Uncategorized – Page 8 – A Jaunty Little Blog

November 22, 2010

Seems That Somebody Got The Message

Friends,

I seem to have missed a little bit of news where the infallible head of the Roman Catholic church has relented on the use of condoms under “certain circumstances” to reduce the spread of sexually transmitted diseases. We can speculate on the reason for the change of heart, but it’s certainly an important first step. My big question is whether the CEO at work will allow the clinics to start stocking condoms in the clinic dispensaries. There’s certainly a need there, and since his boss’ boss’ boss’ boss now says it’s okay, why not?

Interesting times, eh?

Your pal,

– bob

P.S. But what do the little creatures think about all of this?

November 15, 2010

We Now Return To Our Regular Programming, Already In Progress

Friends,

I’ve taken the last two weeks off (basking in the accuracy and prescience of your election predictions? you were mostly right, except for proposition 23, which failed pretty miserably. -ed Aw, thanks. Shame about the 23 thing, but voters will continue to vote against their own interests, I suppose. Maybe redistricting won because it sounds cool, like wearing a fez.) and am rested and sufficiently rejuvenated to lay down some amazing wordy things. Right here! And on its doppelganger site as well. Did you know I maintain two versions of this mess? It’s true!

Why all this newfound energy? Maybe it’s because of yesterday’s victory by the arbitrarily-selected NFL team that I’ve decided to follow. Perhaps I’m finally shaking off the deleterious effects of the time change. Who knows? Maybe it’s the haircut.

– bob

November 2, 2010

A Jaunty Election Guide! – or – Where I Appear Clever By Mentioning Alan Cranston

Friends,

This mid-term election cycle has been the most expensive, the nastiest in my memory, the most divisive. This is where The Best Political Team on this Blog™ come in. We’ve read the literature, followed the polls, listened to the people. You can’t stay home for this one, folks. We’re energized, so let’s go!

Prop 19 – Legalizes marijuana under California but not Federal law. Permits local governments to regulate and tax commercial production, distribution, and sale of marijuana. Initiative statute: I was a big fan of this at first given the idea that the government should get out of the war on drugs business. After all, isn’t pot pretty harmless? Well, yeah, as long as folks are sitting on their couch, eating Doritos. What makes this one crazy is that it appears to have been written by people who were baked out of their minds. The prohibition against “workplace discrimination” in particular means—at least to me—that an employer can’t ask an employee if they’re high or remove them from tasks until after an accident happens. This also seems to present a problem for businesses that operate a “drug-free” workplace and need that designation to win government contracts.
Prop 20 – Redistricting of Congressional Districts. Initiative Constitutional Amendment: This is the most important proposition you can vote for in my humble opinion. You good people stepped up and voted for Proposition 11 back in 2008 to establish a citizens’ redistricting panel to take the every-decade state district boundary redrawing out of the hands of the legislature. No sweetheart deals, no more districts that look like snakes, wigs, mustaches, or other contortions to assure safe reelections. Proposition 20 adds congressional districts to the panel’s plate, much to Federal representatives’ chagrin. This makes me very happy, indeed. They hate that average people might decide what their districts look like and who’s in them. No more safe districts for those jokers, and you have to love that.

And now we skip down the ballot because we aren’t so sure what to think about 21 and 22…

Prop 23 – [hold on to your hat] Suspends Implementation of Air Pollution Control Law (AB 32) Requiring Major Sources of Emissions to Report and Reduce Greenhouse Gas Emmissions That Cause Global Warming, Until Unemployment Drops to 5.5 Percent or Less for Full Year. Initiative Statute: [whew!] I’m going to contradict myself later, but the importance of Proposition 23 can’t be understated. Yes, it’s been financed by oil companies from outside the state, but the idea remains sound. California alone can’t solve global warming on its own which is quickly rebutted by the pundits who remind those who care that this state is a bellwether for environmental legislation. This is why Tesoro and Velero are the major sponsors, certainly. What the pundits forget is that this is going to cost energy consumers in this state plenty in order to implement this golden idea. If the green lobby needs a girlfriend, please look elsewhere. We can’t afford your fancy lifestyle at the moment. The people who are putting up cash opposed to this measure are millionaires who might be able to afford the hit when they fill up their tanks, turn on the A/C or fire up their plasma teevees. The rest of us, especially when unemployment in the state is over 15 percent, can’t. Oh! Did I mention that AB 32 gives the California Air Resources Board unlimited authority to write rules to achieve their goal of reversing the Industrial Revolution? The unelected board that has no interest in, well, you? They’re completely mad and must be stopped. This is good place to start.

