! Happy now?”

Luckily, there doesn’t seem to be a current Pontiac model (except the G8, oops) that’s actually unique in North America. Mom’s Pontiac Torrent, for example has sisters at the Chevrolet, GMC, Saturn and Suzuki dealerships. She’ll get parts during her government-sponsored warranty, and that’s good for all of us. No, really. You wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of Mom and a warranty claim. If you’re Steve Rattner, the head of the President’s Automotive Task Force, you may be under investigation for your private equity shenanigans, but your secretary isn’t paid enough to deal with the angry phone calls should the Torrent have a misfire. Just sayin’.

But you cats are the best and brightest, right?

Right?

– bob

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The Sunrise Series Returns For April

Friends,

Really I had no choice. I had to stop for a few shots of the sunrise this morning…

Sunrise At Paradise Corners, April 24th 2009
I haven’t done any color correction at all, but the camera might’ve underexposed the view a bit. Here’s a shot taken less than five minutes later…

Same Sunrise At Paradise Corners, April 24th 2009
If you click on these thumbnails, by the way, you’ll be able to see much bigger versions. This isn’t recommended for slow connections though, since the originals are relatively large.

Happy Friday!

– bob

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Amazon Recommends…

Now THAT'S booty shakin'Friends,

You know how much I like the Detroit Cobras, so it’ll come as no surprise that when I saw a link to their new album on Amazon, I had to click. You can download the MP3s from there, which is nice (and cheap!) and sample some of their other albums, like Mink Rat or Rabbit (pictured above). Amazon being Amazon offered some helpful suggestions on other things I might like to go along with my new music purchase:

Customers Viewing This Page May Be Interested in These Sponsored Links
Rodent Pest Control
WeGotYaPestControl.com Rodent Pest Control. New Customers Receive 20% Discount. Call Today!
Rat Rabbit
Yahoo.com Looking for Rat Rabbit? Find exactly what you want today.
Rabbits
California.local.com Find California Rabbits California’s Online Local Search.

Looks like somebody’s gonna need to put on some pants.

– bob

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Two Sentences From A Book! – For The Children

The Little Jaunty Players
– Proudly Present –
– An Ongoing Feature –
– That You Have To See To Believe –
– Right Here –
– Not Kidding –
– Back For Another Glorious Year –

Two Sentences From A Book!

“Card games are the foremost indoor recreation where parents and children can meet on a common ground of interest, without a feeling on the part of the children that parents are merely pretending interest in the juvenile toys. Many parents have found that card games, with their rules and their etiquette, are a powerful force in weaning children away from the “Me first!” and “That’s mine!” and “I want it all!” of infancy.”

Um, Nintendo on line seven…

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‘Ere Comes Pee Coddontay…

That's right. It's cake.Friends,

Yes, yes, yes. Easter was yesterday and what I did for the hippity-hoppity occassion was really next to nothing. Saturday, however, was a very different story. You could say that it was my niece’s birthday and you’d be pretty close, plus or minus a couple days. You could also say that it was a good day to view my brand new nephew, and you’d also be right. Despite what everyone else has been saying, you’re pretty clever after all!

Here are a couple of cute little kid shots:

The birthday girl.
Here’s the birthday girl on the swing in her backyard. Her cousin, who had been pushing the swing, decided that something more entertaining demanded her attention. Kinda cold, no?

Now that's a big boy.
And this, is young master William. In this particular shot, he’s waving off your humble paparazzo. They teach them that very early in Los Angeles.

I should have more pictures up this afternoon as appendices to this post. Until then…

Your pal,

– bob