Wanted! – UPDATE

Fellow Vigilantes,

My dear friend in America’s Finest Just Okay Godawful Wretched, Bastard-Filled City tearfully called an hour ago reporting a break-in. In addition to making off with priceless family heirlooms, sentiment-filled items of jewelry, and a digital camera, the chicken little bandits will soon be identified by the most telling bits of their booty. They absconded with not only two manicure sets but also a bunch of bananas, which they snacked on while committing their heinous crime.

It’s up to you, brave and well-armed citizens, to be on the lookout for a well-groomed and beautifully appointed gang of metrosexual orangutans.

This post will self-destruct in five seconds. Good luck.

– bob

P.S. It’s all true, I’m just speculating on the primates.

UPDATE: Oh no! This just in—Another friend has crashed her car this morning in America’s Finest Most Dangerous City. Everyone’s okay, but the gecko’s not going to like it one bit. It must be Terror and Destruction week down there. (Good thing it’s nice and safe here…)