I have no idea what to think about Proposition 24. It repeals a deal worked out to get last year’s budget passed, which is likely to be a bad idea, but maybe Proposition 25 may fix that…

Prop 25 – Changes Legislative Vote Requirement to Pass Budget and Budget-Releated Legislation from Two-Thirds to a Simple Majority. Retains Two-Thirds Vote Requirement for Taxes. Initiative Constitution Amendment: Guh. I hate amending the constitution and I’m worried about removing the high bar for adopting a budget. That said, something has to give to solve this constant budget bickering. Late budgets are costing us money and inflicting a little pain for the constant delay is appealing. No, it won’t raise your taxes. Relax.

Proposition 26? It’s written by polluters who think you’ll be outraged that fees are like taxes and hope you’ll be really scared. Cynical bullshit.

Prop 27 – Eliminates State Commission on Redistricting. Consolidates Authority for Redistricting With Elected Representatives. Initiative Constitutional Amendment and Statute: Also known as the incumbent protection act. We don’t need citizens redrawing districts, our pals in the assembly were doing a great job assuring us safe districts all along. Why change? Well, because the gerrymandered districts drawn up by their pals make sure that each district is anti-competitive. Please vote no..

Well, that’s it. I’m not going to endorse any statewide offices because they’re all terrible in their own special ways. I’m particularly struggling with the Boxer v. Fiorina race. Barbara Boxer has been a terrible senator who has been reelected through luck and the hard work of the uncritical California Democratic machine. Carly caused me to lose the last job I loved and broke up a little family that I loved a few years ago. They’re the choices. Stinko offered to give me twenty bucks to vote for Boxer, but that’s the Chicago way, isn’t it?

Crap! What to do?

– bob

P.S. Oh yeah. Alan Cranston.

UPDATE: Votesmart.org has the answer for my question. It’s disturbing…

The upside is that I get twenty bucks.

November 1, 2010

Happy Hallowe’en – Part II, The Parading

Friends,

There isn’t really any conventional door to door trick-or-treating here in my little town. The houses are too far apart and it gets really dark (and spooky!) once you’re out of the range of either of the two street lights. Hence, the Idyllwild Hallowe’en Parade (or Harvest Parade or Pumpkin Festival Parade or something like that) and the turnout this year was the largest I can remember so here are a lot more pictures than I can remember ever posting. Enjoy!

It’s nice to see the families get out.

And the Roma people.

And the hoards in a queue, but what are they waiting for?

Oh just for Steve at Idyllwild Heating to pour buckets of candy over their heads. Yeah, no kidding.

Hey Gingerbread Man, bring buckets of candy and we’ll talk.

Most of the businesses down North Circle Drive had buckets of treats to share.

It’s good business, because it helps you earn a good reputation with the nicer people in town.

But why wasn’t anybody lining up for cider? Because it was two bucks a cup, perhaps.

Maybe some people were waiting for something a little stronger.

Here’s the best shot of the throngs I could manage. There had to be hundreds of people there.

And jellyfish.

And dogs dressed up like squirrels.

And a guy who dressed up as Elvis, but may have been a little distracted—by himself.

The people who were chose a theme were fun. I see what they’re doing here.

But I don’t get this. Any help?

Maybe I should’ve asked these guys.

I showed this picture to our own Idyllwild Weather Clam who was confused and wondered what the shark was supposed to be.

Claudius and Helena brought their daughter Moonbeam. Always good to see the local time travelers getting out and about.

And here’s sexy sailor girl posing with sexy Scooby Doo.

Pippi says what?

“That’s the end of the parade!”

