Tag: question

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The Question: Aren’t You Chilly? Edition

Friends,

Here’s a brand new question, ripped from the headlines!

Would you rather…

ratchet up the drama at work,
or
hide out at The Tilted Kilt across state lines?

a) It’s Sweeps Week!
b) Who came up with this PR campaign? Brett Favre?

 

John! Marsha!

– bob

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The Question: Looking For Fresh Brains Edition

Friends,

I know it’s difficult (and maybe even a little painful) to believe this, but The Question has been away since 2007. That’s a long time and we’re a little rusty, but my vivacious writing partner thought that we might give it another shot, so here’s your question for today…

Would you rather:

a) reabsorb a Smart fortwo;
or
b) announce your candidacy to be California’s First Dog?

a) I’m feeling a little gassy.
b) The Scottish Deerhound is up among 18 to 34s by three points.

 

That dog won’t hunt,

– bob

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Whatever Happened To…

Friends,

Nobody is very sad that we’ve stopped writing The Question, but we did. We wrote it primarily for our own amusement anyway, but it stopped being fun and started being an obligation. Actually, I personally received way more negative commentary about it than positive and that was certainly no fun. It may rise again one day, but no time soon.

Your pal,

bob

P.S. I’m also working on a follow-up piece to the Town Crier story (note: google cache link used since the town crier doesn’t permalink to past articles. – ed) on radiation in the drinking water, plus how blogging is killing my career! Come back for those later in the day, won’t you?

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We’re Gonna Blow The Lid Off

Would you rather…
uncover the conspiracy among the world’s fish population to ignore your lures,
or
a secret cabal of radical leftists?

a) …written on tiny scraps of paper, passed out in undersea meeting halls…
b) NASCAR? I never would’ve guessed!

Yes Wilbur, even Velveeta.

– bob

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It’s An Emergency, Alright

Would you rather…
follow up your Date Festival appearance with a concert date in Wendover, Nevada
or
trade your REO Speedwagon tickets for Foreigner tickets?

a) The Peppermill Casino welcomes Canada Lube ‘n Tune Franchisees and rock fans!
b) Eh, I’m fairly hot-blooded.

Dude, we’re getting the band back together…

– bob

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The Juice Boxes Were Gettin’ Loose In Turn Two

Would you rather…
be an anonymous coffee station dominating, breakfast-preparing temp,
or
start a NASCAR team to replace the suspended ones in the Daytona 500?

a) Look! If I let you by to get coffee, I might scorch the Hollandaise!
b) I’d like to thank the Gymboree/Starbucks Plymouth Voyager Team…

It’s the most important meal of the day!

– bob

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Diapers? That’s A New One On Us

Would you rather…
be on the wrong end of an Astronaut Love Triangle,
or
purchase everything you need to get rid of the other woman at The Stalker Hut?

a) Day 14, there she was again, in the Russian Astrophysics Module…
b) A wig, a knife, BB pistol, latex gloves, a steel mallet, and several feet of rubber tubing

Can’t we just be friends, until the supply module arrives?

– bob

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Creamy! He Sputtered

Would you rather…
be stranded in your van on the Isle of Man with Stan Chan and a can of flan,
or
stammer and stutter making your case for peanut butter?

a) Did I ever tell you about sinking my sampan off the coast of Japan?
b) Him? He’s an old nutter!

Where did you get that nice suntan?

– bob

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I’m No Heifetz, But I Get By

Would you rather,
be someone who just goes to work everyday—on a spaceship,
or
add portamento to your vibrato?

a) I’m originally from Iowa.
b) I’ve always enjoyed Lithuanian silk underwear music.

Oh look, here’s the new guy. Johnny Titanium Lunchpail.

– bob