– bob

October 31, 2010

Happy Hallowe’en!

Friends,

Here’s John De Lancie performing The Raven. I would suggest that you keep the lights turned all the way up if you’re a big scaredy cat like myself.

– bob

P.S. Better than James Earl Jones in The Simpsons? Comments are welcome.

October 28, 2010

Slow Warmup

Friends,

The teensy, tiny racecar has been throwing codes. This has been a fairly common occurrence, and not unexpected in an eleven year old car, but why?

I mentioned the code to the guy working on the Jeep Grand Livingroom after he was done with its transmission yesterday, and the guy had a great story to share. He asked, “is it a slow catalyst code?” He nailed it. I’m getting codes P0420 and P0421 at different times, “P0421 – slow catalyst warmup” in the current incarnation, and he shared a story.

“You know the ethanol they put in gas now? What is it, 10 percent? Well, it keeps the exhaust too cool and the cat won’t warm up on time for the computer and it’s making codes pop up.” What? This is completely reasonable, I guess, although wouldn’t additional oxygenates make the mixture too lean and run too hot? Ahhh, the computer is screwing with stuff…

“So yeah, the car companies are pissed because codes are tripping on cars that are too new and the warranty work is killing them. I heard that GM is suing those guys, whoever they are in California, who set the gas rules.”

I’ll take this opportunity to point out that those guys are the much-hated and unelected California Air Resources Board, but we’ll get further into that in the Proposition 23 discussion in this week’s election guide. Come back for that, won’t you? Back to our story…

“The only thing you can do, once the ethanol kills your cat is to change it out. You have a Mazda? That’s gonna be at least four hundred. The Asians are really high, unless you get one that’s built here. Except that they outlawed aftermarket converters, so the prices have gone up and up…”

My recourse, that I mentioned to him, is to change the oxygen sensors first. Once I find out that this fix doesn’t work, then we’ll see. Maybe I’ll just keep clearing the codes.

Neat!

– bob

October 27, 2010

Things To Know And Share

Friends,

First of all, you should know that bobtherieau.com is having problems, so pictures (including, sadly, our gal the Idyllwild Weather Clam) may not show up properly for a while. I also can’t post new pictures, so the picture above of the late, great Paul the Psychic Octopus is here under the GNU Free Documentation License.On the subject of Paul, he was the cephalopod who predicted outcomes throughout this year’s World Cup in South Africa. Genius!

We’re also mourning, here at Jaunty Central, the passing of Alexander Anderson, Jr. who with Jay Ward, developed Rocket J. Squirrel and his dim pal Bullwinkle J. Moose. Our thoughts are with Mister Anderson’s family today.

Your pal,

– bob

October 14, 2010

Hard To Know

Friends,

I was tipped to the story by the good folks at Metafilter that retired Air Force officer Stan Fulham has written a book predicting that a fleet of alien spaceships will be breezing by Earth today as some sort of first contact. The 13th? Really Stanley? You clearly didn’t consider the dimensional rift that cuts through my little town right in the middle of the parking lot outside the Village Market. Yesterday.

They’re here.

– bob

September 24, 2010

Extreme! Baby! Carrots!

Friends,

I heard the story on yesterday’s Marketplace about the Mason, Ohio school district placing vending machines in their high schools offering only baby carrots. The candy machines are disabled during the school day and the students are presented with vegetables as snacks. Weird! (no flaming hot baby carrots? -ed Not that I’m aware of, but there’s a marketing opportunity for you. Get on it!)

This war on childhood obesity is getting traction, I guess, but this is actually entertaining. The “bunch of carrot farmers” have a campaign that I find funny and self-aware. It’s not even living in the same universe as Nancy Reagan doing a cameo on Diff’rent Strokes to warn the kids off of drugs in that it might actually work. Genius.

BTW, baby carrots are delicious.

– bob

September 20, 2010

This Seems Like Kind Of A Big Deal

Friends,

So, the new vapor recovery gas nozzles mandated by the secret super children at the California Air Resources Board have a problem with their handle latches not working properly. No big deal, right? We’ll just use another vendor.

The problem is, there is no other vendor and the non-releasing latches have stuck open and have caused people to douse themselves with gasoline. Luckily, the state fire marshal has leapt into action and mandated that the latches be removed, causing gas station owners to howl that their patrons will find another way to not hold the handle while gas is pumped.

This is all very funny and tragic and emblematic of the shortsightedness of unelected bureaucrats, but it also gets to my point that if the petrol-fueled internal combustion engined automobile was only proposed today, regulators would have none of it. “It’s too dangerous! You would allow ordinary people to drive around with a tank full of explosive hydrocarbons wherever they want? To drive near schools! What if a terrorist should get a hold of one of these mobility machines!”

The best way to fix this, of course, is to go back to the old and perfectly fine vapor recovery nozzles. You know, the ones that we’ve been using for a couple years now. Oh, and put all of the CARB board members in stocks in the public square. So they’ll be safely away from the petrol spray. Because we care.

– bob

September 11, 2010

11 September 2001

Never forget.

September 3, 2010

A Road More Dangerous Than The Most Dangerous Road

Friends,

The roadworks happening right now on the Palms To Pines Highway are extensive and have involved a lot of stoppages during the warmest part of the day. I find that I’m annoyed sitting in traffic (surprise!) so I’ve diverted to taking what is colloquially termed The Banning Road—a poorly considered and haphazardly engineered pile of twists and turns that had inspired my most famous car crash. It’s no wonder that there are so many bits of motorcycles littering the roadside along the way.

Yes, with a new set of shoes (from your mom’s hyundai. -ed My Mom wouldn’t have a Hyundai, but these new tires sure were cheap…) I’ve started carrying a little more speed in those off-camber turns. This is a big mistake. The radii tighten mid-turn as a rule rather than an exception. Oh, and there’s no end of gravel, larger rocks and other debris right at the apex of many of the hairier corners. The steering goes light, the rear starts with a little howl, then starts to snap. Don’t brake here, because a spin is coming. Normally, if the road surface were clean, a little more throttle would induce a bit of oversteer and I could power right out. No drama. What’s happening instead is the summertime version of curling. Without the brooms.

I could really use a broom.

– bob

August 19, 2010

Silky, Smooth and Sporty

Friends,

Once again, the internet provides. Here’s a dealer video from 1973 extolling the genius of the Jeep Commando. Is it brilliant? Yes! Are there many drivetrain combinations? Of course! Stylish? Rugged? Amazing ground clearance? You bet!

You could be led to think that you’re a dope for not buying one. What a pity.

Sorry.

– bob

August 13, 2010

Unlucky

Friends,

I hate to admit when my brother Stinko is right, but he had some alarmist things to say yesterday about the lack of tread on the back tires of the Teensy Tiny Racecar. Something about no traction, something, something, crashing-something, do you have a spare? That sort of thing.

Naturally, I was having none of this talk considering that I had A Grand Plan to replace those tires [hint: in involves the next paycheck] and told him that I thought the baldness of the tires actually enhanced traction. You know, like racing slicks!

Um, the minute they change the rules in drag racing to allow gravel on the strip and throw in a couple hairpin turns, I’ll let you know. In the meanwhile, the racing slick on a street car myth was officially busted during my drive home yesterday. That, and some of the plastic bits on the front of my car.

Your pal,

– bob

August 11, 2010

Lucky

Friends,

Some societies consider visitation by giant beetles to be a good omen (which ones? -ed Just go with me on this.). Sure, it was odd to find this minor monster hanging off the screen door a couple days ago… …but maybe it was a sign. After all, the family was scheduled to stop by my place the next weekend. I wasn’t sure if I’d have time to prep the house, fix the broken toilet, clean up the leftover bits of dog. What I needed was another sign. Something that might, I don’t know, convince me that this wouldn’t be a complete disaster. Right! All that was left was for the kiddos to arrive… …and maybe line up on the staircase for a picture… …or even collapse the swing together… Even through my barbequed berry pancakes, minor meltdowns and a whole lot of mosquito bites, we even managed to get together for a great big family photo. Totally worth it.

I’m pretty lucky, don’t you think?

– bob